Friends and Family (2001) User Reviews

might have been so much better

[ales_kovarik · 5/10 · 9 December 2005]

The main idea of this movie - gay couple in mafia - was interesting and this alone could make a good movie with the parents facing their son as a killer for mafia. But some things made the movie so stupid, that it felt almost like the writer got drunk, wrote some "funny" lines and a movie was made. I'm talking about the military parents. If the producers cut this part off the movie they could save some money on the bad actors portraying the militants and invest it to improving the script.

And the usual complain: no kiss and except for the last scene, there was no touch between the gay couple. But to be impartial, the other people in the movies didn't kiss as well.

A fun time at the movies

[TooShortforThatGesture · 7/10 · 29 June 2003]

Let me start by saying that Friends and Family is not a "great" film, or anything like it. But it is a very entertaining film, with lots of good jokes (usually in the 6-8 range on a scale of 1-10 for jokes) and it has another terrific performance by the amazing Tovah Feldshuh (she also gave one of the great -- and unacknowledged -- performances of the year in 2001 in "Dating Jessica Stein"). She seems to be a blessing for gay themed movies, but I'd really love to see her in lots of other stuff.

Someone else's review mentioned something about the jokes being insidery gay. Don't be misled by that comment. I think everyone will get the Judy Garland and Elizabeth Taylor references, etc. I mean, at this point, is there anyone under the age of 60 who doesn't understand camp humor? I don't think so.

Only arguable problem -- the gay couple is a little too "sterile." Sure they look good together and they have the same bedroom, but I don't think we get to see a kiss or even handholding. So from a Gay P.C. point of view it's a little too "Will & Grace."

Anyway, it's fun, it's broad, there are some good-looking guys but it's very PG (BRING THE KIDS!!!) the time flies by and you leave the theatre happy. All that for $6-11 (depending on what part of the country you live in.) What a bargain!

Entertaining, Though Not Amazing

[gavin6942 · 6/10 · 9 September 2013]

A gay couple are hit men for the mafia.

This is your standard comedy of twists, turns and mistaken identity. The twist here is that the main characters are gay, but their parents do not know... that they are mob hit men. It is pretty good, and this simple plot device gets carried on for quite a while successfully.

The strength of this film is in its approach to "gay themes". Obviously it relies on stereotypes, but I think that it handles them in a tasteful manner that is not derogatory or insulting to the LGBT community. The very fact so many openly gay people were involved gives it a certain stamp of approval.

There is less emphasis on the mob parts, so if you are looking for a Mafia comedy, this might not necessarily be your thing. It is good, it is funny, but the Mafia is really not as central as it first appears.

Such Potential

[SnowDrake · 28 June 2004]

Like so many gay movies, there is so much potential here, but it never matured during the artistic process. So many things were not quite there. The script with a little more polish, the directing with a little more experience, the acting moving a little faster, and the movie with a little more work would have been totally delightful.

Two things bothered me most.

1. The lack of a kiss or any real intimacy between the gay couple. I kept hoping until the end that they would kiss - even a small peck.

2. The pace. This movie was slow. Not sure whose fault this was. Did the director over control the actors not allowing them to move it along? Did the editor stretch everything to try meet an appropriate length? Not sure, but even the big action sequence toward the end was a waltz, when it should have been frenetic tarantella.

There were a lot of funny ideas here, but the delivery was sooo slow. Pace, pace, pace, screwball comedies are about pace. Keep it moving. It may have been that the production staff (writer, director, etc) where just too impressed with themselves.

The acting on the other was pretty good. I think with proper pacing they would have been exceptional.

Yes, like so many low budget indie gay movies - I wish for a rewrite and a remake by a competent director. I wouldn't change the cast at all, just the creative/production staff. This could be a delightful charming hilarious movie, but it isn't quite there.

By the way, if you listen to the commentary you may begin to understand what went wrong and who is at fault. Oh well, <sigh>.

lacks any realism

[jvframe · 6/10 · 19 October 2003]

I gave this a "6" for being well intentioned, but to me it seemed to be trying too hard to catch middle of the road support.

The characters don't develop convincingly at all - especially the supposed gay male couple who never even kiss properly. The most they do do is eye each other off. It smacked severely of straight actors playing gay for pay.

This was the opening film of Brisbane's "Queer Film & Video Weekend" on 27th March 2003 - and though I didn't like it at all, the bulk of the audience (men and women) loved it.

I much prefered the dark humour of "Nine Dead Gay Guys" which screened the next evening and which was unapologetic, inventive and fully entertaining.

"Friends and Family" was really just fluffy - ala "Will & Grace".

A near total delight from start to finish

[barbara_please · 10/10 · 4 November 2003]

I saw this uproariously funny little film this summer and bought it as soon as it came out on video. What a breath of fresh air it is to see a movie that goes back to the basics of classic comedy rather than pandering to the current vogue of substituting posing and attitude for genuine humor. The plot revolves around a gay couple who are hitmen for the Mafia, but don't expect a one-joke film that caters to stereotypes. Instead, expect several wacky but seamlessly interwoven plotlines that are handled in the style of the old screwball comedies, with wit and panache. And one of the film's strongest elements is the way it sends up and subverts stereotypes rather than exploit them.

I've read some criticisms of this film because the two guys don't kiss. Well, I'm a gay man and in a long-term relationship and I thought this was one of the most convincing, affectionate and natural portrayals of a gay couple in memory. Obviously, the couple has a sex life, but we don't have to see it. And the final love scene (without a kiss) was one of the most erotic, beautiful things I've seen in any recent movie, gay or straight.

Fatuous Fluffy Fabrication

[Suradit · 6/10 · 27 September 2014]

The movie is ridiculous. The overall "plot" is ridiculous. The humorous misunderstandings and paths to resolution and the behavior of characters generally is ridiculous. The bizarre juxtaposition of mafia, gay body-guards, insurrectionists, the wanna-be cook, the wanna-be interior decorator is ridiculous. The inability to follow simple cooking directions without a disaster and especially the need for the wonderful Edward Hibbert to train a group of ultra-macho mafia hit men to act like campy gay waiters is ridiculous … but the resulting performance of the waiters was good for some chuckles.

If you're in the mood for ridiculous it was a moderately amusing movie. Not rolling on the floor funny, but fairly funny with a few out-loud laughs here and there. It is obviously mocking some stereotypical subplots found too often in gay movies and it is very much mocking itself as it mocks others … sometimes successfully lampooning, sometimes falling flat. Most of the characters are well played by an able crew of actors. Maybe it deals with an overly complex interweaving of stories for such a fluffy movie.

If you're in the mood for some mindless silliness and not aiming to nitpick things that make no sense outside of the context of this story, it's probably worth a watch while you wait for the dryer to finish off your laundry.

If you want edgy realism, politically correct characterizations and a satisfying dénouement to an on-going nail-biting crisis, don't even think about watching this disorganized & chaotic production.

Very slight comedy

[dirtychild · 3/10 · 15 October 2006]

Friends and Family is a very slight comedy about a couple of gay mobsters whose parents come to town (knowing about their relationship but not aware of their occupation).

Despite being advertised as "from the creators of Gods and Monsters" - I'm not quite sure of any connection (after doing a quick search in IMDb) - maybe they had the same caterers.

Friends and Family doesn't really have a whole lot going for it - it tries to make fun of fairly boring stereotypes (you got your mobsters, your really camp queens, drag queens, blah blah blah) and the humour is quite limp and soggy. It really feels a lot like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - another movie which (in my opinion) was quite sad.

I thought the only slightly humorous idea was the hick mid-west family who were planning destruction to the "Federal Government Occupiers of the United States" - but I'm sure this was a pre-9/11 movie...

Overall - if you think "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was the funniest movie around - you might get a kick - otherwise for those who need a bit more omph with their comedy - don't bother!

Very cute movie

[philbear · 8/10 · 16 January 2005]

Despite what rrfrank writes in his comment, "Only totally undemanding homosexuals desperate for validation will bother with this dog" I am not undemanding, not desperate for validation and I am not a dog. I am very demanding and I am a bear. (For those that don't know, big hairy gay man.) Yes, the movie drug at several points. Yes, there are far too many stereotypical gay type characters ... overly stereotypical ... looks like a homophobes attempt at creating gay characters. Fabulous! Having grown up during the time when a lot of these stereotypes were the only "role models" gay people had it is really amusing to see someone finally making fun of them.

I do have to say that you must sit through the entire movie. The first time I saw it, I was not enthused by the title, the cover and the fist fifteen minutes ... truth be known, I went to cook dinner. My other half was watching and would break out laughing ... it became more frequent. I guess it was a good 30 minutes into the movie when I had to come in and watch. Well, I had to finish diner but after fixing out plates I made him start it over from the beginning.

I love watching the butch gangsters trying to "act gay" - picture big butch guys with guns trying to queen it up. And during the big party, the god father is terrific trying to make sure that one lady has everything she wants to see at the party.

What Were They Thinking?

[Lechuguilla · 2/10 · 8 June 2008]

Although I liked the film's visual and musical style, and the production design was good, "Friends And Family" suffers from a terrible script and poor casting. The idea that two gay lovers would be part of a mafia ring is both silly and not credible. And the subplot of the paramilitary militia, as comedy, is stupid in the extreme. When you take these two plot contrivances out of the script, you don't have a story. I don't know what the screenwriter and the director were thinking; but this dreadful concept does not work.

The other big problem here is the casting. The two male lead actors (Greg Lauren and Christopher Gartin, both of whom are obviously straight) have zero chemistry as gay lovers. Did they have in their contracts some stipulation that they would play gay roles only if they didn't have to touch each other? That's the impression that their so-called "performances" convey. Whatever reason, their on-screen "relationship" is more like best buddies with girlfriends who never show up. Casting truly gay actors, no matter how little talent they had, would have been more convincing.

With the gay Richard character so flamboyant, and with all those drag queens, one wonders if the real intent of this film was actually to perpetuate gay stereotypes.

As such, this movie seems like some cheaply made cinematic throwback to an earlier era, say the early 1980s, closer in time to "The Godfather", and when "gay" TV sitcoms and movies like "Tootsie" existed for viewers to laugh at gay people. "Friends And Family" is strictly for the Disney crowd and retro viewers. It's comfy, palatable, shallow fluff lacking in both real-world credibility and thematic depth.

Make friends with this movie, which is fun for the whole family.

[grannygrunt_1924 · 10/10 · 26 November 2003]

Fun Fun Fun!

The first time you watch it, you'll enjoy the punchlines and situations

The second time you'll appreciate the clever story and plot.

And this is one "gay" movie you really can take the grandparents and kids to.

Most of the performances are tip-top, but there are a couple of wooden actors and couple of actors who are OVER the top. Still, even though it's not the most polished movie you'll see, it may be one of the most fun.

A Good Concept Gone Bad

[walterparada · 1/10 · 30 July 2007]

This film deserves a whack job! What could have been an exceptionally funny film, a good suspenseful thriller, or operatic drama piece combining the mob and gay genres goes royally bad with "Friends and Family." The main idea of two openly gay mobsters goes against the grain of known mob history about having openly-free homosexuals operating in the mob. In this supposed comedy, one of the mobsters has visiting parents, while their understanding comrades prepare, with absolute unbelievable camp (which includes -- ho-hum, *yawn!* -- drag queens), to make a special event more illuminating. Thrown into the mix is perhaps the stupidest idea of a para-militia with their un-focused objective of launching an anti-government campaign at a mob-arranged dinner. Huh?!! All the sequences in this film are poorly executed, the writing is more flat-lined than a corpse in the back of a Buick, and most of all, the two leading gay mobster-boyfriends are absolutely unbelievable as a gay couple. They don't even share any affection to one another, or so much as a kiss, unlike Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal's more honorable portrayals in "Brokeback Mountain." "Friends and Family" is just plain awful. Whoever thought this film would be great to write and produce certainly didn't have the great fore-sight of forming what could've been another wise, potentially great mob tale. There is so much gripping and fantastic themes that can derive from the mob and gay genre. But "Friends and Family" opted for the more stereotypical route of camp and cross-dressing men sown into a mobster movie. This film absolutely deserves to be shot, burned, and kept six feet under, never to be viewed and heard of again!

Original Comic Twist on Old Theme

[baze · 8/10 · 2 September 2001]

The cliche? A surprise visit from Mom and Dad sends a gay couple into a tizzy. The twist? Mom and Dad KNOW Stephen & Danny are happy and gay and have no problem with it--what they DON'T know is that they work for the mafia--the Patrizzi family, as enforcers and bodyguards. In this surprise parental visit, the ruse is not acting heterosexual for Mom & Dad but acting like, well, caterers. Throw in an unexpected visit from the militia, a fierce drag queen or two and mob enforcers acting like gay cater-waiters and hilarity ensues.

This visit scenario is but one way in which this film shows and old dog some very funny new tricks. Make no mistake--this is a farcical, screwball comedy with broad humor and somewhat unbelievable situations, but it goes for the laughs and usually gets them. The writing is crisp and intelligent, the sub-plots funny and well-defined and the acting uniformly excellent, with Tony LoBianco's "Don Patrizzi" an understated stand-out.

The underlying twists--fathers disappointed in sons, secrets kept from family members, "mixed marriages" and such are played for laughs, and almost always differently than we have seen these themes played out in other films. The film does not take itself too seriously, yet it has a sweet message of love and romance and truth to ones own ideals that runs throughout and helps us get more out of the film than just laughs.

Friends & Family had a regional premiere at Austin's 14th annual Gay & Lesbian International Film Festival in September, 2001, where it played to packed houses on two nights, but this film deserves mainstream release. It is unrated, but might garner a PG-13--it has little coarse language, sexually suggestive scenes or violence (save the cartoonish sort), and is a film I would readily take my 13 year old niece and nephew to as well as Mom and Dad. Tovah Feldshuh, Anna Maria Alberghetti and Mesach Taylor co-star.

The gay characters are likable, fairly realistic, and actually the heroes of the story; the film might well serve to introduce an awareness and tolerance that is often lacking in film (and in life).

Two chuckles & one star

[lucyfan-3 · 7 December 2003]

That's the only way I can describe this dog. Just awful. Two chuckles for very rare "funny lines" and one star for finished product. I may lie to local video store & claim dvd was defective. At least I'll get a credit for wasted money! LOL! Could have been so much better without stereotypes & militia parent storyline. I do give my "hats off" to actors that portrayed Stephen & Danny. They were the only redeeming factors in a poorly written script. Did I mention that they were "easy on the eyes"? WOOF!

Really, really stupid

[btx · 1/10 · 3 December 2003]

I watched this flick the other night with my roommate (he picked it out; I didn't), and it was unbelievably bad. We both agreed it was one of the worst movies we'd ever seen. The jokes, about mothers, midwesterners, mafioso, et. al., are hideous and lame. The characters are all horrible cliches. The plot marches on in a ludicrous fashion that really grates on the nerves. Cuts between scenes that are meant to subtly emphasize the irony of the situation only reveal the insipid obviousness of the plot. On top of it all, the over-the-top, hammy acting reinforces so many stupid stereotypes that you wind up wanting to yell at the screen. Despite this, my roommate and I resolved to finish the movie. Don't ask me why -- perhaps we were hoping for a sex scene that never happened.

Fresh and Funny!

[gordonhazzard11 · 10/10 · 23 November 2002]

I saw this film in a sold out house at a film festival in NYC last year.The crowd loved it and I was laughing with them all the way! The character role reversals in this film will have you rolling in the aisles and the cast is first-rate. This director(this is her film debut)has a bright future ahead!

Painful to watch.

[ldonica · 1/10 · 22 August 2005]

I am gay and my partner and I had to force ourselves to stick with this one through the end. The script could have been developed a bit more and perhaps it would have been OK, but no such luck here. The possibility for a sophisticated, funny movie revolves around the fact that the gay male lead duo are the antithesis of stereotypical. While they are macho mob hit men, the straight sons of their boss love cooking and fashion design. That's fine, but it goes a bit too far when at one point the lead guys can't figure out, even working together, that egg shells shouldn't end up in something people are going to eat. What does that prove? That gay people can be stupid, too? Despite the role reversal, all the stereotypical gays eventually are incorporated into the story en masse. This seems to suggest that the non-stereotypical lead characters are an anomaly among gay men. If I wasn't gay, I am guessing I would have enjoyed it - but we gave it 4 thumbs and 4 big toes down.

Adorable and fun -- laughs for the whole family

[jennifergerbil · 8/10 · 8 February 2005]

What a cute movie! I must have watched this five times, the first time I rented it, although I had to hide the remote to keep from going back to the close-up shots of the actors. It certainly didn't hurt that they were just gorgeous.

The acting overall was what I expected and I didn't have a problem with the pace of the movie. It helps to go into this looking to have fun and not some sort of connection to the plot or characters. This is meant to be fun and lighthearted (its not the Sopranos) and it delivers. There were several chuckle-worthy scenes, although watching them try to cook was more a 'laugh in horror' kind of thing. And I loved the role the two played with the mob family -- they are part of the family. I thought it was adorable the way the Don was almost protective of them, and Jenny... too funny! I was a bit disappointed with the fact that Stephen and Danny had very few affectionate gestures at first but with the second and third viewings... well, those glances were pretty heavy and the lack in the beginning made that final "almost kissed" scene even more powerful. Although my daughter ("That's it?! He's not gonna kiss him?!), didn't think so. Ah well.

Oh, if you get a hold of this, be sure to check out all of the features. I liked the deleted scene that shows a tense moment between Stephen and Danny. It's a shame it didn't make the final cut but I can see why -- it's almost harsh compared to how upbeat the rest is.

a big thumb down!

[aangoli · 5/10 · 23 November 2003]

I am sorry to say, but the acting of the two gay guys was quite bad. The story itself seems not to lead anywhere. The scene of the party, when the soldiers come in action is very pathetic.

Too PG To Be Proud

[SunRock17 · 25 January 2004]

Much too cute for it's own good. It could have been so much more in the hands of a capable Writer and Director. A shame that apparently they could not be found.

Not a kiss between the main characters and this is presumed to be a gay film? Hardly even a damn or hell - much less anything truly representative of the authentic language of the genre.

It's a shame because this might have been a good flick - the premise was a winner - but the Director and Writer's juvenile compulsion to Disneyfy this work was an abject failure. It's nothing more than a cartoon; and a poor one that embarrasses the quality of the acting talent involved. Insulting to a any audience too, much less a gay one.

Oh yeah, the Director's commentary on the DVD is a hoot and a half. Talk about control issues and being rather impressed with herself. You then start to understand where this film went wrong....when they picked that Director and failed to let the writer graduate from the pre-school playground.

Great movie.... almost like a Gay Sequel to Mr. and Mrs. Smith!!

[ViniB · 9/10 · 5 July 2011]

The only reason I actually decided to watch this movie was because of the reviews – some good, most bad. I wasn't really expecting much from the movie… but something like a Gay version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. And the movie doesn't disappoint. It's cute, funny, hilarious and probably one of the best movies I have seen in the past week. And I feel like I should defend the filmmakers.

Most reviews centered on the leads not being gay enough or the lack of intimacy. But anyone who has actually been in a relationship for more than 10 years can vouch that though they did not hold hands and kiss, they had an amazing chemistry. They have merely crossed that hand-holding stage, which Jenny and Matthew still have, and have reached a stage where they are just comfortable in each others' presence. I have been with my partner for 13 years, and our relationship is quite similar. The fact that they risk their lives for each other every day can only vouch for that! The eyeing scenes, where they just need to look at each other to ascertain their feelings are actually the highlight of their relationship. Esp. "We are gonna grow old together". They even hold hands, if you closely, in the scene where Stephan's mother mistakes the singer for the Drag Queen and later, when Stephan realizes that only reason Danny works for the Mafia with Stephan, is because Stephan is too busy to spend time with him, otherwise. And not to mention the last scene: "So as not to offend the Gods!"

There are lot of stereotypical jokes, esp. when the Mob enforcers are learning how to "become Gay" like learning the history of Cher and Sir. Elton John, but they are included only because the filmmakers are going for stereotypes. Because, unlike Danny and Stephan, who just happen to be two men in a relationship, the straight waiters actually have to convince everyone including Stephan and Matt's parents, that they are, in fact, stereotypical Gay waiters, so as not to blow Danny and Stephan's cover. Even Vito and the Don pitch in, pretending to be their workers - much to Stephan's discomfort – even going as far as arranging the drag show. This would probably be considered the greatest honour in the Mafia, at least in Hollywood. This is just the filmmakers' way of trying to say that in spite of being "Gay" (and prob. discharged from the army under the DADT, as they refer, "we asked… we told") they are greatly respected and honoured by the Don himself.

As far as the cooking scene goes and the guys destroy everything they touch, it doesn't mean they are stupid or incompetent, it just means that just because they are gay, it doesn't necessarily mean they have to know how to cook. There are lots of people, men and women, gay and straight alike, who wouldn't know the first thing about making a goose-liver patte, or ricotta cheesecake, or even boil a proper egg or even make a proper tea for that matter and these two just happen to be them. But they are good at what they do… they are good killers and enforcers. How come no one complained when Angelina Jolie fed Brad Pitt "peas" in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but when two Gay guys do not know how to cook, it's like law against nature? How many people can claim both expertise in guns and expertise in cooking at the same time? The guys' expertise is seen in the last fight, where they singlehandedly organize, fight and overturn the hostage situation.

But the movie doesn't center on the guys or their sexuality, it centers more around their "coming out", as Mafia Hit men, to an FBI Agent father! And that is even more difficult than anticipated. The movie is out and out Jenny's flick. She is the catalyst that binds the movie together. Whether convincing her family to accept a non-Italian, non-Catholic son-in-law from the Heartland; to convincing Danny and Stephan to let her arrange a party for Stephan's father; or whether its convincing her father, the Don, to let his sons, the future "Padrone" be the cook and the decorator at Stephan father's party; to making sure that Danny and Stephan, should finally be able to lead the family by hiding the fact that her fiancé is actually a Sicilian – which backfires, when Matt accidentally tells Don; to actually going out of the way to convince the Mob enforcers to act as waiters. Jenny happens to be the true star of the movie.

Worst movie ever made

[sdmegz · 1/10 · 19 March 2008]

i don't even know where to begin...if i could give it a "zero"- for truly awful- i would. What is the point of having "gay" main characters when in truth they were really bad straight actors that obviously had in their contracts that there would be no touching, kissing, etc- anything that would actually make them seem like a gay couple. I am sorry but the plot was... Horrible. Not to mention the weird military sub plot that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. This was poorly written, directed, acted, and well lets just get straight to the point it sucked. I would not recommend wasting an hour and half of your life on this BS movie and think that i should have been paid for the time i spent wishing for it to get better. Do NOT listen to the other reviews (i unfortunately listened) go do something better with your time.

Good movie -- but really not a GAY movie.

[wistariawing · 8/10 · 3 February 2006]

It's a good movie, although not excellent, but I think I still enjoy it. Those two guys are just damn hot!!! The single one flaw is that they seem more like real close friends than lovers to me. Okay sure for whatever's sake I can understand the no sex act and even no kiss part, but I'm quite confused that I don't even see them do the touching like a real couple would do -- no hugs, no pats, not even hand casually put on each other's shoulder or small of the back -- that's just not feeling right. Okay so they don't do any of these in public, but that scene where they two are sitting at the couch? That's at their own home! And they're sitting half an arm's length to each other! It's just so totally off especially with the topic they're talking. Anyway you can maybe, *maybe* put it for the reason of that "internal homophobia" they're talking about, but I just really having a hard time to buy that.

Anyhow, Steven and Danny are HOT. Period. Got cute little scenes too, if only that they could make the feeling of lovers better.

Just HORRIBLE!

[mastrait · 1/10 · 26 August 2005]

This has to be one of the worst movies I have ever watched. The plot idea could have been something, but the writing was not there. I really wished I had never rented this movie.

Two gay hit men, lovers... and "out." Sounds interesting, but that is the sum of the interest. The acting is flat, or WAY over the top. The stereotypes are repulsive, and there is not a character to be liked in the entire movie.

This lame attempt at comedy gets a one for the music, which at times is good, other than that do not waste your time or money on this dog. Don't say that you were not warned if you do.

Very Funny and full of Irony

[valliton · 10/10 · 9 June 2001]

This movie is definitely worth seeing. Although it is currently only running in film festivals, the opportunity to catch it should not be missed. The clever use of irony, along with the crisp acting and steady flow of humor make this movie truly enjoyable.