The Ninja Squad (1986) User Reviews

Two films for the price of one—and they're both crap.

[BA_Harrison · 3/10 · 23 September 2011]

Having actually enjoyed a couple of Godfrey Ho's ninja movies, I had toyed with the idea of tracking down and reviewing them all, but after the travesty that is The Ninja Squad, I think I'll knock that one on the head: just the mere thought that this might not be the cruddiest of Ho's films sends a shiver right down my spine.

For The Ninja Squad, Ho once again takes an old Asian flick and splices in some totally unconnected ninja nonsense (starring Richard Harrison, naturally) to make a completely new product; as always, the result is a disjointed mess, but whereas some of his other efforts manage to entertain by either being unintentionally hilarious, downright sleazy, or both, this one is, for the most part, extremely boring.

The non-Richard Harrison material sees trained ninja Billy avenging his mother's death, not through the use of his martial arts skills, but by gunning down her killers with an assault rifle. It's non-stop action all the way, but so poorly thrown together that it quickly becomes very tiresome. These parts of the film also feature some of the worst dubbing I have ever heard—funny at first, perhaps, but it soon becomes irritating.

Meanwhile, the newer footage features Harrison as Pink Ninja (ooh ducky!), who spends his day swinging his weapon around waiting for villainous rival Ivan the Red to finish killing other assorted colour-coded ninjas (white, yellow, black and that old favourite, camouflage ninja) so the two of them can clash swords at Falcon Ridge (didn't Joan Collins used to be in that?). Moderately amusing in places (Ivan's golden boomerang and frisbee made me laugh), but not enough to make me ever want to go anywhere near this film again.

The "revenging" of an unemployed ninja

[cold_lazarou · 16 October 2011]

Another nugget of movie-making gold from the crazed minds of Godfrey Ho, Joseph Lai, and the must-be-fictional IFD script unit. This time our pal Richard Harrison (who is unnerving without his trademark moustache, just like a young Burt Reynolds or a post-Fawlty John Cleese) returns as Ninja Master Gordon to train a young lad named Billy in the mystical arts of ninjitsu.

Unfortunately for Billy, he hasn't reckoned on the lack of job prospects for 18th century Japanese assassins down at the local labour exchange, and finds himself returning to his home town without money or gainful employment, and facing a gang of extortionist thugs threatening his poor old mother that if she doesn't find any cash they'll "burn down your f***in' house"!!! Class.

Whilst young Billy wrestles with the domestic soap opera aspects of ninja existence, his master Gordon is entangled in conflict with the startling Ivan the Red (Dave Wheeler), who possesses an amazing costume, a ludicrously macho and husky dubbed voice, and a truly sensational bass-lead theme tune. Seriously: if they release "Ivan's Theme" i predict it as Christmas number one with full confidence. Ivan's challenge to Gordon to fight to the death for NINJA SUPREMACY is spurned, and so Mr. The Red decides to take out a number of random ninjas clad in outfits of varying ludicrousness as they "train" (jump about a bit) in various neighbouring fields. Obviously, we're all waiting for the final showdown between these two ninja colossi, and we aren't disappointed.

Well, we are, to be honest, but as with all of these movies, it's the journey , not the destination, that matters. And when we've encountered such hilariously inept dialogue, thrillingly pounding basslines, and dubbing so bad it may well make you mentally ill along the way, who can possibly complain? Only the type of person who wouldn't even "revenge" their own mother.

This is a joke, right? Please tell me this is joke!

[Boanthrope · 1/10 · 14 April 2003]

It grates my potatoes when I read reviews on this site that say things like "This is worst film ever!" about films like Battlefield Earth, Pearl Harbour, etc. OK, these films are dreadful and made by people who should know better but compared to this tripe, and its ilk, I would describe Battlefield Earth as a cinematic masterpiece.

I would concede that it's certainly possible to make a worse film than this but you have to be genuinely trying to make a bad film.

** Spoilers ahead ** (Ha, as if you could spoil this film.)

There are just so many things wrong with this film and it takes multiple viewings to spot them. E.g., at one point, John, a good guy, while trying to come up with a plan with rescue Billy's sister suggests using his adopted children a decoy! Also, the bad guy kidnaps Billy's sister early and doesn't think of using her as bait to capture Billy until right at the end of the film.

Even the one thing that they seem to have put a bit of effort into - the gun-based action sequences - are bad. They're just boring and repetitive.

However, I learnt several interesting things from this movie:

1. Wherever this film is set, it is certainly a very cosmopolitan area. The lead character, who seems to have lived here all his life, has managed to pick up a South African accent. The evil gangsters all seem to sound Mexican and/or Asian. The women have an array of different, peculiar American accents. (Were the dubbing actors having bets on who could do most stupid voices?)

2. Being brutally machine-gunned down results in no more than slight bleeding from the mouth (and then only sometimes).

3. Any slight brush against a ninja's sword results in instantaneous death.

4. Ninjas, i.e. stealth assassins, wear Day-Glo padded suits. A headband with 'ninja' written on it is the current must-have ninja accessory.

5. Job prospects are poor for Asian ninjas nowadays. (You'd think Billy would have thought of that before going off to spend 10 years at Ninja School.) However, many of the causasian ones seem to have jobs that involve poncing about in glades.

6. When a ninja dies, a windchime somewhere falls down.

Nevertheless, this film is a hoot. I honestly can't decide if this it is really as bad this or if someone is taking the piss - especially with regards to the randomly interspersed ninja sequences and the godawful dubbing.

Thoroughly recommended.

This film hurt me

[dilapidated_mind · 1/10 · 20 March 2005]

The pain I endured during the viewing of this film was unbelievable. I didn't exactly have high hopes for this film, in fact I watched it merely because I was in need of a laugh. But unfortunately for me, my brain could not have sustained worse damage had I repeatedly ran head first into a brick wall.

SPOILERS AHEAD 70% OF THE FILM RUINED(not that there's a plot anyway)

A man named Billy has not been paying his rent. Enter the rockard African Americans with bad Australian dubbed voices who proceed to get there asses kicked by the mighty Billy. They go back to their boss and.... that's where my IQ dropped 24 points. Anyway, Billy's mother is eventually killed and his sister kidnapped, so he sets out on a journey to "revenge" his mothers death (no I am not joking he really does say that).

Most of the film concentrates on Billy randomly going to sites with bad guys and pointing a gun in different directions to shoot his load. These sessions are followed by large intervals of talking. The talking seems to go on for hours, which is probably thanks to the gut wrenching dubbing, the silly looking characters and the annoying music.

The other untimely classic character this film introduces is Gordon

Gordon, the ninja, is challenged by the mighty Ivan the red. Ivan wants to kill Gordon so he may be crowned as "The Ultimate Ninja". If Gordon refuses, Ivan will go on a ninja killing spree until Gordon changes his mind. Obviously Gordon, being the intelligent man that he is, refuses and Ivan proceeds to wipeout every last ninja from the face of the earth. One thing Ivan should have considered is how can the ninjas praise him as this grandmaster if they're all dead? But oh well, none of the other characters use there brain in this film why should he be any different?

The main thing I noted about the characters in this film was that every one of them, especially the ninjas, were so superbly trained. No matter how many times a character was shot, slashed or stabbed they just wouldn't bleed. No blood was spilt in this film whatsoever.

Another notable is how every ninja in this movie is a Badass White American. Every time one of the ninjas died they would pull the stupidest face ever before keeling over at a ludicrous speed which had me in fits of laughter. It actually kept me watching to see if the next ninja's death would be funnier than the last. But the repetitive Billy scenes just kept coming back over, and over, and over, and I've just had enough of typing now. I would say more about this disgrace to planet earth,but even thinking about this film for too long could cause irreparable brain damage.

Its awful and I recommend it

[wollathet · 1/10 · 6 October 2018]

This is awful, theres no doubt about that, its a Godfrey Ho movie so obviously it has awful acting, writing, editing, story and plots (yes there are two plots). It is still funny. Plot one is a guy called Billy, I think, who has a hilarious Aussie dubbing and he's facing a villain called Larry who has terrible dress sense. Then a ninja is killing ninjas to draw out the master ninja called Gordon (Richard Harrison) but the evil ninja is sending Gordon letters to challenge him or he'll kill ninjas. So Gordon just stays out of it.

This is something of a 'so bad its good' and will friends it will make for a great laugh, but its still dreadful

Possibly the best film ever?

[cj7 · 1/10 · 13 October 2001]

No - not by a long shot.

It is, however, a film of two halves. On the one hand, we have a Chinese drug trafficing film, where a ninja called Billy is fighting to save his family from the evil gangsters who are terrorising them. This is randomly interrupted by some Ninja fighting scenes, involving western actors with headbands saying "Ninja" - the idea here is that Ivan the Red, the evil ninja, is killing another ninja once a month.

Their ninja skills are very impressive, however, since they manage to kill their opposition without leaving even a trace of blood on the body or their sword. A more skeptical viewer might think, in fact, that the sword never even made contact with the enemy.

Finally, all I can say is "Dub good". Halfway through the film we are introduced to a random women with an awful Southern drawl, who luckily gets killed soon afterwards, but shows just how awful the casting of the voice actors was.

In conclusion, this film has got to be seen, if only to understand just how bad it is.

Billy, Don't Be a Ninja!

[NoDakTatum · 1/10 · 29 October 2023]

Just when I thought "Goodnight, Sweet Marilyn" was the end-all-be-all of two lousy films combined to make one really lousy film, along comes "The Ninja Squad." The first problem? There be ninjas, but they never gather into a squad, herd, or even casual get-together. None of the actors or actresses are credited with their character names, so I cannot give credit (or blame) where credit is due. The linear story is as follows: Gordon, a ninja, keeps young Billy on as a student for ten years at the Ninja Training School. Ah, the good ol' NTS, I think they fielded a football team in the Big East Conference this year. Anyway, Billy is ninja certified and goes home to the slums of the anonymous Far East country in which he lives (I'm guessing the Philippines, but I may be wrong). Billy is welcomed back in time to kick the collective butts of a group of local toughs run by the crime boss, Larry (I kid you not). Larry runs guns and collects a bunch of girls to act as couriers, including Billy's sister. Meanwhile, Gordon is having a pocketful of ninja trouble. Red Ninja challenges Gordon to a big ultimate ninja duel. Gordon does not respond, so Red Ninja kills another ninja for every month Gordon refuses to fight. Red Ninja finds all the other ninjas easily since everybody dresses like Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, practice moves in public parks, and sport head bands that read "Ninja." I pulled my "Film Critic" head band tighter, and continued watching this in awe. Red Ninja kills a few other ninjas, then sends Gordon the head bands, usually tied to a throwing star. Meanwhile, Billy's girlfriend, Lisa, tries to support Billy, but there are not any jobs around that require ninja skills. I am not exaggerating, there are many conversations about Billy's unmarketable abilities to fade into the night and carry out silent assassinations. Billy's mom is gunned down, he also loses various friends, and eventually Larry sends all of his machine gun toting henchmen after Billy. Billy doesn't rely on his ninja skills too much once he learns how to fire a gun. And what of Gordon? Gordon receives letters from Billy before his eventual showdown with the Red Ninja. By now, you may have noticed the pattern. Gordon and Billy never appear in the same scene together. We have Gordon's story, obviously filmed later, as he receives these letters, but Billy never mentions Gordon, just Ninja Training School; ah, good ol' NTS, they have a fantastic liberal arts program, and those frat parties!

The dubbing is atrocious- absolutely hilarious. Since this is two different stories, the film has no overall pacing. It also cost about twelve bucks to shoot. With all the machine guns and swordplay, there is not a drop of blood to be seen. The action is laughable, and this does not even score on an exploitation level, since everyone keeps their shirts on. The actor who plays Billy sports a mustache in every other scene, so I did not recognize him half the time. "The Ninja Squad" is awful. I got a couple of these kung-fu/ninja videos at a previously viewed video sale, and I think my ninety-five cents may have been better spent on gum.

Not so supreme power ninja battle technique...kind of thing

[Bezenby · 5/10 · 23 March 2009]

I'm pretty sure that Godfrey Ho is from outer space. His ninja movies are so utterly WRONG in every way that the only explanation must be that a being from Jupiter or wherever has taking a liking to martial arts films and thought to itself 'You know, I'm gonna try my hand at this, and no one will ever know the difference'.

Well, I know Godfrey...I know. Only a being with a passing knowledge of human life could create a film like this. And while I'm on the subject I reckon Bruno Mattei may have been from the same planet.

Ninja Squad may not be as insane as Ninja Terminator or Golden Ninja Warrior, but it tries. First off - the ninja story. Ivan the Red is trying to goad Richard Harrison into fighting for supreme ninja power or something, but Richard's busy picking a new carpet, so instead Ivan goes off killing other ninjas and stealing their special issue Ninja headbands. That's the ninja story.

The other story involves Billy, who has been trained in Ultimate Ninja Technique, returning home to take on the mob who are harrassing his mother and possible his sister. That's the Billy story.

Sadly, Billy's story is boring. Cheerily, the dubbing actually surpasses the other ninja movies I've mentioned. It's appears to me that it was dubbed live by folks who had no idea what was happening on screen. It has to be seen to be believed. For instance, someone approaches Billy and says 'I know where they're keeping your sister', and five minutes later someone else appears and say 'You sister has been kidnapped'...guh? As the ninja antics are more run of the mill than usual (although the acting is outstanding...ly bad), the dubbing is all this ninja movie has going for it.

The weakest of the ninja flicks I've watched so far. I've got another five or six to go - bye bye brain cells!

A diabolical must see!

[alexander_moran · 1/10 · 19 June 2008]

Its called The Ninja Squad...where's the ninja squad in this film? All we see are individual ninjas cruising round fighting each other, because they've got nothing else to do besides meditate and wave their swords around to the same individual sound effect. Then again I bought this film for a pound; so what do you expect? We see the protagonist, Billy, being trained as a young boy to become the world's greatest ninja. After several shots of generic ninja training Billy has become a grown man and an ultimate ninja! Then he starts complaining about how he can't get a job, as there's little work for ninjas in his hometown. Its an unwritten rule that ninja's financial issues aren't addressed in ninja films, but maybe director Godfrey Ho was trying to kick some realism into the formula. If he did, it fell flat on its face with the dubbed Australian and Texas accents against the faces of people clearly from an Asian background. But at least Billy is inconspicuous. His fellow ninjas parade round in what looks like cheap, camp, fancy dress, with a headband bearing the title'ninja', just to clarify. Its terrible. This is why I love this film and you have to watch it!!!

So funny you may actually die

[demon_dog_McDonnely · 10/10 · 6 August 2005]

This has to be one of the most hilarious films I have ever watched. It consists of two stories - Billy the Ninja has to battle some gangsters, while Gordon the Ninja has to defeat some other ninja who wants to kill every other ninja to prove he's the best. There is a lot of "ninja" in this film. Highlights included the fantastic Ninja headbands (all ninjas need a headband that announces their ninja status), the ninja shell suits, the urban cameo ninja and the screamingly funny dialogue - "Bully, what are you going to do about work? I don't think your ninja skills will help you find a job." Ah yes, a common problem for young ninjas. I think this film would be best viewed while drunk.

A bizarre, very cheaply made film, but very amusing in an eighties sort of way.

[prettyboytim · 6/10 · 28 February 2001]

'Ninja Squad' is a truly bizarre film. There are two main plots - the main one being about Billy, a trainee ninja who appears to live somewhere in Indonesia and whose family is being terrorised by some gangsters. He has spent the last 10 years training as a ninja under 'The Master Ninja' who, oddly enough, is a blond-haired elderly white guy in a bright pink and silver shellsuit. In fact, all the ninjas (apart from billy) are all caucasian and all wear brightly coloured shellsuits and bands across their foreheads that say 'ninja'. An evil ninja called 'Red Ivan' is going around killing ninjas to try and prove he's better than 'The Master'. 'Red Ivan', by the way, has a bright red and gold jumpsuit.

In the 'Billy' parts of the film, there isn't all that much hand-to-hand fighting - more of it is pitched gun battles. The brightly-coloured ninja bits have lots of slow-motion sword battles in them, but they're ultimately rather unsatisfying as the effects budget obviously didn't reach to fake blood.

All in all a rather odd film (with a very bizarre ending) which was quite obviously a foreign film with some weird ninja stuff tacked on. Quite enjoyable, though.

Another low budget cheesy Ninja flick

[Rautus · 10/10 · 14 February 2008]

The Ninja Squad is another Godfrey Ho Ninja flick that's so bad it's entertaining like the previous ones and the ones that came later. The Ninja squad is entertaining for several reasons, one is that the Ninja's costumes all have headbands with the word "Ninja" on, it's like they're pointing the obvious to the audience, another thing is that the Ninja's are all white males, no Japaniese Ninja's just white Ninja's which is funny since the Ninja originated from Japan so you'd think they'd have some Ninja's from Japan. Another thing is that the main character Billy has spent all this time being a Ninja yet he doesn't even dress up or use any Ninja skills, he just beats them up or uses Machine guns. The reason for this is simple, apparently Godfrey and Joespeh Lai found reels of unreleased Hong Kong movies so to make a quick bit if money they shot some Ninja scenes and edited it in to other films then re-dubbed the unreleased movie they was using to make it like it was connected to their Ninja movie, it does make sense since why does the films always have a Ninja plot and a non Ninja plot, wouldn't it just have one plot like American Ninja. That was a very interesting bit of information I found out because it does make more sense when watching these Godfrey Ho Ninja movies. One thing you've got to put your hats up for is Richard Harrison, he's been in so many of these Ninja movies I lost count. He must of been a good sport to star in these low budget movies, he must of known they were cheesy but he still did a great job and starred in them. Later he stated that it made him feel like a prostitute but he was in that many you can't blame him, most of them was shot in the same year.

The film sees a young boy named Billy training with Ninja Master Gordon (Played by the great Richard Harrison.), years later Billy returns home to his family. Billy needs to find a job since being a Ninja doesn't qualify as a paying job, it makes you wonder why Billy decided to spend all that time training with Gordon if he's told to get a proper job but again the whole Billy plot was from another movie. Meanwhile Gordon gets a threat from a Ninja named Ivan the Red who challenges him, he declines so Ivan then goes around killing other Ninja's to make him the ultimate Ninja Warrior. The Ninja's in this movie get killed way to easy, just a slice in they're stomach and they're dead and the funny thing is there's no blood. I guess they couldn't afford fake blood effects, there are some movies where a guy gets stabbed and he's still alive. Anyway Billy meets a group of thugs and beats them up and so because of that the kill his mother so Billy decides to get his revenge, Billy also has other problem since his girlfriend's father doesn't like her being with him since "He's a Ninja and a very dangerous man." Ivan the Red keeps discarding these Ninja's until he gets to fight Gordon then he will try and kill Billy, Gordon gets ready to face Ivan the Red and stop him from becoming the ultimate Ninja Warrior.

The Ninja Sqaud is another cheesy, low budget Ninja movie that's entertainingly funny and should be seen if you're in the mood for a laugh at some Z-grade fun. Check this out. 10/10

Billy the ninja looks for a job.......

[HaemovoreRex · 8/10 · 31 August 2005]

Richard Harrison returns once again (albeit unwittingly if you know the history behind these films) as a ninja master yet again named Gordon (but ostensibly not the same character in each film)

At the inception of the movie we see Gordon training a young student named Billy in the ancient warrior art and explaining to him it's historical origins. The film then inexplicably jumps forward in time some years to when Billy is grown up (and strangely sporting an Australian accent!) and has returned to his native home (The Phillipines?) where he manages to get on the wrong side of a gang of heavies and their vicious boss who are extorting money from the villagers amongst other criminal activities.

If you're familiar with the 'Cut and Paste' 'Masterpieces' synonymous with the names of director Godfrey Ho and producer Joseph Lai then you'll know exactly what to expect here.

The segments showing the 'grown up' Billy in this film are in fact footage taken from a completely separate film with the newer footage of Harrison's character and the other ninjas spliced into it at irregular intervals.

Anyway, back to the 'plot' at hand....

Whilst Billy is experiencing problems involving the gangsters, Gordon is having some trouble of his own in the form of an evil Ninja calling himself Ivan the Red (Dave Wheeler) whose aim is to challenge Gordon to combat in order to prove his fighting supremacy and to wrest the supreme 'ninja power' from him. When Gordon initially refuses to participate in any such confrontation Ivan resorts to challenging and subsequently killing other ninja in order to goad Gordon into battle.

Having dispatched of each opponent Ivan removes their (rather crappy) Ninja headbands which he then sends to Gordon as proof of his kill (although I've seen exactly the same crappy Ninja Headbands for sale for about £2.00 in martial arts shops so he might as well have bought a few from there and saved himself some hassle)

Finally Gordon is forced to accept the challenge to stop the bloodshed (although as per usual with these films despite ninja being sliced/stabbed etc there is not one drop of the red stuff in sight!!!) I'm sure that you can guess the final outcome.

What can I say about this film?

Well the acting/dubbing is atrocious and to call the link between the ninja footage and the footage involving the character of Billy as tenuous would be overly complimentary (it's completely none existent!)....so in other words it's all brilliant fun!

If (like me) you are into bad movies then you'll no doubt be able to derive a good laugh from this one.

The fight scenes are especially energetic here with lot's of flips and acrobatics and oh, did I mention that our hero wears a pink ninja uniform? Hmmmm intriguing indeed.....

Richard Harrison fan club

[foolfm · 28 October 2004]

This film is one of Richard Harrison's (blonde Ninja) "just add Ninja" films - where some money minded martial artists buy an incomplete Asian martial arts film then add some extra ninja scenes and sell it to us saps in the west.

But i gota admit THIS FILM IS FUNNY and your kind of glad when billy dies...

Check out Richard Harrison's Biography(on this site) for a very interesting tale.

Also of interest is the film " Golden Ninja Warrior" not to be confused with "Ninja Terminator", in fact watch all three of these films and you can actually see the change from all action Ninja films to disturbingly misogynistic exploitation. And that some people just don't learn from their mistakes.

Movie drugs

[BandSAboutMovies · 8/10 · 30 May 2023]

A ninja named Billy - who is really from a Filipino movie made two years before this called Hatulan si baby angustia - has been training with a ninja master named Gordon (Richard Harrison, in the same footage that was supposedly for one film and ended up being ten or more). But now as it is time to return home and see his family again, Gordon will have to deal with another issue. Ivan the Red (Dave Wheeler) is a power-mad ninja so desperate to fight him that he has started to kill every fighter in the Ninja Empire. To draw him out, he uses Billy and his family, sending thugs to kidnap his sister and kill his mother. Billy had hoped to leave the world of the ninja behind. Now, he has no choice.

Again, like all of Godfrey Ho's movie, we're trapped between two worlds. In one, Harrison and many multicolored ninjas with headbands that helpfully inform us that they are, indeed, ninja fight one another with somersaults and swords. In the other, we're in the tough streets and watching a young man in love with a cop's daughter try and join the force, only to learn that even the father of the woman he loves is corrupt. It's down, dirty and depressing, like the New Hollywood speaking in Tagalog.

If you already know that only a ninja can kill a ninja, this film will teach you a new lesson: if you are born a ninja, you die a ninja. I am slowly making my way through the Godfrey Ho Cinematic Universe and trying to put together the connective tissue between these films. I realize that he was just cranking them out with no concern for how they connect. But you know how when your brain has to figure out how to survive a traumatic accident it blocks things out or invents a new reality for you? That's what I'm doing, trying to keep my blown brain inside my head and attempting to figure out how all of these unite to create one overall saga.

If there's one universal thing about these movies, other than ninja and senseless combination of unconnected cinema, it's the mindblowing soundtrack. This time, "Hu" by Dif Juz, is in the film. They were an English instrumental post-punk band, formed in London and active from 1980 to 1986. Members included Gary Bromley on bass, Richard Thomas on percussion and saxophone and the Curtis brothers, Dave and Alan, on guitars. For a brief time, Alan was in Duran Duran and the band also served as backup for Lee Scratch Perry. Signed to 4AD, they were also close with the Cocteau Twins and members collaborated with Wolfgang Press.

Speaking of the Cocteau Twins, their songs "Wax and Wane" and "Song to the Siren" are in this, as are "Medusa" by Clan of Xymox and The Human League's "Human," which was written and produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, former members of The Time. They'd just finished Janet Jackson's Control record, which I heartily recommend.

Also, thanks to David Assassino, I learned that some of the Edgar Froese score to Fassbinder's Kamikaze 1989 is in this.

I have no idea why all this synth pop ends up in ninja movies but as always, I am not complaining.

Wow who would have thought that ninja headbands were so cool!

[str0ntiumd0g · 16 February 2004]

****WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!****

Oh boy what can I say about this movie. It killed me to watch this, both because it is awful to watch and as a result it is amazingly funny. It is also incredibly confusing. There are two stories in this movie that have almost nothing to do with each other and barely impact on each other and then the film just ends.

On one side is Billy and his quest for vengeance against some local drug dealers who killed his mother and kidnapped his sister. Now Billy is a terrible ninja. In fact he barely does anything ninja-like whatsoever, unless you call using semi-automatic weapons and getting gunned down by the police at the end.

The other story involves Billy's master, Gordon and another ninja called Ivan the Red. Now this is just plain silly.Gordon won't fight Ivan to begin with so Ivan decides to kill one ninja a month to persuade him to change his mind. First of all, what's with these dumb names? Gordon the ninja!? What!? How is that in any way meant to instill fear in an enemy? No offence to anyone called Gordon but if you were going to be a ninja, change your name to something a bit cooler. Next of all how can the ninjas in this movie meant to be inconspicuous with those outfits? The two main ninjas in this film have a load of tinfoil on them! Shiny!. The next thing I noticed is that all the ninjas are all middle-aged European dudes. Not one Asian ninja among them. Now the ending of this movie just sucked big time. The ninjas fought for like thirty seconds, the good guy won and then it ended. That's it! No more!

On the plus side there are two really shining moments in this film for me. First is the always good dubbing. Method actors these guys are not. Any more wooden and I would have got splinters in my eyes from watching. The other is the headbands. Every ninja in this movie has a headband on that says ninja. What is that all about? Do they think that we need to be told that they are ninjas? The masks, sharp pointy weapons and ability to kill people stealthily kind of gave that away. Maybe it's an advertising thing. Sponsored by ninja...

Cool.

Now where can I buy one of those cool headbands....