Forest Whitaker credited as playing...
Ker
- Ker: I don't know what you're so down about. You still get to be head of security, which, from what I can tell, is a pretty cushy job.
- Terl: Well, I can assure you that I was not groomed since birth to have some cushy job that even a moron like you could perform. While you were still learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME, I was being trained to conquer GALAXIES! To do anything less is a disgrace to my entire family line.
- Terl: Ker, I'd like you to meet Chirk.
- [Ker grunts appreciatively]
- Terl: She's, um... she's, um...
- Chirk: His soon-to-be newly acquired secretary.
- Terl: Yes.
- Ker: [eagerly] Really?
- Terl: [quietly, to Ker] She's stupid enough not to be a menace, good-looking enough to be decorative; she gets drunk with economical speed...
- Terl: [normal voice] ... and has other advantages.
- [Chirk extends her very long tongue]
- Ker: Ooh. I can see that.
- Zete: Home office is well aware of your academic achievements and obvious talents. That's why we decided not to keep you here for another 5 cycles.
- [Terl laughs in relief]
- Ker: [joining in the laughter] It's a joke!
- Terl: Oh, thank you sir. I don't know if I could have kept my sanity to be here another 5 cycles.
- Zete: We've decided to keep you here for another 50 cycles! With endless options for renewal!
- [echoing as the camera zooms in on Terl]
- Zete: With endless options for renewal! With endless options for renewal!
- [Zete laughs maniacally. Sound fades out, slow motion as Terl looks at Zete and the Planetship and his assistant laughing and sneering at him]
- Zete: [echo effect] Those options, of course...
- [echo ends]
- Zete: Those options, of course, being at home office's discretion, not yours. The senator... has a lot of friends.
- [echo]
- Zete: Has a lot of friends.
- Ker: The photo is from last week's recon drone. It shows a rock slide in the mountains, it exposed a gold vein.
- Terl: And you were waiting for me to be transferred so you could turn it in and get all the credit for yourself.
- Ker: I didn't think you'd mind.
- Terl: I don't mind. Turn it in. But before you do, pretend that you're not a complete imbecile and check the compo-gradients.
- [Ker inserts the photographic tablet into a computer]
- Ker: The mountain's full of uranium. No Psychlo could get there without his breath gas exploding. There's no way to mine the gold.
- [Terl starts beating Ker with a metal rod]
- Terl: But what I do mind is that you betrayed me over a lousy recon photo!
- Ker: But it's worthless, you said so yourself!
- Terl: But you didn't know it was worthless!
- [Ker has made a recording of Terl discussing how he's going to keep the gold a secret from his superiors]
- Ker: I've been thinking, 80/20 is a pretty fair distribution of the gold. But I should get the 80 percent. And with my share, I'm going to fire all my wives and buy new ones. Maybe pretty ones this time. Kerbango?
- Terl: Congratulations. You've finally learned how to get proper leverage over someone, haven't you?
- Ker: Uh-huh.
- Terl: Which means I haven't wasted my time trying to train you, have I?
- Ker: You're not upset?
- Terl: Oh, don't be crazy! Do you know how long I've waited for this day? And I know just the perfect way to celebrate.
- [he pulls out his gun]
- Ker: [laughing] What are you doing? You can't shoot me. I made a copy, and gave it to someone for safekeeping. You are just too good of a teacher.
- Terl: How about giving your old teacher a clue as to who this might be?
- Ker: You insult yourself, sir. You know you taught me better than that.
- Terl: Well, how the hell am I supposed to know who it is?
- Ker: [laughing] I don't know.
- Terl: I mean, it could be anybody on this damn planet. It could be a mechanic...
- Ker: No.
- Terl: It could be a concubine...
- Ker: No, no, no, no!
- Terl: It could be anybody in the communications office.
- Ker: Wrong!
- Terl: I hate these things, I feel like... like it's a test that I'm not prepared for! Well, hell, it could even be...
- [he pulls out a severed head]
- Terl: Our friendly bartender!
- [he points his gun at Ker]
- Ker: Please. I made a mistake.
- [Terl blows one of Ker's hands off]
- Ker: But we have to pay the new workers.
- Assistant Planetship: Maybe you were absent the day they taught economics at the academy, Ker, but nobody works for free.
- Terl: Man-animals do. What if we were to train them how to mine?
- [the Planetship and his assistant laugh]
- Planetship: Man-animals operating machinery? Have you blown a head gasket? I will be the laughing stock of the universe!
- Terl: It is a pleasure to see you, your excellency, and I would be honored to expedite your clearance through security.
- Zete: Please, call me Zete. Does all of Earth look like this?
- Terl: Oh, I'm afraid so, sir.
- Zete: Pathetic. All the green and the blue sky. They told me this planet was ugly, but this has got to be one of the ugliest crap holes in the entire universe.
- Terl: I couldn't agree with you more.
- Zete: I hate these puny undersized planets. The gravity is so... different.
- Terl: Well, one does get used to it.
- Zete: And the human animals, grossly undersized.
- Ker: They don't make very good eating, your excellency.