Queer as Folk (1999–2000)

Aidan Gillen: Stuart Jones

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Roy has just rammed Stuart's car after spotting him kissing his son] 

  Stuart Alan Jones : What the fuck are you doing?

  Roy Maloney : Fifteen! That boy is fifteen!

  Stuart Alan Jones : So? The car is only six months old and you've still buggered it.

• Stuart Alan Jones : Where are you going?

  Vince Tyler : You've copped off!

  Stuart Alan Jones : I'm just getting his phone number, that's all!

  Phil Delaney : What did you do - swallow it?

• [Mimicking "Titanic"] 

  Stuart Alan Jones : I'm the king of the world!

  Vince : I'm always Kate Winslet!

• [Discussing the new baby's name] 

  Stuart Alan Jones : Vince, run a check on "Alfred."

  Vince Tyler : Alf Roberts; "Alfie," Michael Caine; "Alf," that American sitcom with the puppet - bit dodgy, but that's forgotten by the time he's in school, unless it's on cable... bet they've got it on Bravo. Oh... Alfred's the name of Batman's butler! Marvelous. Good name!

• Stuart Alan Jones : Right, do you want sex? Suppose I owe you a favour, come on then.

  Nathan : I didn't do it for a shag.

  Stuart Alan Jones : Nathan, that's all I've got to offer.

  Nathan : How many men have had sex in here?

  Stuart Alan Jones : 27 million.

• Romey Sullivan : [on answerphone]  Now, Stuart, don't panic. I'm in hospital, it's half past six Thursday night, the contractions have started, it's not a false alarm but don't worry ...

  Stuart Alan Jones : Fuck, I've got a baby!

• Stuart Alan Jones : Right, Nathan we're off. It's all getting a bit lesbian in here.

• Stuart Alan Jones : It's the exact opposite of child-birth, first you have the baby and then you get fucked.

• Stuart Alan Jones : He's a calendar, that kid, he's a clock, a great big stopwatch, staring me in the face. Cos he gets older. That's all he can do. Do you know what that means? I'm getting older. Look at me, is that old? That's not old. Can't get rid of him, twenty years time he'll still be there. Mind you they don't always live, meningitis - that's a good one!

• Stuart Alan Jones : My world's so fucking huge!