- Mills Lane: [to a litigant] ...What part of "Don't talk" don't you understand -the "Don't," or the "talk?"
- Mills Lane: [admonishing a couple of female litigants] ...Ladies, I want to be able to call you ladies.
- Mills Lane: [to a litigant] ... Here's my fluent Spanish for you: If you keep pushing it with me, I *guarantee* you're going to be EL GONE-O... EL QUICK-O... EL NOW-O!
- Mills Lane: [after ruling against a defendant] Now let me hear about your countersuit.
- Unknown defendant: Well, if he's gonna lie and say I hit him, then I'm just gonna lie and say he hit me back.
- Mills Lane: Come again?
- Unknown defendant: If he's gonna lie and say I hit him, then I'm just gonna lie and say he hit me back.
- Mills Lane: There goes the countersuit!