- Eddie: I'm going to follow that kid around until he grows up, and then I'm going to beat the tar out of him!
- Eddie's Wife: All I can say is anyone with that much washing must be awfully dirty!
- Wally's Wife: Oh! So we're awfully dirty, are we?
- [swings to hit her with a wet towel but hits Eddie instead]
- Junior: Attaboy Mom! Hit him again, I'll get you a real wet one!
- Eddie: [Wally has a large egg on his head from being hit with a baseball] Now I sent Jr. for a new pane of glass.
- Wally: A pane of glass? That ain't gonna fix my head.
- Eddie: Well I'll fix it up for you, just like Mother used to fix my bumps. Now just sit right there and relax.
- [picks up a cement trowel]
- Wally: What're you going to do with that?
- Eddie: In a couple of days you won't know anything happened.
- [presses the trowel against the egg and hits it several times, removes the trowel and the egg is gone]
- Eddie: There you go, your head's as flat as it ever was.
- Wally: That settles it, I'm going to buy a home of my own so I won't be bothered by pestly neighbors like you.
- Eddie: That's just what I'm going to do, I'm going to buy a home of my own so I don't have to live next door to scum of the earth like you.
- Wally: Scum? Who' you calling scum?
- Eddie: You, that's what you are, S-C-UM scum! That's you!
- Eddie: I bought this house last week from the Fleeceum Realty Company.
- Wally: You must be dreaming, I bought the place from the same company and I can prove it.
- Eddie: Yeah you can prove it, go ahead.
- Wally: [dials the phone] Hello? I wanna talk to Mr. Fleecem. say this is the Sheriff? Oh no! That Fleecum's a crook, he's wanted by the police all over the nation, he sold us both the same house, took the money and skipped out of town!
- Eddie: Possession is 9/10ths of the law and I'm staying here!
- Wally: Oh no you're not!