The Batman Superman Movie: World's Finest (1997 TV Movie)

Arleen Sorkin: Dr. Harleen Quinzel, Harley Quinn

Quotes 

• [Joker's plane crashes into the sea and explodes] 

  Harley Quinn : Puddin'!

  Batman : At this point, he probably is.

• [Harley's driving Lex Luthor's limo] 

  Harley Quinn : Whoa, momma, check out the cute hitchhiker!

  The Joker : [hitchhiking and showing off his gams]  Yoo-hoo!

• [Mercy is watching Harley Quinn, on TV, being tossed into a padded wagon in a straightjacket] 

  Harley Quinn : I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!

  Mercy Graves : Now that's funny! Ha, ha, ha!

• Lex Luthor : [grabs Joker]  You maniac! You idiot! How dare you use one of my laboratories for your...?

  Joker : Harley?

  [Harley somersaults out and strikes a ridiculous fighting stance] 

  Harley Quinn : Put him down, baldy!

  Lex Luthor : Mercy?

  [Mercy slams a flying kick into Harley] 

  Mercy Graves : Here's for that punch in the face!

  Joker : [to Luthor]  Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?

  [Luthor reluctantly releases Joker, while sounds of fighting continue in the background] 

  Harley Quinn : Ooh, listen to Little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke!

  [as Joker guides Luthor to a chair, Mercy goes flying across the room] 

  Joker : Thank you. Have a seat, please.

  [as they sit, Harley charges across the room] 

  Harley Quinn : BANZAI!

• Harley Quinn : [playing with a Batman-shaped cookie while trying to cheer up Joker]  Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman. Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!

  Joker : [breaks the cookie]  I know you're trying to cheer me up, Harley. But you see, anytime I blow a billion dollar deal, *it really kills my appetite*!

• [first lines] 

  Harley Quinn : Hang on there, Clyde!

  Pawn Shop Broker : Sorry, miss, we're closed.

  Harley Quinn : Just look at what I'm selling! You'll plotz!

• Lex Luthor : The office, now.

  Harley Quinn : Swell, Mr. L.

  Lex Luthor : Mr. L?

• Lois Lane : [to The Joker]  You sick, demented, murdering freak!

  Harley Quinn : [gasp]  How rude!

• Harley Quinn : [holding a gingerbread Batman cookie]  Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman! Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!

• [as Luthor and Joker finish their discussion, Mercy and Harley are still pounding each other's heads on the floor] 

  Lex Luthor : Mercy, let's go!

  [to Joker] 

  Lex Luthor : Keep in mind, this is your last chance.

  [He walks out. Mercy limps after him, groaning. Harley limps over to Joker, also groaning] 

  Joker : How you doin', slugger?

  Harley Quinn : A-okay, Mr. J!

  [He pats her on the shoulder. She collapses]