The Batman Superman Movie: World's Finest (1997 TV Movie)

Mark Hamill: The Joker

Quotes 

• Joker : Pay me one billion dollars, and I'll kill Superman!

  Lex Luthor : [chuckles]  What makes you think you can kill Superman when you can't even handle a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?

  Joker : [seizes Luthor by his jacket]  There's nothing mere about that mortal!

• [Harley's driving Lex Luthor's limo] 

  Harley Quinn : Whoa, momma, check out the cute hitchhiker!

  The Joker : [hitchhiking and showing off his gams]  Yoo-hoo!

• [to Bruce Wayne, on dating Lois Lane] 

  The Joker : My, you do live dangerously. Don't you realize you're moving in on Superman's main squeeze?

• [Superman has just broken in on the Joker] 

  The Joker : More powerful than a locomotive... and just about as subtle.

• Joker : Ceasar Carlini, my old pal! Why I haven't seen you since... wait, I've never seen you, have I? You need to get out more.

• The Joker : I sense we are kindred spirits, you and I. Oh, there are differences, to be sure... like hair.

  [Chuckles and pat's Luthor's bald head] 

• [Bruce Wayne topples over the edge of a skyscraper] 

  The Joker : See that he's street pizza! In this town, some flying fool could have caught him!

• The Joker : Oh, this could be a fair fight after all! And who wants to see that?

• Lex Luthor : [grabs Joker]  You maniac! You idiot! How dare you use one of my laboratories for your...?

  Joker : Harley?

  [Harley somersaults out and strikes a ridiculous fighting stance] 

  Harley Quinn : Put him down, baldy!

  Lex Luthor : Mercy?

  [Mercy slams a flying kick into Harley] 

  Mercy Graves : Here's for that punch in the face!

  Joker : [to Luthor]  Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?

  [Luthor reluctantly releases Joker, while sounds of fighting continue in the background] 

  Harley Quinn : Ooh, listen to Little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke!

  [as Joker guides Luthor to a chair, Mercy goes flying across the room] 

  Joker : Thank you. Have a seat, please.

  [as they sit, Harley charges across the room] 

  Harley Quinn : BANZAI!

• Joker : Look at all the toys! Santa's been to to you, Lex!

• Harley Quinn : [playing with a Batman-shaped cookie while trying to cheer up Joker]  Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman. Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!

  Joker : [breaks the cookie]  I know you're trying to cheer me up, Harley. But you see, anytime I blow a billion dollar deal, *it really kills my appetite*!

• [the Joker sees Batman fly towards him with a jetpack] 

  The Joker : Copy-bat! Copy-bat! Suffering from propulsion envy, Batboy?

• [as Luthor and Joker finish their discussion, Mercy and Harley are still pounding each other's heads on the floor] 

  Lex Luthor : Mercy, let's go!

  [to Joker] 

  Lex Luthor : Keep in mind, this is your last chance.

  [He walks out. Mercy limps after him, groaning. Harley limps over to Joker, also groaning] 

  Joker : How you doin', slugger?

  Harley Quinn : A-okay, Mr. J!

  [He pats her on the shoulder. She collapses] 

• [after the Batplane buzzes the Lexwing] 

  Joker : Batman! It's always Batman! What you got in the way of air-to-air missiles, Lex?

  Lex Luthor : You're asking *me* for help?

  Joker : If I go down, you go down.

  Lex Luthor : It's a red switch.

  Joker : Which red...? Oh, the heck with it!

  [he jabs buttons at random] 

• Joker : [rubbing the seat in Lex Luthor's limo]  Ooo, rich Corinthian Leather!

• Joker : [activating a Wayne-Lex T-7 to attack Batman]  Think of it as a welcome wagon, Bats. Welcoming you to the nearest mortuary!

  [the robot fires a laser while Joker cackles evilly]