Highway (I) (2002)
Jake Gyllenhaal: Pilot
Photos
Quotes
-
Pilot Kelson : Pop Quiz.
Jack Hayes : No.
Pilot Kelson : Come on. It's a quick one.
Jack Hayes : Go.
Pilot Kelson : What is 1,056 dicks?
Jack Hayes : A lot of dicks.
Pilot Kelson : Beep. Perfect Score. Gold star.
-
Jack Hayes : Pop quiz.
Pilot Kelson : Go.
Jack Hayes : How much I owe you for helping me out?
Pilot Kelson : A gazillion.
Jack Hayes : Who's the major old-school happener?
Pilot Kelson : Piiilot.
Jack Hayes : How much longer we a team?
Pilot Kelson : Forever.
Jack Hayes : Beep... perfect score, gold star.
-
Pilot Kelson : You are one daffy invididual!
-
Pilot Kelson : I like it... Hit the road, flee for your life, meet a doll who's got "once and a lifetime girl of my dreams and reason to believe" written all over her like so much graffiti. It could only happen to the god of fuck.
-
Jack Hayes : Can we just have 15 minutes of fun in our fucking miserable lives?
Pilot Kelson : Famous last words...
-
Cassie : That's pretty pathetic in my book.
Pilot Kelson : In your book? And what's the title of that book? Is it called 'Give Me A Hundred Bucks And I'll Suck Your Dick'? Cause I think I read that one, and it was... ooh... lurid.
-
Pilot Kelson : [after the alligator boy screams] That be a cry laden with pain and sorrow
-
Pilot Kelson : Desmond the alligator boy is a major happener
-
Pilot Kelson : When you think about it, the world is divided into 2 groups... pandas and alligator boys
-
Jack Hayes : You bang her yet man?
Pilot Kelson : Not even close... if "Bangher" was an island off the coast of the Carribean, me and Lucy are stuck in traffic in Jersey
-
Pilot Kelson : [telling Jack that the whore thought Pilot was sexually confused] Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you?
-
Pilot Kelson : So, it was cool, you know? I told her about my troubles and she was like, 'sexual confusion's a tricky thing'. Sexual confusion? I mean, easy on the sexual confusion tip, baby. You make me sound like a guy in a raincoat with a fistful of vaseline, you know?
[laughs]
Pilot Kelson : Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you...?
-
Pilot Kelson : This is Jack Hayes, the God of Fuck!
Shanks : [turns to Jack] Is that what they call you? The God of Fuck? Tell me something... do you like to get fucked?