Mit dir geteilt
- Ryan Stiles: [Meer of Grufunkastan - Impossible Mission] We're gonna need some type of detergent.
- Colin Mochrie: Detergent, Detergent... the cat! No that's no good!
- Ryan Stiles: Wait a minute, bars of soap there's nothing but bars of soap. But where gonna have to agitate it in some way.
- Colin Mochrie: [Colin gets in the tub] Give me the beans.
- Ryan Stiles: It's working! It's clean!
- Colin Mochrie: It's taking to long! The Snackipark of Imar will be hear.
- Ryan Stiles: We've gotta dry it ourselves... what?
- [Ryan begins hysterically laughing]
- Colin Mochrie: The cat!
- Ryan Stiles: The cat, stop it with the cat...
- [Ryan is hysterically laughing again]
- Colin Mochrie: It's clean. Bring me some fabric softener.
- Ryan Stiles: [through laughing fits] Fabric softener?
- Colin Mochrie: Well, you can't have static cling. The burnoose will stick to it's thing! The cat!
- [Ryan's laughing hysterically]
- Colin Mochrie: Is anyone coming?
- Ryan Stiles: [laughing] No.
- Colin Mochrie: It's perfect, it's perfect
- Ryan Stiles: Good!
- Colin Mochrie: You better model it!
- Ryan Stiles: Oh, it fell in the water again! The cat!
- Colin Mochrie: The cat's wet now!
- Colin Mochrie: Wait, give me a match!
- [lights the burnoose on fire]
- Colin Mochrie: Oh, man!
- Colin Mochrie: It's ok I have an extra burnoose!
- Ryan Stiles: [buzzer] I can't stop laughing!
- Ryan Stiles: [songs of the motorcycle] Hi.
- Colin Mochrie: Hi...
- Ryan Stiles: How are you?
- Colin Mochrie: Fine...
- Ryan Stiles: We don't know what you're watching. So we're not going to tell you we're going to return you to it.
- Colin Mochrie: Oh we... we're watching animal porn!
- [realizes what said and covers his face briefly. Buzz]
- Colin Mochrie: Mary Had a Little Lamb we'll be right back in just a second...
- Audience members: [Buzz. the audience members, Drew Wayne and Jeff start to laugh. Close up on Colin]
- Colin Mochrie: I'm sorry, I apologize.
- Ryan Stiles: [laughing continues] So happy, "We're watching animal porn!"
- Drew Carey: Now let's go on to a game called "African Chant". As we know, Africa's a big country...
- [Greg starts laughing]
- Greg Proops: Or a *continent*, if you're a geographer.
- Colin Mochrie: [Weird Newscasters] Today, convicted hitman Jimmy Two-Shoes McClarty admitted that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police reports indicate that this may be the only known case of a Knick-Knack Paddy Whack.
- Drew Carey: [Scenes from a hat] Bad causes to raise money for.
- Ryan Stiles: Give Drew Carey a third show? Anyone?
- Colin Mochrie: Bathe the whales!
- Ryan Stiles: [after being told by the censor that they couldn't make fun of Hitler, the cast do a hoedown about directors] Our director, he really is the boss / For yelling and screaming, he's never at a loss. / He's the meanest guy that you will ever see / He should sprout a mustache and move to Germany.
- Colin Mochrie: [Scenes from a hat - Ending a long term relationship in song] You are dead to me, nothing but scum. When I look in your eyes I get inflammation of the bum. You make me feel putrid, I hate the...
- [He's lead away by Ryan]
- Colin Mochrie: [Scenes from a hat - discussions that ruin a dinner party] -So then my colon is lying on my chest. I wake up in the middle of the surgery, I acidentally swallow half of it! How did that happen, I'm wondering. Well then all of a sudden, that's when the laxative hits! So I'm LYING there, wondering how the heck am I gonna get out of this?...
- [Ryan pulls him offstage]
- Drew Carey: Bad places to find advertising.
- [Ryan pantomimes looking over Colin while he's peeing]
- Drew Carey: Must not have had a lot to say...
- [audience boos]
- Drew Carey: I regret saying that, because the next card says "Little known, but amazing facts about Drew Carey".
- Colin Mochrie: I have no sense of length.
- Wayne Brady: When I'm with a woman, I go "Wooooooooo!"
- Ryan Stiles: Did you know at first Drew Carey turned *down* the role of Geppetto?
- [Film Noir game, set in gas station]
- Colin Mochrie: [voiceover] He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye and had that sort of milky film over the other one. You know? You know what I mean? But still, he was my identical twin. It had taken me eight years to track him down to this gas station.
- [speaking]
- Colin Mochrie: Jed? It's me, Phil.
- Ryan Stiles: [speaking] I recognize the voice.
- [voiceover]
- Ryan Stiles: As I was looking right up his dress, I knew who it was.
- [gets up, speaking]
- Ryan Stiles: Long time, no see.
- Colin Mochrie: [voiceover] Yeah. Last time I saw him, he tried to murder me. But when you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling them up in a carpet, and burning it, you'd better make sure they're dead.
- Ryan Stiles: [speaking] What brings you by?
- Colin Mochrie: [speaking] I came by for my part of the inheritance. Nice gas station you opened up.
- Ryan Stiles: [speaking] Thanks.
- [voiceover]
- Ryan Stiles: Apparently he'd forgotten why he was kicked out of town in the first place. The sheriff caught him giving his wife a lube job in late November. I wasn't going to bring it up again, I knew it was a touchy subject for him.
- [speaking]
- Ryan Stiles: Haven't seen you since the lube job.
- Colin Mochrie: [speaking] Hey! Come on! What the hell? Never mention that again!
- [Newsflash- Colin is reporting on images of himself]
- Colin Mochrie: [when asked how all this got started] This all started with a badly timed bald joke.
- [audience laughs hysterically]
- [quick change]
- Ryan Stiles: You see this badge? That means I'm the sheriff.
- Wayne Brady: Change.
- Ryan Stiles: You see this thong?...
- [bursts out laughing]
- Wayne Brady: Change.
- Ryan Stiles: You see these sandals? That means someone stole my boots.
- [Newsflash- Colin is reporting on bikini girls]
- Colin Mochrie: [not aware that he's pointing between a woman's breasts] I'm going to stick my nose in there, and make sure I get every bit of it!
- [audience laughs hysterically]
- Greg Proops: [Hats, in a rabbit mask] I'm not into protection
- Drew Carey: Say it again... I don't think they heard you.
- Greg Proops: Oh, could no one hear me? Maybe it's because of this fucking mask I'm wearing.
- Drew Carey: Famous movie roles as played by Carol Channing
- Ryan Stiles: I know what you're thinking. Did I fire seven shots or six? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this confusion, I forgotten myself. So you have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky? Well do you, punk?
- Robin Williams: Well surely you must be the son of God!
- Ryan Stiles: I'm Spartacus!
- Drew Carey: If celebrities had been the first people to walk on the moon.
- Brad Sherwood: One small step for man, one giant leap for me, Brad Sherwood. How are ya?
- Drew Carey: [as Brad sets off-stage] Sorry, I said... I said, "celebrities."
- Brad Sherwood: Oh, I'm sorry.
- [the audience groans, then he starts whining]
- Brad Sherwood: That was mean!
- Wayne Brady: [as Michael Jackson, moonwalking] Hooo!
- Colin Mochrie: Where's my car?
- Ryan Stiles: [as Carol Channing] Well this is dry and barren as I am.
- Ryan Stiles: [Narrate-Barbershop-about Colin] I knew he wasn't here for a haircut. Though, if he was, it wasn't going to take that long.
- [World's Worst Neighbor]
- Ryan Stiles: Excuse me, I'm tapped into your cable. Would you mind changing it to channel 8?
- Drew Carey: [Scenes from a Hat] Bad first lines of medical ads.
- Colin Mochrie: Ever wonder how food becomes poo?
- Greg Proops: Been decapitated recently?
- [Scenes from a hat]
- Drew Carey: Okay. Let's start out with...
- [pulls out paper]
- Drew Carey: No... no.
- [puts paper back and picks a new one]
- Drew Carey: "Bad choices for pets."
- Brad Sherwood: Here velocipraptor! Here velo-
- [Colin comes and pretends to bite his neck]
- Ryan Stiles: [whistles] Where's my little tapeworm? Huh?
- Drew Carey: Okay.
- [clears throat]
- Drew Carey: "Strange things to find in your bed."
- Wayne Brady: Colin?
- [Colin pops his head up]
- Wayne Brady: Ahhhhhhh!
- Colin Mochrie: Teach me how to sing like you!
- Ryan Stiles: [Ryan pops his head up] What's his problem?
- Colin Mochrie: I don't know!
- Drew Carey: Oh, okay. Uh, "dangerous things to do while you are naked."
- Brad Sherwood: Honey, bring out the steaks. I'm gonna light the barbeque.
- Colin Mochrie: [sighs] Okay.
- [Colin starts to pretend to throw chain saws into the air and juggle them]
- Ryan Stiles: 5 minutes, Mr. President.
- Drew Carey: [laughs] Okay.
- [reads card]
- Drew Carey: Oh, boy. "Baby names that will someday get your child's ass kicked."
- Ryan Stiles: Oh, is Kick-My-Ass Hungry?
- Colin Mochrie: Come here... Colin.
- [Wayne and Brad pretend to go beat him up]
- Drew Carey: Okay. "Little known facts about our host, Drew Carey."
- Ryan Stiles: What kind of middle name is "Alison?"
- Drew Carey: "Things you wished you hadn't said to the president."
- Colin Mochrie: Sure, I'll be your intern.
- Brad Sherwood: [acts like he's holding out a tray] Cigarette? Cigar? Anyone?
- Ryan Stiles: [as if getting married] I do.
- Drew Carey: Hey! Don't go away! There'll be lots of more Whose Line right after this!
- [Ryan accidentally rammed his head into a light fixture]
- Drew Carey: Hey, Ryan, how many fingers am I holding up?
- [Holds up fingers and constantly moves them]
- Ryan Stiles: ...4?
- Drew Carey: [puts down his fingers] Uh, close enough,
- Ryan Stiles: How about me?
- [flips Drew off, the audience laughs]
- Ryan Stiles: There better be some extra points in this.
- Drew Carey: [points to broken glass on the front of the desk] I'm sorry, we spent all the points replacing the glass.
- Ryan Stiles: [points to glass, to Colin] Was that lit?
- Colin Mochrie: Oh, yeah, it was. It'd be better if your head burst into flames.
- [Film Noir]
- Colin Mochrie: I let him think for a while 'cause I knew he had the answer. I knew it was a good answer, and he was going to tell it to me. 'Cause when you ask a question, you expect an answer. That's the way it works... question, answer, answer, question. If he gave the answer, I'd have to come up with the question. That would be Jeopardy. That's wrong.
- Drew Carey: I'd like to give a plug for Ryan's new show. It's a combination of "What's Happening," "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper," "The Outer Limits" and "The PJs." It's called "What's that Hangin' Out of Your PJs?"
- Ryan Stiles: Watch for it.
- Drew Carey: So if you want to be on "Whose Line it is Anyway?" send a naked Polaroid of yourself to the care of 'Whose Line' Po Box: 175.
- Chip Esten: That's how I got on.
- Colin Mochrie: [Greatest Hits] Y'now one time I saw a strong man bend a car at a circus-waitaminute! Bend a car! PAT BENATAR!
- Ryan Stiles: Okay, you've proved your point!
- Colin Mochrie: You're not the only master of segues!
- Drew Carey: [scenes from a hat] Things you do not want to hear your grandmother singing about.
- Wayne Brady: [singing] Grandma likes to get freaky in the mornin', freaky at night! Freaky on the left...
- [buzz]
- Greg Proops: [singing] Grandpa doesn't touch me anymore!
- [buzz]
- Ryan Stiles: [singing] Oh, I put rat poison in the Christmas dinner.
- [buzzer; extreme laughter from Wayne]
- Ryan Stiles: [goes back up] I like to be on top!
- Drew Carey: [Scenes from a hat] Baby Drew's first words.
- Colin Mochrie: Colin's Bald!
- Wayne Brady: Hey Nurse, come on!
- Ryan Stiles: Pizza!
- Brad Sherwood: Show me them boobs! Come on!
- Drew Carey: Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway" the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like the plot line of a porno film. They just don't matter.
- Drew Carey: [setting up "Weird Newscasters"] Wayne, you're a redneck trying to hold on to his title at a greased pig competition. And Ryan...
- Ryan Stiles: ...Please don't say I'm the greased pig!
- Drew Carey: No, you're a first time mother going from conception to birth!
- Ryan Stiles: I don't like the Village People, think they're kinda rude. / Don't you know their lyrics can be kinda crude. / When it's on my stereo I always hit the mute, / But I'll have to admit, the Indian's kind of cute.
- Ryan Stiles: I wanna make a call, so I'll have to use a life line! I wanna call the mother of my baby, my sister Alicia. Are ya' there baby?
- Kathryn Greenwood: Yeah, I'm here, y'know I was just about to call you, my frilly underwear's missin' again!
- Ryan Stiles: Well, I ain't wearin' it!
- Kathryn Greenwood: Yeah, like hell y'ain't wearin' it! What d'ya want?
- Ryan Stiles: [in Southern accent] Is it A, C, D, or D?
- Colin Mochrie: No, you stupid
- [imitates bleeping sound]
- Colin Mochrie: , it's A, B, C, or D!
- Kathryn Greenwood: Well, I don't know which of them numbers it is, I'd say "C"!
- Ryan Stiles: Is that yer favorite number?
- Kathryn Greenwood: Yeah, baby, C's an all right number!
- Colin Mochrie: [Weird Newscasters] Today, legendary human cannonball, the great Zambonee, who was famous for bringing his pet donkey to each of his performances, escaped tragedy today when, just as he was about to be launched, his pet donkey walked in front of the cannon. It took paramedics three hours to remove Zambonee's head from his ass. Both are resting comfortably.
- Drew Carey: Ryan, you are looking for a virgin to sacrifice to appease the gods. And if you come near my desk, I'll kill you.
- Colin Mochrie: The Beatles! Rolling Stones! Barbra Streisand! Bruce Springsteen! These are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used their songs.
- Drew Carey: A lot of people forget that on the Drew Carey show, Ryan and I have been totally naked.
- Ryan Stiles: Of course, some of us needed a wide angle lens.
- Drew Carey: And some of us needed a zoom.
- [after the "Howard" Village People song malfunctions and goes insanely fast]
- Greg Proops: [to Wayne] Watch out for those tempo changes, man... 'Cause when we go into the second bridge, this shit takes off.
- Colin Mochrie: [Drew and Ryan are fighting] Hey come on, make fun of the bald guy!
- [audience laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: I'll be your lighting rod of hate!
- Drew Carey: Naked photos you wouldn't want to see on the internet
- Wayne Brady: Hi, I'm Bea Arthur!
- Ryan Stiles: C-A-R-E-Y. Hmmm.
- Ryan Stiles: [Pretends to click away from the website. He then throws the computer out the window]
- Drew Carey: Careful what you wish for Buddy...
- Ryan Stiles: [during "Greatest Hits: Songs of College"] What comes to mind when I say Ricky Ricardo and great cigars?
- Colin Mochrie: Oh, tapioca!
- [the audience laughs]
- Ryan Stiles: [surprised] Really? Why's that?
- Colin Mochrie: Wasn't that his big song?
- [impersonating Ricky Ricardo]
- Colin Mochrie: "Tapiooooooca! Tapiooooooca!"
- Ryan Stiles: [starting to laugh] No, Colin...
- [starts laughing more]
- Ryan Stiles: I'm talking about Cu...
- [starts laughing uncontrollably as the audience starts laughing too]
- Ryan Stiles: I'm talking about Cuba, Colin...
- [he turns away as he starts laughing again]
- Colin Mochrie: Cuba. It's a small island.
- Ryan Stiles: It is!
- [still laughing hard]
- Ryan Stiles: Why don't you tell the people about it?...
- Colin Mochrie: Actually, we're just going to move away from Cuba for just a sec, and go to another island, an island where some of my favorite music is found-Scaa!
- Ryan Stiles: Like a bunch of crows! "Scaa!"
- Colin Mochrie: TAPIOCA!
- Colin Mochrie: Anyway they did a great college hit- "Ra, ra, ra- Scaa ra, ra!"
- Drew Carey: Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like tasteful shoes to Ryan Stiles.
- [the audience applauds]
- Drew Carey: I'm sorry, was that applause? I couldn't hear it under Ryan's shoes!
- Drew Carey: Occupations where breaking into song is discouraged.
- Ryan Stiles: [pantomimes putting Colin into the electric chair] We're... gonna... Fry you this morning, fry you this morning!
- Wayne Brady: [goes up with Jeff] I'm sorry, but your husband... Isn't gonna make it isn't gonna make it, no, ain't gonna make it, isn't gonna make it...
- Jeff Bryan Davis: [continuing] Isn't gonna make it!
- Colin Mochrie: [mimes trapping himself in a box] I'm a MIME!
- [interviewing Santa]
- Brad Sherwood: What about all of you animal friends?
- Colin Mochrie: Animal friends are just there to be animal friends, if they can't handle being a carpet.
- [the audience gasps]
- Colin Mochrie: I may have said too much.
- [after Colin's quirk of trying to figure out who's really a man and who's really a woman]
- Drew Carey: [pulls out a can of Oust for Colin] I have some disinfectant for your... .
- Wayne Brady: [acting as a little boy, to Kathy] Mommy, will you show me tapes of when you used to do Whose Line?
- Kathryn Greenwood: [giggles and makes gestures of using a VCR remote] Well, darling... .
- Drew Carey: That was amazing, Colin Mochrie.
- [audience cheers and applause]
- Ryan Stiles: [calling off-stage] Keith, I'm going to need two minutes.
- [everyone laughs]
- Ryan Stiles: And I *mean* "two minutes"!
- Drew Carey: That was unbelievable!
- Wayne Brady: Let's hear it for Colin Mochrie!
- [starts a huge round of applause, then turns to Drew]
- Wayne Brady: He's *so* gentle too!
- Colin Mochrie: [embarrassed] Yeah.
- Drew Carey: So 1000 points to everybody *but* Colin, because I was sitting the entire time... waiting for you to come over...
- Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie: Ohhh.
- Colin Mochrie: [points at Drew and smiles] There's no doubt about you, my friend.
- Drew Carey: [chuckles] Yep, I'm all man.
Zu dieser Seite beitragen
Bearbeitung vorschlagen oder fehlenden Inhalt hinzufügen
Oberste Lücke
By what name was Whose Line Is It Anyway? (1998) officially released in India in English?
Antwort