I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998)

Jessica Biel: Allie

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Quotes 

• Allie : [Reluctantly agreeing to go home with Eddie]  First the ground rules. If you say too many stupid things, I'll have to slug you. If you say anything nasty about Jake, I'll have to slug you. If you try to feel me up, I'll have to slug you. If you make me listen to any sexist, racist, or homophobic jokes, I'm gonna have to slug you. And finally, I might just have to slug you from time to time, simply because I find the prospect of driving across the country with you incredibly stressful!

  Eddie : All right. Sounds like a party to me.

• Allie : Well, look at that. The clock man is sexually harassing the clock lady. How typical.

  Eddie : Uh, don't witness it. You might have to testify.

  Allie : Wow, Eddie. That was actually clever.

• Eddie : [as Allie emerges from her motel room]  Whoa! You're not so cute in the morning. I'm kind of glad nothing happened.

  [she slugs him for that remark] 

  Eddie : Ow! You just slugged me!

  Allie : As per our agreement.

• Allie : You know what I've always wondered?

  Eddie : What?

  Allie : Out of all the planets in the universe, how is it that this is the only one that's spawned intelligent life?

  Eddie : Yeah. You know what I always wonder about?

  Allie : What's that?

  Eddie : How come more breakfast joints don't serve your food right in the skillet like Denny's? I mean, think about it. They give you your meat, your eggs, your spuds right in the pan. Man, that rocks! Or like when a homeless guy comes up to you and he says he's the Messiah. And then he asks you for money, and you just want to walk away, but then you think to yourself, 'what happens if he IS the Messiah, and I'm just blowing the dude off?' Think about it.

  Allie : [unable to believe what she's hearing]  I take back what I said about intelligent life on Earth.