The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Travels with Father (1996 TV Movie)

Michael Gough: Leo Tolstoy

Quotes 

• Leo Tolstoy : You reeking little swine, how dare you shoot me in the ass!

  Indiana Jones : I thought you were a giant weazle.

  Leo Tolstoy : Do I look like a giant weazle? Is it my twitching snout? My long, hairless tail? Are all little English boys as stupid as you?

  Indiana Jones : I'm not English, I'm American.

  Leo Tolstoy : That explains it.

• Indiana Jones : You have dogs? So do I. One I mean, her name's Indiana. I haven't seen her in over a year, though. 'Cause we've been traveling so much.

  Leo Tolstoy : You miss her?

  Indiana Jones : Yeah, you bet I do. Can't wait to see her when we get home. Wonder if she'll still remember me.

  Leo Tolstoy : Of course she will. Dogs are better than people.

• Leo Tolstoy : How dare you make me feel guilty!

• Indiana Jones : Hey, they were calling you Tolstoy. I think my father has some of your books. Didn't you write that eh, that really big fat one about war?

  Leo Tolstoy : And peace.

  Indiana Jones : No kiddin'. My father thinks you're great!

  Leo Tolstoy : Your dad's an imbicile.

  Indiana Jones : He's usually not wrong about this stuff. You should ask him.

• Leo Tolstoy : Do not try to see God through spectacles borrowed from the church. See God through your own eyes.