I have challenged my masochistic urge to sit through the worst of moviedom's offerings. What does not kill you makes you stronger, right? Wrong. I'm now convinced it makes you stupider for having gone through it in the first place. I love movies. I love b-movies. I even love bad movies and making my friends sit very uncomfortably through them. But after watching 'Repligator' I've come to the unpleasant conclusion that apparently I don't love myself at all. 'Repligator' is beyond terrible and there is no thesaurus big enough to list the many ways in which 'Repligator' is awful, terrible, bad ...
Filmed with extreme cheapness (was this project a tax write-off? was it some kind of scam to con government film-funding and other private investors?) and a level of professionalism well-suited to semi-evolved chimpanzees, 'Repligator' fails in every possible category of film. Name one and it fails. The music is distractingly awful and completely out of place. The writing is awful. The acting is beyond cheesy. Or maybe it is just so ... minimalist in its approach that IT DOESN'T EXIST. Direction, editing, camera work, special effects -- nothing works in this film and the whole thing seems like an exercise in how to make stupid people (me for watching) pay for their stupidity (me for watching) with the most pain (me by watching). Even if you're a fan of gratuitous nudity (and there is plenty) it isn't worth it.
There are no redeeming qualities, save for one: 'Repligator' is clear proof that no matter how low-budget, no matter how bad your film can be, there IS a sucker born every minute. Many of those suckers have money. Find them, milk them for everything you can, and you too can make a movie.
