On Golden Blonde

On Golden Blonde, like many relics from the Golden Age of Porn, is a curious piece of history for the sole reason that it was one of the introductory films for Christy Canyon, who later become one of the biggest and most celebrated porn stars in the business. Despite the film showing desperately little of her having sex, this is a surprisingly humorous film, taking a lot of its humor from the 1978 film Heaven Can Wait's storyline, and manages to be a very erotic and tastefully done porno in spite of a few notable pitfalls.

The story concerns Alice (Canyon), a young woman who we see enter Heaven in the opening scene of the film, greeted by an angel (W.O. Williams). Shocked that she has died at such a young age, Alice questions the angel why she was taken so young, to which the angel helplessly states that she has done nothing other than simply be at the wrong place at the wrong time. After a quick morning lay with a boyfriend of her's (and by "quick," I mean about eleven minutes long), Alice ventured out to the park where she was killed whilst stopping under a tree for a rest. While the angel cannot restore her life, due to Heaven's time zone moving a lot more quickly than Earth's, rendering Alice buried and memorialized in a matter of seconds, he does agree to allow her a liberal amount of time in the bodies of other prudish women in order to try and assimilate into one of them into the next life.

This involves a very reserved girl (Ginger Lynn), who turns into a sex goddess with her boyfriend when Alice gets inside of her, resulting in an incredibly hot threesome between Lynn, Tom Byron, and Janey Robbins, in addition to a woman who has been in a coma for two months and in need of a revitalization, mentally and sexually. Throughout the film, Alice hopscotches through a barrage of different females and engages in everything from poolside sex and sex outside (and perhaps inside) of marriage.

On Golden Blonde also features a plethora of surprisingly fun comedy; consider the scene when the angel appears inconveniently, interrupting Alice in the middle of poolside sex. Because only she can see the angel, she begins having a conversation, making her male lover think something totally different in this scene and downright confusing him in another. These are the little extra features in pornographic films that make me smile, and a pleasant reminder that some of these films have more than illicit sex on their mind.

Though Canyon's presence is only in one particular sex scene, and her acting chops leave a lot to be desired in this particular film, On Golden Blonde is a lot of fun, full of charisma, good humor, and great, arousing sex. It also further exploits the anomaly of God and Heaven being yet another plot-point in a pornographic film, which goes to show the true ambition and limitless artistic boundaries of the porn industry during the time period.

Starring: Christy Canyon, W.O. Williams, Tom Byron, Gina Carrera, Janey Robbins, and Peter North. Directed by: Adam.

In one of Christy Canyon's first films she doesn't do very well as the title character chosen after death for her spirit to inhabit several blonds and give them wild sexual desires. Her scene is first, it's about the only sex scene she has and she looks away into the camera, a mistake rarely shown in any adult films unless it's intentional. She also talks like a 14 year old, strangely different from her other movies. The blonds have long repetitive scenes spending huge amounts of time in each position, no camera movement to break up the monotony. Channel Lindsay has the best moments in the last scene if weren't so overlong. Canyon's conceit is famous with her own ebay site and shopping café to promote everything about herself, perhaps to hide her embarrassment for poorly photographed and edited duds like this.

Bountiful Christy Canyon plays Alice, an extremely horny woman who dies during her morning jog in a bra-less tanktop. She is greeted at the Heavenly gates by a man who informs her it isn't her time, and that a mistake has been made. She is livid. He takes her on a journey, temporarily placing her into bodies of such blondes as Ginger Lynn and Gina Carrera, until he can find the right receptacle. Alice is displeased each time to be placed into a blonde, as she is a blonde-hater. She is finally placed into a blonde and comatose Chanel Lindsey, who isn't comatose for long. Really bad acting, but still funny at times, "On Golden Blonde" is one of the best adult-comedies for its time. My rating: 8 out of 10

In typical adult film industry fashion, "On Golden Blonde" borrows it's plot (and title) from two mainstream hits. Alice (Christy Canyon) dies by a mistake made in heaven and is shuttled from body to body by an angel until a suitable one can be found. Of course, all the women are blonde (Alice doesn't like that.) And, of course, she has a sexual encounter in each body. By far the most memorable scene takes place when she inhabits Ginger Lynn's character and takes part in a threesome with Tom Byron and a French Maid who gets a "backdoor" invasion. All Cheesey, but great porn flick!