The Curse of Monkey Island (1997 Video Game)
Michael Sorich: Edward Van Helgen, Charles DeGoulash the Ghost Groom
Quotes
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Edward Van Helgen : What! You shot my banjo!
Guybrush Threepwood : You can't be sure of that. That shot may have come from the grassy knoll.
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Guybrush Threepwood : [after challenging Edward to a duel] I choose the banjo!
Edward Van Helgen : I accept.
Guybrush Threepwood : ...You do?
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[the pirates' song, "A Pirate I Was Meant to Be", begins]
Haggis McMutton : We're a band of vicious pirates!
Edward Van Helgen : A sailin' out to sea.
Cutthroat Bill : When you hear our gentle singing...
Haggis McMutton : You'll be sure to turn and flee!
Guybrush Threepwood : Oh, this is just ridiculous.
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Guybrush Threepwood : Come on, men! We've got to recover that map!
Cutthroat Bill : That pirate will be done for, when he falls into our trap! / We're a club of tuneful rovers!
Haggis McMutton : We can sing in every clef!
Edward Van Helgen : We can even hit the high notes!
Haggis McMutton : It's just too bad we're tone deaf!
[to chorus]
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[chorus]
Edward Van Helgen , Haggis McMutton , Cutthroat Bill : A pirate I was meant to be! / Trim the sails and roam the sea!
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Guybrush Threepwood : Let's go defeat that evil pirate!
Edward Van Helgen : We know he's sure to lose, 'cause we know just where to fire at! / We're thieving balladeers.
Haggis McMutton : A gang of cutthroat mugs.
Cutthroat Bill : To fight us off ye don't need guns!
Edward Van Helgen : Just jolly good ear plugs!
[to chorus]
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Guybrush Threepwood : All right, crew, let's get to work!
Haggis McMutton : Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk. / We'll fight you in the harbor.
Cutthroat Bill : We'll battle you on land.
Edward Van Helgen : But when you meet singing pirates...
Guybrush Threepwood : They'll be more than you can stand.
Cutthroat Bill : Ooooh! That was a good one!
Guybrush Threepwood : No, it wasn't.
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Guybrush Threepwood : No time for song! We've got to move!
Cutthroat Bill : The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove! / We're a pack a' scurvy sea dogs.
Haggis McMutton : Have we pity? Not a dram!
Edward Van Helgen : We all eat roasted garlic...
Haggis McMutton : ...then sing from the diaphragm!
[to chorus]
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Guybrush Threepwood : Less singing, more sailing.
Edward Van Helgen : When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!
Cutthroat Bill : If ye try ta fight us...
Haggis McMutton : ...you will get a nasty whackin'!
Edward Van Helgen : If ya disrespect our singing...
Cutthroat Bill : ...we will feed ya to a kraken!
[to chorus]
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Guybrush Threepwood : I'm getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming.
Haggis McMutton : We're ready to set sail, through the cannons need a priming.
Edward Van Helgen : We're troublesome corsairs!
Cutthroat Bill : And we've come to steal your treasures!
Haggis McMutton : We would shoot you on the downbeat...
Edward Van Helgen : ...but we have to rest five measures.
[to chorus]
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Guybrush Threepwood : We'll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange.
Haggis McMutton : And...!... um...
Cutthroat Bill : Well...
Edward Van Helgen : ...er...
Cutthroat Bill : Door hinge?
Edward Van Helgen : No, no...
Cutthroat Bill : Guess the song's over, then.
Haggis McMutton : Guess so.
Edward Van Helgen : Okay, back to work.
Guybrush Threepwood : Well gee. I feel a little guilty, now.
