Greg Kinnear: Captain Amazing

Mystery Men

Captain Amazing

Vic Weems: I think, right now, we should focus on the positive. Tonight was good.
Capt. Amazing: Yeah? You think so? Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know... PATHETIC! "Amazing triumphs at a nursing home"? That's great copy, Vic!
Vic Weems: Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain - and thanks to you, we've got none left.
Capt. Amazing: Then get... the Death Man!
Vic Weems: Death Man is dead.
Capt. Amazing: Okay... Father Doom!
Vic Weems: Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair...
Capt. Amazing: Really?
Vic Weems: Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut-house.
Capt. Amazing: Casanova Frankenstein - now there was a supervillain! You know, he just... he's got those eyes, you know? I can't do it, but... and that voice! Such pure evil! The battles we used to have - extraordinary!
Vic Weems: "Used to." That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."

The Shoveller: Captain, I'm just going to ask you directly. Do you know billionaire Lance Hunt?
Capt. Amazing: [whispers] It's me.
[the Shoveller looks surprised, and Capt. Amazing laughs]
Capt. Amazing: Naw, I'm kidding with you, I've always wanted to do that.

Capt. Amazing: I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova Frankenstein: I knew you'd know that.
Capt. Amazing: Oh, I know that. AND I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova Frankenstein: But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know THAT?
Capt. Amazing: Of course.

Capt. Amazing: Really? I'm not so sure about that. Your first night of freedom, and you blow up the asylum. Interesting choice. I knew you couldn't change.
Casanova Frankenstein: I knew you'd know that.
Capt. Amazing: Oh, I know that. And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
Casanova Frankenstein: But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?
Capt. Amazing: ...Of course.

Capt. Amazing: [amused at the Mystery Men] Really. You're... you're all superheroes.
The Shoveller: Well, we fight crime. Call it what you will.

Capt. Amazing: Oh looky here, a multi frequency radio detonator. You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.
Casanova Frankenstein: Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.
Capt. Amazing: Yeah? W-What is it?
[Puff Of Smoke Goes Off In Captain Amazing's Face]
Capt. Amazing: [sniffs] Yuck.
Casanova Frankenstein: It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare.
[Captain Amazing Nods In Confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily]
Capt. Amazing: [sniffs] Ah, Dang!
[passes out]

Capt. Amazing: [strapped to a chair] Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans here.
Casanova Frankenstein: You know my plans, Lancie: Tomorrow night, I'm going to kill you.
Capt. Amazing: Right, that's the part that really doesn't work for me...
Casanova Frankenstein: When the clock strikes twelve... cuckoo, cuckoo... you will be dead. And my city will be given a new state of mind.