Kenny Starfighter (1997–2022)

Johan Stattin: Markus

Quotes 

• Markus : Remove the cornea and locate the lense. Make sure the eye doesn't burst when you lay the first stitch.

  Tyrone : Look, skin dead mice I can handle, but dissect cow eyes, that's my limit.

  Burken : But Tyrone, I saw this movie once, there was a guy who was going to operate on an eye, and then when he was about to cut in it, it started following him with its look, so he turned all mad and transplanted it in his forehead so he could use it as an analyzer and zoom in and people like this, "zzz", "zzz"...

  Markus : Cut it out, let's do this now so we're rid of this shit, OK?

  Burken : OK.

  Markus : [opens the box and finds a pack of cards]  Whoa! Look!

  Markus : Whoa! Look!

  Tyrone : Awesome! No cow eyes - no homework!

  Sofia : We'll have to give them back tomorrow and say they made a mistake.

  Markus : You think these are Slem-Sven's cards?

  Burken : No, it's gotta be some kind of game, to test our intelligence!

  Tyrone : [sighs, exasperated]  Get this: Slem-sven doesn't play games, he plays with dead animals, and sews hats out of them.

• [Markus is in biology class, daydreaming that a group of vampire cannibals are attacking his girlfriend, Jaqueline] 

  Jacqueline : Ooooh! It's the vampire cannibals!

  Markus : Die, you evil beasts!

  [shoots them with a blaster] 

  Jacqueline : Oh, Markus. I love you!

  Markus : I know. Let me kiss you!

  Jacqueline : Oh, Markus.

  [starts kissing Markus] 

  Jacqueline : [Markus wakes up to realise he's been kissing a lung] 

• Kenny Starfighter : [speaking to Markus through a hidden mike]  Hey, what are you guys doing, don't just sit there!

  Markus : We're going to see school nurse now.

  Jacqueline : Duh, I know that, fucking freak!

• Mona : ...I actually don't meet many men - *people* at work anymore. Well, most of them are homosexuals, anyway.... You do know what homosexual means, Markus? It's when, men are with men, and they don't want to be with women.

  Markus : Mom, you're so *embarrassing*!

• Principal : [on the school loudspeaker]  Attention, attention! All students are to visit school nurse and take their lockjaw syringe - IMMEDIATELY! And remember, you are SILENT when you take the syringe!

  Markus : [to Tyrone]  Didn't we get the lockjaw syringe last week?

  Tyrone : Well, it sure hurt.

  German teacher : Ruhe, bitte.

• [the gang is walking through the underground labyrinth that is supposed to lead to Dr. Deo's lair] 

  Kenny Starfighter : Hey, hey, there's a sign on that pipe, what does it say?

  Sofia : Uh..."Old pipe, not used".

  Kenny Starfighter : And that one?

  Sofia : "New pipe, often used".

  Kenny Starfighter : Yep. That's where we're going.

  Sofia : But Kenny, wait... according to the map, we're going the *other* way.

  Kenny Starfighter : Yeah, but that map is old, they've probably changed it since then.

  [walks off] 

  Tyrone : Hey Kenny, it's *that* way!

  Kenny Starfighter : No it isn't!

  Tyrone , Sofia : Yes it is!

  Kenny Starfighter : No it ISN'T!

  Markus , Tyrone , Burken , Sofia : YES IT IS!

  Kenny Starfighter : Well how often have YOU followed these kind of pipes before?

  Markus , Tyrone , Burken , Sofia : Um...

  Kenny Starfighter : NOW we're getting somewhere!

  [goes the 'right' way]