Kenny Starfighter (1997–2022)
Johan Rheborg: Kenny Starfighter
Quotes
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Kenny Starfighter : [Kenny's space bus is about to crash] Like, it's happening stuff here, like.
Memorymatic : Navigation system is out of order.
Kenny Starfighter : I can't steer!
Memorymatic : [shouts] Out of order!
Kenny Starfighter : What do I do?
Memorymatic : Use the catapult chair!
Kenny Starfighter : Are you nuts, that means abandoning ship! I just picked it up, this is my first space bus!
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Kenny Starfighter : [meeting a washing machine for the first time] Who are you? Identify!
[slaps the washing machine with a flyswatter]
Kenny Starfighter : [washing machine starts making noises]
Kenny Starfighter : Hey, don't cry! Sorry! Hey, boli boli, my name is Kenny Starfighter. Hey, do you know where I am?
[washing machine makes more noises]
Kenny Starfighter : Hee hee hee hee hee, I didn't see that. This helmet and everything, you know. So how long have you been here?
[washing machine makes more noises]
Kenny Starfighter : Wow, I have no plans of staying that long. Bye then. Sorry!... Hey, do you know how I get out of here?
[washing machine makes more noises]
Kenny Starfighter : Flip a coin? No way. NO WAY! Then I'd rather use the teleporter, then I know where I'll end up.
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[Kenny has used too much washing powder in the washing machine, and foam is all over the floor]
Sofia : Hey! Maybe you could try and clean this mess up?
Kenny Starfighter : Yeah, maybe I could do that, as a matter of fact!
[fires Hairminator]
Kenny Starfighter : [the Hairminator's beam bounces all over the room, forcing them all to duck down but leaving the foam unharmed]
Kenny Starfighter : ...Or maybe not.
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Kenny Starfighter : [speaking to Markus through a hidden mike] Hey, what are you guys doing, don't just sit there!
Markus : We're going to see school nurse now.
Jacqueline : Duh, I know that, fucking freak!
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Kenny Starfighter : [online with Col. Heinz, who is on Sun Planet] OK, that's cool, I'll find that Zingo factory. Now where did you say those secret maps were again, on a box?
Col. Heinz : [angrily] No, *in* a box!
[Kenny logs off]
Kenny Starfighter : *On*, *on*, *on* a box.
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[the gang is walking through the underground labyrinth that is supposed to lead to Dr. Deo's lair]
Kenny Starfighter : Hey, hey, there's a sign on that pipe, what does it say?
Sofia : Uh..."Old pipe, not used".
Kenny Starfighter : And that one?
Sofia : "New pipe, often used".
Kenny Starfighter : Yep. That's where we're going.
Sofia : But Kenny, wait... according to the map, we're going the *other* way.
Kenny Starfighter : Yeah, but that map is old, they've probably changed it since then.
[walks off]
Tyrone : Hey Kenny, it's *that* way!
Kenny Starfighter : No it isn't!
Kenny Starfighter : No it ISN'T!
Markus , Tyrone , Burken , Sofia : YES IT IS!
Kenny Starfighter : Well how often have YOU followed these kind of pipes before?
Markus , Tyrone , Burken , Sofia : Um...
Kenny Starfighter : NOW we're getting somewhere!
[goes the 'right' way]
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Burken : [aboard Kenny's space bus] Hey, look, it's marshmallows!
Kenny Starfighter : Oh, hey, please don't touch the wall insulation!
Burken : But it's strawberry flavor!
Kenny Starfighter : No, it isn't.
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Kenny Starfighter : [after eating a banana without peeling it] Yeech! How can Burken eat stuff like this?
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[in front of the Gate of Dr. Deo's lair]
Kenny Starfighter : Look, it's some kind of code! Hey, y'know, hey, hey, you know what I think? I think if you break that code, you can go through without burning up... or, the other way around, maybe.
Sofia : You can't read, can you?
[pause]
Kenny Starfighter : Yes I can!... It's just that this, this is another dialect, or something.
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Dr. Deo : Caspadia promised me the throne, if I defeated Emperor Zing. But she lied. She said I was just a simple soldier... who smelt bad.
Kenny Starfighter : [sniffing] Hey, you *do* smell bad. I never thought of it before.
