Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Vinnie Jones: Big Chris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Big Chris : It's been emotional.

• Big Chris : I've got some bad news for you, John.

  John : What the fuck?

  [Chris closes tanning parlor on John] 

  Big Chris : Mind your language in front of the boy!

  John : Jesus Christ!

  [Chris does it again] 

  Big Chris : That includes blasphemy as well!

• Little Chris : Fuckin' hell John, do you always walk around with this in your pocket?

  Big Chris : Hey! You use language like that again son, you'll wish you hadn't!

• Big Chris : [Big Chris has just explained that Eddie is in debt with Hatchet Harry]  I understand if this has come as a bit of a shock. But let me tell you how this can be resolved by you, a good father.

  JD : Go on.

  Big Chris : He likes your bar.

  JD : Yes?

  Big Chris : He wants your bar.

  JD : And?

  Big Chris : Do you want me to draw you a picture?

• Big Chris : All right, son: roll them guns up, count the money, and put your seat belt on.

• JD : I do know your reputation. So I choose my words very carefully. You tell Harry to go fuck himself.

  Big Chris : Now... I'll put that down to shock. Only once.

• Big Chris : [after rear-ending Eddie outside of Harry's]  You alright, mate?

  [Spots the bag of money he just gave to Harry in Eddie's lap] 

  Big Chris : Cheeky bastard!

• "Hatchet" Harry : It's about time you paid our young friends a visit, Chris. Today's the day and mum's the word, and I can't have that, can I?

  Big Chris : No, 'Arry, you can't.

  "Hatchet" Harry : I mean, it's a liberty. And I can't have liberties taken, can I, Barry?

  Barry the Baptist : No, 'Arry, you can't.

  "Hatchet" Harry : I mean, it's enough to give me the arsehole. And I can't have the arsehole, can I, boys?

  Big Chris , Barry the Baptist : No, 'Arry, you can't.

• "Hatchet" Harry : How did you get your hands on these, then?

  Big Chris : The boys had 'em. I know you like these sort of things, wondered if you wanted 'em.

  "Hatchet" Harry : Yeah, I'll have 'em.

  Barry the Baptist : Was it hard work getting the money?

  Big Chris : Not especially. Upset a few characters, though.

  "Hatchet" Harry : Have you counted it?

  Big Chris : Yeah, it's all there to the pound.

  "Hatchet" Harry : And they were gonna pay?

  Big Chris : Looks like it. But who knows? The opportunity was there. In my experience, it's best to take that opportunity. If it's there.

  "Hatchet" Harry : Good work, Chris.

• [Traffic wardens becoming a deus ex machina] 

  Big Chris : It's a thirty second drive or a five minute walk. I couldn't have parked outside. I'd have got a ticket!

• Big Chris : [Slamming Dog's head with a car door]  Never ever has anyone ever been as fucking rude to me as you Dog, fucking bastard!