Jakob the Liar (1999)

Robin Williams: Jakob

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Jakob Heym : Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" And the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday." Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" And she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."

• Jakob Heym : I believe we are the chosen people... but I wish the Almighty had chosen somebody else.

• Jakob Heym : Here's a book about Africa. You read this, you'll forget you're hungry.

• Lina Kronstein : Jakob, there are thieves in your apartment.

  Jakob Heym : My apartment? What's to steal?

• Lina Kronstein : Tonight is Shabbat.

  Jakob Heym : Great. We'll fast like every other night.

• Jakob Heym : Hunger for hope may be worse than hunger for food.

• Jakob Heym : I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.

• Jakob Heym : A barber with a dull razor is like a blind moyl.

• Mischa : If you had one and didn't want anyone to know... ...the best way would be to say you had one... ...because no one owning a radio would be stupid enough to admit it. They'd leave you alone, which means.... What does it mean, Jakob?

  Jakob Heym : I don't know.

  Mischa : It means you've got a radio.

  Jakob Heym : I don't have a radio.

  Mischa : I understand.

• Jakob Heym : Stop torturing me. The Germans are already doing a fine job.

• Jakob Heym : Technically, they're retreating. But strategically, they're advancing.

• Jakob Heym : My name is Jakob Heym.

  Miss Esther : The Jakob Heym? I imagined you much taller.

  Jakob Heym : So did I.

• Lina Kronstein : What happened to your wife?

  Jakob Heym : They *shot* her. Under a tree. I don't know what kind of tree it was. I didn't bother to ask.

• Jakob Heym : Oh, God of the Jews! Why didn't you make your people a race of mice?

• Jakob Heym : I don't want to see you playing with that cat. I certainly don't want to see you catch it and eat it. Any cat that lets itself get caught is sick.

• Mischa : You're hiding someone?

  Jakob Heym : Yes. Why couldn't you think this quick in the ring?

• Lina Kronstein : Does that mean it's nearly over?

  Jakob Heym : [imitating Winston Churchill on the *radio*.]  That's a very good question.

  Lina Kronstein : He heard me!

  Jakob Heym : [imitating the BBC radio announcer.]  We remind listeners not to ask questions... as that interferes with reception. And please don't look at the radio!

• [last lines] 

  Jakob Heym : But maybe it wasn't like that at all. Because you know, as Frankfurter says, "until the last line has been spoken, the curtain cannot come down".

  Rosa : Mischa!

  Jakob Heym : About 50 kilometers out of town, the train was stopped by Russian troops, who had just taken Bizonika, and Pratt...

  [national anthem proudly playing]