- Priest: It's a wonderful thing, as time goes by, to be with someone who looks into your face, when you've gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like.
- [after Carolyn explains to Jimmie the symbolism between flowers and vaginas]
- Jimmie: I'm not interested in your goddamn vagina, all right? I just want to marry you!
- Daphne: [snarling at prisoner] I don't play "good cop, bad cop" - requires too much patience. I go straight to "bad cop, worse cop." Now behave!
- Grandad Shannon: As my last surviving descendant, you have a sacred duty to pass on my genetic material.
- Jimmie: That's a lovely sentiment.
- [Jimmie hears that his "shit or get off the pot" marriage proposal has become an urban legend]
- Customer: My psychoanalyst couldn't stop talking about it. It's a bunch of crap if you ask me.
- Roy O'Dell: Time for desperate measures. What about my daughter?
- Jimmie: Absolutely not!
- Roy O'Dell: Why not? She's not good enough for you?
- Jimmie: She's fifteen!
- Roy O'Dell: Well, it's pretty late in the game for you to be Mr. Choosy.
- Ilana: [Upon seeing Jimmie after her performance] Up until now I thought you were dead!
- [Gives him a dirty look and leaves]
- Marco: [imitating Muhammad Ali while playing with a remote-controlled toy robot] C'mon, gorilla, we in Manila! C'mon, gorilla, this is the Thrilla!
- Jimmie: Anne, this has been the worst day of my life, alright? You obviously know about the money; what you don't know is I had to do it. I would have been responsible for closing down the whole company. I don't even know if you know I'm not married. I'm not, but I wanna be. I just ... Please, say something?
- Anne: Why didn't you tell me?
- Jimmie: I, I, I didn't trust you to believe me. I wanted to marry you first and the money ... I don't know, a really big wedding gift, but I spent the whole night asking every woman in the world to marry me ...
- Anne: Every woman? You asked Buckley?
- Jimmie: Every one but the one I wanted.
- Anne: What was that that you were saying about my freckle?
- Jimmie: It's still there. If you want to walk away, I understand. But what's so important that I tell you this; today I realized the only thing truly special about me is you. I can spend my whole life scared and alone wandering around some place or I could tell you how much I love you. You make me so happy. If it takes our whole married life to make it up to you, I would be so honored just to have that chance. I just want to be with you.
- Anne: Oh my God, now that was a proposal.