The Haunted Sea (1997) User Reviews

Only good for unintended laughs and plentiful nudity.

[Zbigniew_Krycsiwiki · 3/10 · 19 July 2014]

The sea isn't *haunted*, so much as it is inhabited by an abandoned ship home to a gassy-sounding, rubbery, dinosaur-looking creature who is supposed to be the feathered, winged serpent known as Quetzacoatl. Apparently, the filmmakers didn't do their homework on that one, because its physical description, as well as the spelling of its name, are incorrect herein. Eventually, a small crew board the ship and discover a crate filled with a curiously lightweight gold statue. Several times, top-heavy Krista Allen imagines herself jiggling and bouncing topless during some sort of sacrificial offering, before the statue shock/ possesses one of their number, who turns into a fanged, belching, slobbering demon, and rips them to shreds, eventually turning into what this film calls "Queztacoatl".

Lengthy tracking shots during opening credits only serve to pad out the film's brief run time, as does Krista Allen's shower scene and plentiful nude scenes (I counted three in the first fifteen minutes) . Krista has a great body, but should either stick to doing porn, or at least get better screenplays to work with. The camera jiggles almost as much as her huge rack does, which makes it difficult to figure out what little is happening on-screen.

The final shot is intended to be a shock twist ending, but it only made me groan. Furthermore, it is held for such a long time that any surprise which might have been is slowly driven away by boredom.

Waterlogged ALIEN rip-off.

[capkronos · 2/10 · 25 February 2004]

Most low budget ALIEN copies try to camouflage the fact they're copies by setting them in some exotic locale. We have gotten ALIEN underwater (LEVIATHAN, DEEPSTAR SIX, etc.), underground (MIND RIPPER), in a jungle (PREDATOR), on post-holocaust earth (CREEPOZOIDS), in skyscrapers (PROJECT: METALBEAST) and basically anywhere where people in a confined space are stalked and killed off by a big FX monster. It's all the same. Some are good, some are OK and some are terrible. This one (set on an abandoned boat) falls into the latter category, but gets some major unintentional laughs thanks mainly to the awful creature design.

Here (in case anyone cares), an ancient Aztec statue turns a guy into a terrible looking, floppy-handed lizard creature who attacks and kills off most of the cast. Flashbacks to an Aztec temple (using badly incorporated stock footage) are just an excuse to get big-breasted star Krista Allen out of her clothes (not a bad thing). Joanna Pacula deserves to be in better movies. James Brolin deserves his eventual fate (marriage to *ARGHHH!* Barbra Streisand!)

Score: 2 out of 10

Incredibly awful.

[HumanoidOfFlesh · 2/10 · 2 April 2001]

Along with "Grim" this is possibly the worst monster-on-the-loose horror film I have ever seen.James Brolin and Joanna Pacula are completely wasted in this piece of crap.As for Pacula,she is my favourite Polish actress but why she was involved in this disaster is beyond me.The plot is obnoxious and stupid,the monster looks incredibly fake and the special effects are mostly made up of splattering red paint/blood on the wall when someone gets hacked up.The lead actress Krista Allen is extremely annoying and incredibly wooden.To sum up,if you enjoy lame acting,cheesy gore effects and an implausible plot,then this is the film for you.If not,avoid it like the plague.

Flashing naked boobs does not a good movie make

[eddax · 1/10 · 20 June 2003]

Early clues that this movie will be a complete waste of time: Gratuitous female nudity before the opening credits are over, and wobbly cameras zooming in at screeching people to simulate predator attacks. And oh look, boobs were bared again 10 minutes into the movie.

Essentially this movie is similar in plot to the recent Ghost Ship - the crew of a boat find a (haunted) abandoned ship and board it. This script is crap, however. There's something about an Aztec curse, which leads to flashbacks of sacrificial rituals, which naturally requires there to be naked women. Despite the title, this is actually a monster flick. Effects are limited here (read: a monster that looks like a puppet), as is the acting. There are a few more experienced actors, and there are the actors that need a few more years of acting school before they can take up roles like "Bystander #1".

I wonder what a renowned actor like James Brolin is doing in this movie. I guess before he married money... I mean Barbra Streisand, he had to find some way of paying the bills.

Large breasts, not-too-special-effects

[BruceMc · 22 September 1999]

"The Haunted Sea" is an incredibly bad, cheap movie, noteworthy only for its short length and gratuitous nudity. Krista Allen-Morritt's so-big-they-won't-fit-in-a-football-helmet breasts are the true stars of this "Aliens", "Q, The Winged Serpent", and "Leviathan" rip-off, as she's topless at every possible occasion, including dream sequences and a shower scene.

Casting borders on the ridiculous: extraordinarily beautiful Joanna Pacula is the freighter's 2nd-in-command, and James Brolin (Barbra Streisand's paramour) is the ship's captain who uses such nautical terms as "left" and "right."

Special effects are ridiculous: the monster looks like a cheap Godilla (think of "Godzookie" on the old cartoon); animated "lightning" jumps off ancient Aztec statues; the assorted killings are amateurish at best.

See it only if you have nothing better to do for it's 84 minute running time.

Such an odd title...

[lost-in-limbo · 5/10 · 24 June 2018]

There's nothing haunting about it, unless you think an Aztec feathered serpent (Quetzalcoatl) is haunting, but once you see it. I don't think haunting comes to mind. Being a Roger Corman produced presentation (Concord) you get what you usually expect from a quick-buck, straight-to-video fare. It's trashy (gratuitous T&A and tacky gore), just not enough of it to break away from its labored pacing. And it only goes for about 70 minutes. What we do get, is another wannabe, rancid "ALIEN" rehash, this time set on a drifting ghost freighter that bestows an ancient Aztec treasure.

Some washed up actors slumming, in the likes of James Brolin and Don Stroud. A grizzled Brolin plays the ship's captain -- doing nothing more than pacing up and down the bridge, while trying to make his meaningless dialogues seem meaningful. Then there's the hard-nosed, if reliable Joanna Pacula who might be wishing, she was somewhere else by the look on her face. Even with these names attached, the camera really does focus on lead actress Krista Allen. And when I mean focus, her breasts could get their own billing with the amount of exposed, topless scenes. Obviously someone had been watching Allen in all of those mid 90s made-for-cable "Emmanuelle" films. You begin to ask the question, is this one of the reasons (the other being time-frame quota) for the ancient flashbacks? No it was all about using their iguana stock footage.

Now let's move onto the monster. It's a cruddy looking, man-in-a-rubber suit --- like something you would get out of a 1960/70s Godzilla film. Well more like the awkward leftovers. In the opening minute you get frenetic camera movements and blood being splashed about here and there. Oh no I was concerned... but gladly it does do a little more than that later on. You get a decently executed transformation sequence (... remember this is barebones), involving bubbling skin, cracking bones and someone's guts spilling out. Once this thing goes on the rampage you get a touch of latex gore, but the actions are limited. It goes about waving around its oversized claws, while its head dangles from its long neck. There's even some tongue action and it likes to get in a good punch too. Just be prepared to endure a lot of wandering through corridors, the boring kind, where the low-rent sets look plain, and studio bound. Just those scenes, especially later on, could've done with a little more sense of urgency, just liked the pointless slow motion running through the corridors scene, well it did look like the same scene done on a loop.

"THE HAUNTED SEA" is a dumb, disposable run-of-the-mill creature-feature for a lazy afternoon.

Good movie leads to really stupid climax

[lordzedd-3 · 1/10 · 19 August 2006]

MAJOR SPOILERS! I hate to say this, speaking as a man and all. But there was way too much nudity in this film. This has got to be some kind of record for nudity in a non-porno flick. There has got to be twenty to thirty minutes just for nudity. The creature effects were okay, for a snakeman. But as per the norm with anyone connected to Roger Cormen, they don't do their "RESEARCH". If you want to talk about something as widely known as the Aztec Gods, you don't use your imagination, you go with the facts. Fact, Quetzalcoatl is the winged snake God, some versions have him with legs, but with wings, where are the wings? Second, they misspelled Quetzalcoatl. Look it up! Lastly, the acting was worse then some pornos in places and then comes the OTHER SHOE ENDING. Some might ask, what is the "Other shoe ending". It's this, the monster is dead, someone escapes alive. Then the other shoe drops turning a happy ending into a bad ending. In this case it was this, stop reading if you don't really want to know. Second Mate Johnson sets the monster ablaze, she leaps out as the ship explodes behind her. Her ship searches for her for hours and finds her on board a piece of wood (ala Titanic) and a close up shows that she is transforming. That makes no sense, she out of all people know not to touch the snake statue, she never touched the snake statue. Why is this happening, it makes no sense, it's stupid.

Why do these morons who make these kind of movies think that it has to have a bad ending to leave it open? Hmm? No matter how stupid they have to make it. This is how I would have done it, take notes future filmmakers. Johnson is rescued and is still human. Fade out, fade in, under the ocean, the sunken ship. Sinking out have put the fire out before it could get to the cargo hold. We pan through the treasures until we reach the snake statue, which is undamaged and the eyes are glowing. That's how you keep a movie open and not look STUPID!!!!That's why I give this good movie with a majorly stupid ending the NOOSE!

Unless you like Krista Allen-Moritt or guys in rubber suits, don't bother

[SRW-2 · 2/10 · 9 September 1998]

Plot: Monster decimates ship crew, derelict found by cargo ship whose crew investigates to monster's delight.

Terrible special effects, boring chase scenes, and an uninspired cast and story line sum up this ripoff of ALIEN with an Aztec twist. Special effects consist of lots of fake blood, a bad monster costume, and Krista Allen -Moritt's breasts. Monster looks like it walked straight off the set of SPECTRAMAN (old precursor to POWER RANGERS), including monster noises those TV producers would have been embarrassed to dub (they sound like someone after a bad bowl of chili).

The channeling/dream scenes are particularly stupid, and the chase scenes, such as they are, are beyond boring - my vocabulary fails me at this point.

Will make MST3k some day, if MST3k survives.

Only watched it for Joanna Pacula

[neil-douglas2010 · 4/10 · 18 June 2023]

Yes it's true that is the main reason I watched this "film" the beautiful Joanna Pacula. Unfortunately apart from this, this is a pretty dismal film. Even the nudity of the other actress (Krista Allen) doesn't help, she's pretty awful to be honest.

The whole film is pretty pants, the crew of a film find a mysterious vessel and when some of the crew board it they find no crew but plenty of ancient loot. They intend to steal it, bad idea pals. Another problem is most of the crew are unlikeable so who cares when they get bumped off, as for the Monster, well it's so awful it's amazing it got filmed at all.

Poor Joanna having to appear in this guff, she must've needed the money.

Permission to Come A-Bored?

[NoDakTatum · 1/10 · 2 November 2023]

A small boat carrying a melting pot of crewmen (including women trying to prove themselves) and a boozy captain played by Mr. Barbra Streisand stumble upon a ship that does not show up on radar. Some of the crew board the vessel, where most of the old crew has been murdered. Turns out the boat is carrying cursed Aztec treasure, which spawns a serpent monster or at least some guy in an unconvincing rubber suit, and the cast runs up and down dark corridors being chased by the giant gecko.

The B list of name actors includes James Brolin, Don Stroud, and Joanna Pacula. Cast member Krista Allen believed disrobing was essential to her character, a shipping line owner's daughter who happens to be an expert on ancient Central and South American civilizations. The direction is pretty bland, something to be expected when you are limited to three sets and reels of 1960's Mexico travelogue footage. The script sucks, taking many leaps in logic just to fill the already brief seventy-four minute running time. Not a whole lot is explained, and not a whole lot makes sense. The gore effects should also get special mention- in any other film, they would be merely average, but they do stand out in a project of this minimal magnitude. The creature effects suck, the explosion and gun effects suck, and the actors somehow got suckered into signing on to this thing. The sea is not haunted, the boat is kind of haunted, but this reviewer will be haunted for minutes to come, suffering from sweats, explosive diarrhea, and projectile vomiting. "Haunted Sea" should be thrown back, it's a special kind of badness.

really not bad

[johnc2141 · 7/10 · 5 February 2011]

OK i seen this a few times and haunted sea is not a bad movie,true it is a b-movie but it is entertaining although short.a good soundtrack,a good cast led by sexy Krista Allen,James Brolin,and Joanne Pacula.it deals with an Aztec treasure and a monster that looks like a leftover from carnosaur.i would call this a Saturday matinée movie much like atomic submarine.i am a fan of Roger Corman movies,except of course carnosaur which i did not care for.another notable actor is Don Stroud who made numerous movies with Corman like;bloody mama and dillinger and Capone.haunted sea is not a classic but like i said its not bad,ill give it 7 out of 10.

Watch only in a well-ventilated room!

[dickfoster · 16 December 2000]

The premise of looted (and cursed) Aztec treasure found on a drifting ship has promise to be deliciously scary. Unfortunately, the Haunted Sea doesn't fulfil the promise. Can be amusing if you look for scenes and stunts from good Sci-Fi and horror movies, and try to guess the next lame plot device to bare Ms. Allen's not-inconsiderable mammary gifts. Without a single original idea, character, scene or word, this movie is so bad you'll keep watching it to see if it can get any worse-and it does! Makes you wonder what ended up on the cutting room floor (now that is scary!).

"Aztec" silliness

[Memlets · 12 August 1999]

The other user comment for this movie says it all, except that Barbra Streisand should forbid hubby James Brolin from ever again attempting an Irish accent.

And then there's that gimme cap on the noggin of the usually glamorous, decidedly non-butch Joanna Pacula.

MST3K is gone, sad to say. This would have been perfect fodder.