Fierce Creatures (1997)
Kevin Kline: Vince McCain, Rod McCain
Photos
Quotes
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Vince : Told you I'd kick ass, Dad. What I really wanted to ask was, I, uh - I was wondering, could I get a raise?
Rod : Out of the question.
Vince : Why?
Rod : I don't have the money.
Vince : You got six billion dollars!
Rod : Seven, but things are tight right now. Who the hell's making all this bloody noise? Who's there?
[he opens the door and he sees no one]
Vince : Okay, look. Uh, what about a-a small advance on my inheritance?
Rod : What inheritance?
Vince : Well...
[nervous laugh]
Vince : I-I'm your son! You have to leave me something.
Rod : Why?
Vince : 'Cause you... you screwed up my whole childhood!
Rod : How could I have? I wasn't even there.
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Vince McCain : You mean he's dead?
Willa Weston : [sombre] Yes.
Vince McCain : And he's not coming back?
Rollo Lee : [sombre] No. I'm sorry.
[Vince leans his head against the wall, as though grieving, then tilts back his head and everyone sees him laughing]
Vince McCain : I'm so happy!
[to Rod's corpse]
Vince McCain : You're dead! You're dead! You're dead!
[punching it]
Vince McCain : You big-fat-bastard! YES!
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Willa Weston : You really don't like animals, do you?
Vince McCain : No, it's not that I don't like them, I just don't see the point. I remember, when I was five, my mother got me this... dog. Pft. I just didn't *get* it. I suppose I had nothing I needed fetched. So I sold him.
Willa Weston : How sad.
Vince McCain : Oh, he got over it.
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[Rollo is pushing a wheeled cage containing a lemur he's supposed to have shot]
Vince McCain : What are you doing with that?
Rollo Lee : Uh... oh, the lemur?
Vince McCain : Yeah.
Rollo Lee : Oh, just putting it back in its enclosure.
Vince McCain : Why'd you take it out?
Rollo Lee : Ahhhhh... for a walk... you know, exercise.
Vince McCain : It can hardly move in there.
Rollo Lee : Ah, no, no, the exercise is for me.
Vince McCain : So what do you need that for?
Rollo Lee : That's a good point, actually. Um, well, perhaps I won't bother in future. Thanks for the hint.
[Turns to leave]
Vince McCain : Hey, hey, hey, hey. Were you going to use that for target practice?
Rollo Lee : Oh, no. Ha.
Vince McCain : Or, uh, one of your orgies?
[long pause]
Rollo Lee : Orgies?
Vince McCain : Yeah. I'm onto you. You were going to put that somewhere. You're sick.
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Neville : Mate, Beijing called. We've got the television rights to their public executions.
Rod McCain : Worldwide?
Neville : Five guys a week, guaranteed.
Rod McCain : Beauty.
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Vince McCain : Now over here, this used to be the lion house, but as it's no longer suitable for animals, we're using it for middle management.
[He sees Pip and Cub kissing Rollo in a fit of gratitude]
Vince McCain : What the hell do you think you're doing? Can you keep a lid on it till the sun goes down, for God's sake? You're supposed to be working, not prancing around in your cell like a... flamingo with a boner.
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Vince : No, no. This is the kind of conversation that two people have when one of them is female.
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Vince : I don't like you. You're weird and unattractive.
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Willa Weston : For one thing, he loves animals.
Vince : Oh, he doesn't just love 'em.
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Willa Weston : What are you doing?
Vince McCain : I'm freezing him.
Willa Weston : Why?
Vince McCain : He's gotta be cryogenically frozen until they find a cure.
Willa Weston : Yeah, a cure? Vince, he has a bullet in the brain.
Vince McCain : Well, get more ice.
Willa Weston : Vince, there is no cure for a bullet in the brain. It is very fatal.
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[the staff are now all reluctantly wearing animal costumes]
Vince McCain : And I want to thank you all, personally, for the incredible enthusiasm that you've shown vis-à-vis our latest new innovative initiative. You look fantastic. You're no longer a bunch of smelly old animal keepers. No, as of today, you are official Theme Zoo Visitation Enhancement Facilitators.
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Willa Weston : What about the quality of the experience?
Vince McCain : No, Rod says quality has never worked for him.
Willa Weston : Right! Everything he touches gets tackier.
Vince McCain : Well, that's the price of success.
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Willa Weston : You know what you are? You're pronoid.
Vince McCain : "Pronoid"?
Willa Weston : Mm-hmm. It means that contrary to all the available evidence, you actually think that people like you. Your perception of life is that it's one long benefit dinner in *your* honor with everybody cheering *you* on and wanting *you* to win everything. You think you're the prince, Vince.
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[Vince opens the door and leans halfway into Willa's office]
Vince McCain : Willa, can I ask you a question?
Willa Weston : Sure.
Vince McCain : Those breasts real?
Willa Weston : Yes.
Vince McCain : [Closes door, but we hear him through it] Yippee.
[Reopens door and comes in]
Vince McCain : You know, Willa, uh, you better be careful dressed like that around here. People will think you're sleeping your way to the top.
Willa Weston : Just as long as they don't think I'm sleeping my way to the middle.
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[Vince forgets the time zones when phoning England]
Vince McCain : Oh, were you asleep?
Rollo Lee : Uh, yes, I frequently am at 2 A.M., I'm afraid. Uh, filthy habit I picked up in the Far East.
Vince McCain : Oh well, gee, look, if this communiqué is in any way, uh, sleep-interruptive, I'll, uh, re-telephone you later.
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[She wants him to think they'll have sex - eventually]
Willa Weston : I think it's too soon.
Vince McCain : Why?
Willa Weston : Because what we have is special.
Vince McCain : No it isn't.
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Willa Weston : He reminds me of my father.
Vince McCaine : Was your father ugly?
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Vince McCain : You saw the papers... the, uh, Vampire Gunman Runs Amok story?
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Vince McCain : [Disguised as Rod] I'm going to the shed. Mother always said, when you're naughty, you go to the shed. And I've been naughty. God, I'm depressed.
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Vince : Did you get a whiff of that guy's cologne? Eau de Monkey Fart!
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Rod McCain : You're going to jail, Vince!
Vince McCain : Aw, no - not again!
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Rod McCain : [Discussing the fact that the animals can't be shot] We'll get a tame vet to say they've caught some disgusting disease!
Neville : Pity this isn't Texas
Rod McCain : Why's that?
Neville : We could charge people to do it for us!
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Vince : [after catching Willa and Rollo kissing] I can understand the gorrila, but not... not Mr Disgusting!
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Vince : [Vince and Willa are looking at Rod's portrait] Round here, he's known as Rod Almighty!
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Vince : [Describing Rollo] He looks like he's borrowed his body for the weekend, and hasn't figured out how it works yet!
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Vince : How does he get three girls... where does the third one go?
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Willa Weston : Vince, tell me about the sponsorships.
Vince McCain : What sponsorships?
Willa Weston : The ones you told Rod about.
Vince McCain : I made them up.
Willa Weston : Vince, I...
[She turns around, seeing Vince with his shirt off]
Willa Weston : What are you doing?
Vince McCain : [He turns around] Getting undressed
[his pants drop]
Vince McCain : For sex. I thought you were in the bedroom.
Willa Weston : I was getting this dinner.
Vince McCain : Oh, okay. You want to eat first?
