Criminals going to a penal colony in space (somewhere) escape, unfreeze one of the prisoners and... well am not sure what follows. There is a lot of running around, shooting and mini explosions but it doesn't amount to thrills of any kind. A lot of it is just silly. Most of the characters are uninteresting. Jeff Speakman as the master criminal McMasters is dull, Maryam d'Abo as pilot Teegs is annoying, Nicholas Worth is wasted and Arye Gross as comic relief Riley is neither comic nor a relief. Even Ricco Ross, a fine thespian, couldn't make much of his role. Jeffrey Meek as the flamboyant Villum does add a bit of entertainment value. Am feeling generous giving the movie 4/10.
13 Reviews
Dubious direction & writing dampen what value this may have had
I_Ailurophile27 December 2022
On the one hand, the production design and art direction, props, minis, and any practical effects and stunts are welcome, and look decent if not great. On the other hand, any post-production special effects range from "okay" to "um, okay, sure." These, unfortunately, are just about the most substantial praise I can offer for this movie.
Maryam d'Abo can certainly claim some fame, and not undeservedly. She may be best known as "Bond Girl" Kara Milovy in 'The living daylights,' but between that and a couple other films I've seen her in, she's demonstrated finesse and nuanced acting skill that I earnestly admire. She is the star of this sci-fi film about violent prisoners taking over a penal colony in space, and let's be very honest, probably the primary reason anyone might have to watch it. I can't speak for the rest of the cast, but I know what d'Abo is capable of, and I trust her co-stars would similarly prove their worth if given the opportunity. 'Timelock' is not the title to grant such opportunity. Filmmaker Robert Munic forces his actors into astoundingly small corners, drawing from them a panoply of overacting worse than any that I can immediately recall in this moment. Everyone in front of the camera, at all times, is doing nothing but chewing scenery throughout these 96 minutes, and to witness it is simply aggravating.
Sadly, the same ethos applies to everything else about this feature, in every way that it can. Munic's direction and Steve Adcock's cinematography are at best uneven, at worst wildly overzealous; the manner in which some effects are employed is just as overbearing. Though doubtlessly just coloring within the lines provided for her, Amanda I. Kirpaul's editing sometimes chops up a scene in such a way as to diminish the impact it could have. Joseph John Barmettler and J. Reifel's screenplay is unexceptional but serviceable when it comes to the story at large, but is otherwise questionable. The dialogue is kind of awful, too much of the scene writing comes off as self-indulgent, and the characters are mostly just poorly written all around. Too much of the attempted humor or basic levity isn't nearly as clever as it thinks it is, and so is just overdone as a result - which makes the writing of the character Riley all the more regrettable, the smart aleck who always has some witty or sardonic quip to make. Oh, and by the way, star d'Abo has little time on-screen until the picture is already half-over, and even then is only second fiddle, to my chagrin.
It's a shame, really. The crew did good work. The cast try to make the most of what they're given, d'Abo and Arye Gross in particular, with Jeffrey Meek coming in second. There are genuinely some good ideas here, some real cleverness in the dialogue and scene writing that does actually earn a smile or even a laugh at a few points. The narrative is unremarkable and we've absolutely seen this movie before, but that's no inherent mark against it, and there are always fine possibilities for how it could be played out. Yet the screenplay is troubled more than not, sometimes outright dull in its boorishness, and it can't be overstated how flagrantly overcooked Munic's direction is. These two facets especially overwhelm or drain what value 'Timelock' may have to offer, ultimately making it a trying viewing experience more than a fun one. This film had potential, but made too little use of it while going overboard in other ways - including an ending, one final scene, that's just altogether unacceptable. True enough, there are far worse ways to spend one's time, but this is really only recommendable for those who are big fans of someone involved, and even then it's far lesser than what our best optimism could hope for. At its best 'Timelock' can only offer intermittent entertainment, so why bother at all when there are countless other titles to watch instead?
Maryam d'Abo can certainly claim some fame, and not undeservedly. She may be best known as "Bond Girl" Kara Milovy in 'The living daylights,' but between that and a couple other films I've seen her in, she's demonstrated finesse and nuanced acting skill that I earnestly admire. She is the star of this sci-fi film about violent prisoners taking over a penal colony in space, and let's be very honest, probably the primary reason anyone might have to watch it. I can't speak for the rest of the cast, but I know what d'Abo is capable of, and I trust her co-stars would similarly prove their worth if given the opportunity. 'Timelock' is not the title to grant such opportunity. Filmmaker Robert Munic forces his actors into astoundingly small corners, drawing from them a panoply of overacting worse than any that I can immediately recall in this moment. Everyone in front of the camera, at all times, is doing nothing but chewing scenery throughout these 96 minutes, and to witness it is simply aggravating.
Sadly, the same ethos applies to everything else about this feature, in every way that it can. Munic's direction and Steve Adcock's cinematography are at best uneven, at worst wildly overzealous; the manner in which some effects are employed is just as overbearing. Though doubtlessly just coloring within the lines provided for her, Amanda I. Kirpaul's editing sometimes chops up a scene in such a way as to diminish the impact it could have. Joseph John Barmettler and J. Reifel's screenplay is unexceptional but serviceable when it comes to the story at large, but is otherwise questionable. The dialogue is kind of awful, too much of the scene writing comes off as self-indulgent, and the characters are mostly just poorly written all around. Too much of the attempted humor or basic levity isn't nearly as clever as it thinks it is, and so is just overdone as a result - which makes the writing of the character Riley all the more regrettable, the smart aleck who always has some witty or sardonic quip to make. Oh, and by the way, star d'Abo has little time on-screen until the picture is already half-over, and even then is only second fiddle, to my chagrin.
It's a shame, really. The crew did good work. The cast try to make the most of what they're given, d'Abo and Arye Gross in particular, with Jeffrey Meek coming in second. There are genuinely some good ideas here, some real cleverness in the dialogue and scene writing that does actually earn a smile or even a laugh at a few points. The narrative is unremarkable and we've absolutely seen this movie before, but that's no inherent mark against it, and there are always fine possibilities for how it could be played out. Yet the screenplay is troubled more than not, sometimes outright dull in its boorishness, and it can't be overstated how flagrantly overcooked Munic's direction is. These two facets especially overwhelm or drain what value 'Timelock' may have to offer, ultimately making it a trying viewing experience more than a fun one. This film had potential, but made too little use of it while going overboard in other ways - including an ending, one final scene, that's just altogether unacceptable. True enough, there are far worse ways to spend one's time, but this is really only recommendable for those who are big fans of someone involved, and even then it's far lesser than what our best optimism could hope for. At its best 'Timelock' can only offer intermittent entertainment, so why bother at all when there are countless other titles to watch instead?
Utter rubbish that is somehow watchable
Sergiodave18 August 2020
A science fiction movie set on a penal colony planet. There the similarity with Alien 3 ends. Most of the bad guys act like gay porn stars, the ex bond Girl, Maryam d'Abo, naturally can't act. A slight saving Grace is Ayre Gross, a well known TV actor, who is the best thing in a bad movie.
What the heck did I just sit through?
AW38 April 2001
Let me try to sum up the "plot" of this movie as best I can: Maryam d'Abo (former Bond girl) reaches the end of her career here as Teegs, a spaceship captain in the year 2251, who is responsible for ferrying prisoners to the asteroid Alpha 4, a maximum security penal colony.
Among the prisoners in the cargo hold is Riley (played by Arye Gross, whom you might remember best from the sitcom Ellen), a "master" computer thief. We then have a brief flashback to Riley's crime, which involved him hacking into what is (I think) a bank's computer. The display on the computer, strangely enough, is a wavy three-dimensional grid that bears little relation to the financial transactions Riley is performing.
Next, the flashback cuts to Riley in bed in a hotel room, enjoying the (ahem) services of two voluptuous women. His eyes light up with glee when they start handcuffing him to the headboard. "I've got something to show you," one of the girls says. "Oh, show it to me!" Riley cries. "Showtime! Showtime at the Apollo!" (Apparently people will still be tuning in to Amateur Night 250 years from now).
As you might have guessed, what they show Riley are two guns and a badge. In the future, you see, law enforcement agencies will hire ex-Playboy Playmates to frolic with suspects in hotel rooms instead of just arresting them on the spot.
Having established Riley's crime and arrest, we return to the cargo hold of Teegs' ship. Riley overhears another prisoner talking about his record: "I've been to Alpha 1, 2, and 3, but this is my first trip to the Big House!" Apparently, in the future, there will be only four prisons in the entire universe.
Naturally, this panics Riley, who's just a lowly computer hacker, and presumably belongs in a minimum-security facility. "I'm supposed to be going to Alpha 1!" Riley screams. Teegs refuses to check on this, because, in her words, "I hate lists." Yeah, those pesky little things that tell you exactly which prisoners you're supposed to be delivering. I can't stand those either.
This plea earns Riley the nickname of "A1" among his fellow convicts. At this point, I have to mention that there's a blatant undercurrent of homoeroticism in this movie (even for a prison flick) especially coming from bad guy Villum, played by Jeffrey Meeks. The person who left the comment that Meeks' performance was "wonderful" must be related to the guy in some way. The word I would have chosen is "bizarre": His performance appears to be modeled on the character of Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire (Meeks even fans himself at one point with a piece of paper).
Once they arrive at Alpha 4, we are witness to one of the lamest "prison breakouts" I've ever seen, which seems to consist solely of shooting two guards and disabling one computer. Now all the prisoners are running amuck, and so are Riley and Teegs, and they're all trying to get back to Teegs' ship to escape.
Naturally, Riley and Teegs fall in love, for no real reason other than It's In The Script (tm) (There's even a charming scene where they make out in a prison cell while handcuffed to a toilet). If you're unfortunate enough to see this movie, you will understand how dumbfounded I was by this attraction. Riley is an irritating jerk who can't go for more than two minutes without making some lame quip. (Sample: When Riley and Villum are facing down in a swordfight (and don't ask me why there were two swords lying around a prison colony), Riley says, "Hey, how come you get the good sword?") Between Villum's wierd Scarlet O'Hara accent and Riley's stupid patter I was rooting for both of them to die, slowly and painfully.
Of course, the real dilemma is that even if Riley and Teegs can make it back to the ship, the head honcho bad guy McMasters (sporting a Billy Ray Cyrus-style mullet) has unfortunately gotten his hands on the vital component that the ship can't function without: a 3 and 1/4 inch floppy disk. Yes, that's right; spaceships in the year 2251 require a boot disk.
One final note: why the heck is the movie called "Timelock"? It's got nothing to do with time, other than it takes place a long time from now, and even though it is in a prison, the plot's got nothing do with locks. I can only conclude they called it "Timelock" because watching it makes you feel like you've been locked away for an eternity.
Among the prisoners in the cargo hold is Riley (played by Arye Gross, whom you might remember best from the sitcom Ellen), a "master" computer thief. We then have a brief flashback to Riley's crime, which involved him hacking into what is (I think) a bank's computer. The display on the computer, strangely enough, is a wavy three-dimensional grid that bears little relation to the financial transactions Riley is performing.
Next, the flashback cuts to Riley in bed in a hotel room, enjoying the (ahem) services of two voluptuous women. His eyes light up with glee when they start handcuffing him to the headboard. "I've got something to show you," one of the girls says. "Oh, show it to me!" Riley cries. "Showtime! Showtime at the Apollo!" (Apparently people will still be tuning in to Amateur Night 250 years from now).
As you might have guessed, what they show Riley are two guns and a badge. In the future, you see, law enforcement agencies will hire ex-Playboy Playmates to frolic with suspects in hotel rooms instead of just arresting them on the spot.
Having established Riley's crime and arrest, we return to the cargo hold of Teegs' ship. Riley overhears another prisoner talking about his record: "I've been to Alpha 1, 2, and 3, but this is my first trip to the Big House!" Apparently, in the future, there will be only four prisons in the entire universe.
Naturally, this panics Riley, who's just a lowly computer hacker, and presumably belongs in a minimum-security facility. "I'm supposed to be going to Alpha 1!" Riley screams. Teegs refuses to check on this, because, in her words, "I hate lists." Yeah, those pesky little things that tell you exactly which prisoners you're supposed to be delivering. I can't stand those either.
This plea earns Riley the nickname of "A1" among his fellow convicts. At this point, I have to mention that there's a blatant undercurrent of homoeroticism in this movie (even for a prison flick) especially coming from bad guy Villum, played by Jeffrey Meeks. The person who left the comment that Meeks' performance was "wonderful" must be related to the guy in some way. The word I would have chosen is "bizarre": His performance appears to be modeled on the character of Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire (Meeks even fans himself at one point with a piece of paper).
Once they arrive at Alpha 4, we are witness to one of the lamest "prison breakouts" I've ever seen, which seems to consist solely of shooting two guards and disabling one computer. Now all the prisoners are running amuck, and so are Riley and Teegs, and they're all trying to get back to Teegs' ship to escape.
Naturally, Riley and Teegs fall in love, for no real reason other than It's In The Script (tm) (There's even a charming scene where they make out in a prison cell while handcuffed to a toilet). If you're unfortunate enough to see this movie, you will understand how dumbfounded I was by this attraction. Riley is an irritating jerk who can't go for more than two minutes without making some lame quip. (Sample: When Riley and Villum are facing down in a swordfight (and don't ask me why there were two swords lying around a prison colony), Riley says, "Hey, how come you get the good sword?") Between Villum's wierd Scarlet O'Hara accent and Riley's stupid patter I was rooting for both of them to die, slowly and painfully.
Of course, the real dilemma is that even if Riley and Teegs can make it back to the ship, the head honcho bad guy McMasters (sporting a Billy Ray Cyrus-style mullet) has unfortunately gotten his hands on the vital component that the ship can't function without: a 3 and 1/4 inch floppy disk. Yes, that's right; spaceships in the year 2251 require a boot disk.
One final note: why the heck is the movie called "Timelock"? It's got nothing to do with time, other than it takes place a long time from now, and even though it is in a prison, the plot's got nothing do with locks. I can only conclude they called it "Timelock" because watching it makes you feel like you've been locked away for an eternity.
What a stick fest!
djray655 November 2007
Well, I went in to this film knowing full well it was no "Star wars" but this was extra cheesy. I love sci-fi movies and hoped this would at lest entertain me for a while. I was wrong. As for the sci-fi part, it was missing. First of all there was no time travail, time warping...nothing to do with time but wasting it. This was not even a B-movie. Saddly, the acting and FX were not so great ether. They stunk. It looks like they filmed it in an old wear house. I don't even remember if I made it to the end of this bomb. This had o be a tax right-off for someone. If you like bombs, or hate your self, then this for you, if not stay away...far away. Run if you have to.
Pathetic Bilge
junk-monkey3 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Incredibly bad Future Prison movie in which sweaty leather-clad Vin Deisel wannabees run around a former mining asteroid turned penal institution shooting 20th century handguns at each other (as it was set in the 23rd Century, this is the equivalent of having James Bond run around with a muzzle loading flintlock) and generally being sweatily homo-erotically sadistic to everyone in sight. Pure crap. Not particularly enjoyable crap either. Zero imagination / WTF? points included the ship our villains planned to escape on needing a 3.5 floppy to get it to fly (I can't even start to think of an equivalent for today's transport - needing a quill and parchment to start the Space Shuttle?) and the side-kick baddie managing to smuggle not one, but _two_ katanas (with scabbards) into the ultimate maximum security prison in the universe. Mindless bilge.
A real B-movie
Leofwine_draca29 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
A real B-movie, badly directed and written and only enjoyable if you're a fan of lowest-common-denominator cinema. Arye Gross, of TV's ELLEN, is the nominal hero, a normal guy caught up in an outer space prison break in which a gang of bad guys have to be subdued. Former Bond girl Maryam d'Abo co-stars as a tough pilot alongside various cult faces including Nicholas Worth and Martin Kove. Jeff Speakman, a straight-to-video martial arts actor, is cast against type as the overacting villain of the piece. Not good at all, with no decent action or FX to recommend it either.
Wut?
dodobassoon12 June 2021
oh come on
JamieWJackson4 June 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I made it past the low budget "special" effects and poor acting and was still willing to give this a go, until... SPOILER ALERT... a guard decided to use his finger as the means to probe what was inside a suspicious prisoner's suspicious tooth. At that point I had to stop watching purely out of defense of my (remaining) brain cells.
Maybe the movie got better after that, but I don't see any reason to hope so.
Even a no-budget movie can be worth watching if it brings something else to the table, but with writing that bad, this one belongs in the trash.
Maybe the movie got better after that, but I don't see any reason to hope so.
Even a no-budget movie can be worth watching if it brings something else to the table, but with writing that bad, this one belongs in the trash.
Floppy discs 200 years in the future
DEPRESSEDcherry11 March 2021
This is the type of movie that you rented on VHS from your local store back in the day, consumed with junk food and a few beers, and then perhaps evaluate your life choices after the night is done.
The point being, this is not a movie to take at all seriously. It's a camp throwaway affair, poorly conceived and put together. If you start to think at all while watching this, you'll be struck by how tragic a state the careers of Martin Kove and Maryam d'Abo must have been at the time.
It's a step just above amateur, as in the very next step. Only really worth a watch if you have a passing interest in bad movies.
Pretty awful - But still fun
liammurphy18 March 2004
Although this movie is set 250 years in the future they still use the same floppy disks we used 5 years ago and the same guns they used in cop movies 20 years ago except with an added whoosing noise I guess the budget didn't run to make super duper men in black style basookas and the lead villain is soooooooo camp it's beyond a joke. Former Bond girl Maryam d'abo must have really fallen on bad times to make this trash. The only redeeming feature in this tripe is arye gross wisecracking thief good guy who helps d'abo fight the bad guys.
although it's utter trash, I still enjoyed this movie mainly because it didn't take itself too seriously
So it gets a Healthy 7/10 from me
although it's utter trash, I still enjoyed this movie mainly because it didn't take itself too seriously
So it gets a Healthy 7/10 from me
Jeffrey Meek was wonderful
tblack139 September 1999
Besides, the ship won't fly without this!
dermotglennon-9651214 June 2023
This film is not merely watchable, it's genuinely entertaining. It has its flaws. It has many many flaws. It's like someone brought a bag of flaws into the cinema, opened it with too much gusto, and they went EVERYWHERE!
But, like stormtroopers, all of them miss and none of them matter. Despite the best efforts of those flaws, this film is not just watchable, but genuinely entertaining.
All of the actors can act. Not only that, but all of them can act with, at least, a modicum of screen presence; something you almost never see in post-milennial B-movies. Each one is a character acting and each scene is a character comedy vignette. They never quite manage to be laugh out loud funny; but, crucially, they are engaging, and they are able to create convincing chemistry between their characters. It's a solid six.
But, like stormtroopers, all of them miss and none of them matter. Despite the best efforts of those flaws, this film is not just watchable, but genuinely entertaining.
All of the actors can act. Not only that, but all of them can act with, at least, a modicum of screen presence; something you almost never see in post-milennial B-movies. Each one is a character acting and each scene is a character comedy vignette. They never quite manage to be laugh out loud funny; but, crucially, they are engaging, and they are able to create convincing chemistry between their characters. It's a solid six.
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