Bordello of Blood (1996) User Reviews

Slightly inferior to Demon Knight, but in some ways better

[TBJCSKCNRRQTreviews · 6/10 · 27 July 2004]

While I enjoyed the humor and the Crypt Keepers puns more in this than in Demon Knight, the overall experience of this is just slightly inferior. This one suffers mainly under not having such an entertaining villain/main monster as the first one; Lilith does have some decent lines, but almost all of them were sexual innuendos, which gets old a little too fast. The Collector was more entertaining, with his cynical and sarcastic personality. There's also less "action" in this one, though there might be slightly more gore. In this one, the plot also moves along a little too slowly, considering the fact that it's only meant as entertainment; with that in mind, you have to wonder why it takes so long to tell the story and get to the gore and blood. The ending sequence was also slightly less entertaining and exciting than the one in Demon Knight. Like Demon Knight, the film manages to bring in plenty of both sex and violence, often both at the same time. Apart from Rafe(Dennis Miller), there weren't really any interesting or entertaining characters. Miller does a really great job, portraying the type of character he usually does; a slimy, sarcastic jerk. That is the Miller that we fans know and love. It's nice to see him in a role that compliments his talents so well. The film, like Demon Knight, is very gory and violent, although apart from the Crypt Keepers puns, and some of Miller's lines, this didn't have that much to offer. It's good enough to watch, if you've got 90 minutes to kill, and you don't want to see Demon Knight, don't want to re-watch it, or can't find it. The films are both worth watching, but I'd suggest Demon Knight over this one. I recommend it(like the first) to fans of gory horror films, and people who just want to be entertained for 90 minutes without having to think very much. 6/10

"You're reminding me why being married to you drove me to the brink of homosexuality."

[utgard14 · 5/10 · 4 August 2014]

Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing brother Caleb (Corey Feldman). Rafe's search leads him to a brothel run by centuries-old vampire Lilith (Angie Everhart). The second of the 'Tales from the Crypt Presents' movies is nowhere near as good as the criminally underrated Demon Knight. It's not a scary movie, nor does it really try to be. It's a comedy, with Dennis Miller having a ball throwing out one liner after one liner. If only the rest of the movie matched his performance. The story is so slight you'll wonder if the entire script was jotted down on a napkin. The movie's primary selling point is sex and nudity, of which there is not a lot. Especially disappointing when you consider that the two most well-known women in the film, Everhart and Eleniak, never appear nude. Still, a fun tone with a great turn by Miller makes it worth watching once.

Good Bloody Fun.

[Mr_Censored · 7/10 · 6 February 2010]

Blood, breasts, vampires and Chris Sarandon. How can you go wrong?

"Bordello of Blood," the second "Tales From The Crypt" feature film, supplies the viewer with ample amounts of all of the above, leaving room for little else. What it lacks in story, it more than makes up for in its cheap thrills, and as far as midnight guilty pleasures go, this one is about as good as it gets.

The story revolves around a good-girl (Erika Eleniak) whose delinquent brother (Corey Feldman) goes missing. Upon hiring a wise-cracking private detective, it is revealed that a local morgue is housing a brothel run by a gang of beautiful but deadly vampires. Armed with super-soakers full of holy water and with the help of a guitar-slinging reverend (Chris Sarandon), the two set out to put the joint out of business once and for all.

Dennis Miller is essentially playing himself, but keeps the humor pumping through the film's ridiculous premise. Chris Sarandon, likewise, is in top form as the genre hero he truly is. As mentioned before, there's plenty of bare-flesh and red-stuff to go around, and if that sort of thing is your bag, you'll have a blast with "Bordello of Blood." Take it for the cheap thrill ride it is.

One of my favorite guilty pleasures: a most awesome B-movie extravaganza!!!

[mattymatt4ever · 7/10 · 24 September 2001]

I don't have much of an opinion on this flick. Because what's there to analyze? Gratuitous violence. Gratuitous gore. Gross-out effects strictly for shock value. Gratuitous nudity and close-ups of big breasts. What we have here is a feminist's nightmare. What we also have is an absolute blast!!!

I'm sure women won't enjoy this as much and will probably b*tch about the overdose of female nudity, but for all you guys who just don't give a damn and just want to kick back and have a good time: You will love this movie!! This is like a mix of Wes Craven and Howard Stern. A supreme guilty pleasure!

I enjoy deep, artistically brilliant films like "American Beauty" and "Magnolia," but there's no reason I can't enjoy a campy, shallow, sleazy horror flick like this. I don't ONLY enjoy these types of flicks, but I can enjoy it as long as it's done in a fun, tongue-in-cheek, unpretentious manner. I just want to get that straight. OK, I'll go on. :)

Dennis Miller provides great comic relief in his lead role. Those who are fans of his schtick should look forward to this movie. The horror sequences, though sometimes cheesy, are great fun to watch. There's a spectacular sequence at the end with excellent usage of the song "Ballroom Blitz." There are other great classics like "All Right Now" and "Jailbreak." That's why I bought the soundtrack. It's awesome!

So this movie fits the "guy flick" stereotype like a glove. If you're not in the mood for excessive violence, gore and female nudity--don't watch this movie! Don't say I didn't warn you.

My score: 7 (out of 10)

Okay camp horror movie

[Gislef · 5/10 · 28 March 2001]

As a horror movie that doesn't take itself seriously at all, Bordello is okay. It's hard to believe that Miller gives it such a hard time on his HBO show: it's not bad for what it is: a trashy little horror/humor/camp movie that gives Miller center-stage with his own brand of humorous asides. The ending is kinda twisty, Aubrey Morris' performance is downright weird but amusing, and there's plenty of new-style horror "gore" thrown in. The female leads are pretty much wasted, and there's way too much unnecessary nudity. Bordello's real problem is simply that it pales in comparison to the excellently done Demon Knight. It's basically a whole different, campy concept (and what's up with Will Sadler's wasted cameo as the Mummy?). It's okay, but nothing special: Dennis Miller fans will get a kick out of it.

Enough words to meet the requirements for a review

[jessegehrig · 3/10 · 18 September 2013]

The only problem with this movie is Dennis Miller. Well, then there is Corey Feldman, O.K. the only two problems with this movie are Dennis Miller and Corey Feldman. The actual story, y'know, the story the producers should have gone with, is the story of the TV preacher played by Chris Sarandon and his deal with Angie Everhart's Lilith. That's the story, that's where all the life is. Dennis Miller seems merely inserted into the action, like he got some points in his contract where he gets his own movie in exchange for services to be rendered later, so he is retrofitted into some script, in this case a Tales From The Crypt thing. It all comes off so forced and superfluous to the plot. That and Dennis Miller has no charisma, he's is an unpleasant little man devoid of life and vitality. But you do get to see some titties.

Dennis Miller rules!

[JCrewPsycho1980 · 10/10 · 1 June 2003]

This movie is funny as hell and has tons of gore, why don't people like this? The great Chris Sarandon is also in this(Fright Night) and we get to see one of the Coreys play a fun vampire. Oh yeah, there are hundreds of hot women with breast implants running around naked and exploding. This movie is awesome!

Funny Black Comedy with a Great Conclusion

[claudio_carvalho · 7/10 · 25 January 2015]

The dwarf Vincent Prather (Phil Fondacaro) leads an expedition to the Tierra del Fuego following an ancient map. He arrives at a cave where there is a coffin instead of a treasure. He opens a box with four pieces of a heart and revives the mother of all vampires Lilith (Angie Everhart) that kills his employees. Vincent uses a key artifact with blood to control and protect himself from Lilith.

The punk Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) has an argument with his sister Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak ) and leaves their house to go to a bar to meet a friend. They learn that there is an amazing brothel at 325 Beaumont, a funeral home where they should ask for the Cunningham Wake. They are received by the mortician McCutcheon (Aubrey Morris) and soon they go to the brothel. However Lilith runs the place and the girls are vampires. Caleb's friend is killed by Lilith that that rips his heart out of his chest and then Caleb is attacked by her.

Katherine goes to the precinct to report that her brother is missing but the police officer does not give much attention to her. The private investigator Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) overhears her conversation and offers his services to Katherine. The snoopy Rafe tracks Caleb's path and he discovers that the brothel seems to be a lair of vampires. But Katherine, who works with Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon) that has a business connection with Lilith, does not believe in his word. Now Rafe is seeking evidences to prove to Katherine that he is telling the truth.

"Bordello of Blood" is an underrated gore comedy of vampires. The plot is funny, with beautiful and hot female vampires, and also with a great unexpected conclusion. The comedy is a funny parody of horror and crime genres with the sexy Angie Everhart and Erika Eleniak. But Dennis Miller steals the movie in the role of a sleazy but efficient private eye. Lilith's tongue reaching the heart of her victims is hilarious; however the funniest scene is when Rafe teams up with Reverend Current and they use squirt guns with holy water to defeat the female vampires, exploding them. When the viewer expects a happy ending, with the good guy and the good girl together, there is an unforeseen conclusion. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "O Bordel de Sangue" ("The Brothel of Blood")

Note: On 06 November2020, I saw this film again.

Oh my God, it's a necrophiliac's wet dream!

[lastliberal · 5/10 · 19 October 2007]

With Dennis Miller, you can expect that this will not be the usual Vampire movie. He makes constant references to movies, TV stars, and other personalities throughout. It is hard to believe that he didn't get writing credit as i imagine many of the lines were his. That's just a guess.

Dennis certainly has his eyes on Erika Eleniak (Under Siege) throughout, as do we. She can't hide behind that uptight Christian persona, and she gets to come out of her shell and deliver what all of us that despise Deniss Miller wanted to see.

It also features Angie Everhart (First to Die) as the head vampire. The first fire-top on Glamour magazine, Angie didn't give us the display she had in Jade, but she was hot hot hot throughout. Unfortunately, she was really hot towards the end.

Lots of gore and sexual innuendo. Despite his best efforts, Miller did not completely ruin the film.

You Might Get Infected By Just Watching.

[tfrizzell · 13 November 2003]

Dennis Miller tries to stop a group of female bi-sexual vampires (led by the ultra-erotic Angie Everhart) who pose as prostitutes at a funeral home that acts as a front for a supposed prostitution ring. By the way, I am completely serious. "Bordello of Blood" is a crazed mess that is so hilarious because of its stupidity that it nearly becomes a deceptive winner. This is the second film of the mid-1990s from "The Tales From the Crypt" HBO series (the equally under-achieving "Demon Knight" was released in 1995). I personally like this picture a little more because it does not take itself too seriously and almost works better as a parody. However the film never rises from its very odd premise as its tone is unclear and the immensely funny situations are sometimes over-shadowed by very graphic violence and constant sexual situations. Arguably Miller's finest performance (go figure that one too) and the steamy vampires are not quite enough to keep "Bordello of Blood" from needing a shot for its STDs (Seriously Tedious Dilemmas). 2 stars out of 5.

Now I don't want to get off on a crypt here...

[Quinoa1984 · 5/10 · 28 February 2000]

But I think this film has some good things in it despite some cheesy effects and a not exactly great plot. For instance, Dennis Miller. He brings the film through it's lulls with his wicked sense of humor and odd sense of morale. He works very well in this vampire film that is better than the last "Crypt" movie. One of the best horror films of 96.

Well, not AS bad as I expected... but not as good as Demon Knight... =)

[GrbgFAN · 7/10 · 11 August 1999]

Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this, because I think Demon Knight is about one of the best horrors made, and I was surprised that their second film was far different than Demon Knight... This one, Bordello Of Blood, was more funny than anything (quite funny humor I must admit at some points in the movie) with gore, that's all it was, funny and bloody, I was shocked that this movie really didn't have a real plot to it (none that I realized anyway) except obviously, there was vampires, and they wanted them dead... Did I miss something? In Demon Knight, there was a strong plot, great acting, (Especially, Billy Zane...) And funny, gory, exciting, etc., but this was just... pretty plain. If you are expecting a good vampire movie out of this, go watch something else... may I recommend John Carpenter's Vampires? A more serious, believable vampire movie =), but hey, COME ON... this movie isn't THAT bad... is it? The whole idea of it was dumb, and I think made for men, and that isn't fair to us female fans of Tales From The Crypt... am I missing something? Well, maybe the "boss" the cryptkeeper IS a guy, I guess he has say-so about what is put in the movies...

Decent, campy, vampire flick from the HBO Series.

[hu675 · 7/10 · 23 November 2007]

A wise-cracking sleazy Private Eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is been hired from a born again lady (Erika Eleniak) to find her punk goth brother (Corey Feldman). Rafe discovers an bordello, which it's also a funeral home. Then he meets the seductive Lillith (Angie Everhart), who's actually Queen of the Vampires. Her sexy employees are also vampires, which they seduced lonely or horny mens for survival. Now Rafe has to destroy Lillith before it's too late.

Directed by Gilbert Alder made an watchable tongue in cheek horror/comedy from the popular HBO series. Which it was inspired by the horror comic books of the 1950's of the same title "Tales from the Crypt". The cast seems to be having a great time here, including Chris Sarandon (Who played an seductive vampire in "Fright Night") and Phil Fondacaro as Vincent. Especially when Miller and Sarandon are destroying Vampires with Supersoakers. This is the second film from what it meant to be a trilogy. Which the first movie was "Demon Knight", it was a modest box office success. When "Bordello of Blood" flopped at the box office, the third film never happened sadly.

Perphas the problem with the picture, it's the script by the director and A L Katz. It's never as good or amusing as we hoped to be. Although the story credit came from Bob Gale (Back to the Future Trilogy, Trespass, Used Cars) and Oscar-Winner Director:Robert Zemeckis (Beowulf, Cast Away, The Polar Express). Probably if Gale and Zemeckis wrote the script instead, this could have been a much enjoyable movie. Which they wrote excellent scripts together. The film is occasionally funny and Miller does his best by making this fun. There's enough campy sleaze, dark humour, in-jokes and gore by seeing this uninspired picture worth a look. The motion picture soundtrack of the movie is a lot better than the movie to some degree. William Sadler and Oscar-Winner:Whoopi Goldberg appears in amusing cameos. (***/*****).

Terrible movie and a clear sign the show was jumping the shark

[bellino-angelo2014 · 3/10 · 27 July 2021]

I loved most of the 93 episodes of the original show and I loved also DEMON KNIGHT. So I had to watch this movie too but I really hated it (and the fact that it was released in the year of the last season certainly says a lot!).

It begins with a group of researchers that go in an underground tomb and revive Lilith the mother of all vampires with the blood-stained key from DEMON KNIGHT, but little they know that Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon) has opened a brothel for making the sinful men go there and punish them for their sins. The first person that falls in the trap is Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) and after he goes missing his sister Katherine does everything with the help of a detective for making the brothel close forever. They will succedd but not without some disasters after another.

I hated this movie mostly because at times it looked like an excuse for the makers of using disgusting special effects just for the sake of shocking viewers. Scenes like when Lilith picked the head of a friend of Caleb, snapped it from his neck and the fluids were coming out kinda grossed me out and it's a miracle that I saw the movie until the very end. And William Sadler and Whoopie Goldberg (two guest stars of the original show) have pointless cameos that you blink and they are gone. And at times I nearly felt bored.

If you loved the show (and also DEMON KNIGHT) I won't recommend this movie as it was a very painful experience for me and it kinda betrays the show's lovers. Easy to skip.

A stupid movie that is fun to watch. Not as good as Demon Knights.

[TOMNEL · 6/10 · 17 June 2005]

Bordello of Blood-1996-Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Chris Sarandon, Aubrey Morris, Corey Feldman, Angie Everhart, Phil Fondacaro, John Kassir(as the cryptkeeper) and William Sadler(as the mummy).

This is a very silly movie. After Katherine's(Eleniak) Gothic brother Kaleb(Feldman) goes missing, she calls on an investigator Rafe Guttman(Miller) to find him. The search ends at a whore house where he had gone earlier in the film. Chris Sarandon is so funny and over the top and really steals the show. He plays a crooked priest that sends sinners to their death at a bordello that Kaleb had gone to earlier. Angie Everhart plays the head vampire Lillith and is one of the worst actresses ever so lucky for you, she isn't in all that much of it, but she is in too much. The film has the minor subplot opening and closing of the cryptkeeper at a café with his old friend the mummy talking about how their tomb isn't big enough for the both of them.

My rating-6/10. rated R for nonstop nudity and sexual humor, strong language, some gory violence and a scene with some crude fart jokes.

Funny and entertaining

[stephen-59 · 8/10 · 10 August 1999]

I don't care what anyone say's this is a good movie. It's funny and really entertaining. There isn't a dull moment. But it doesn't really belong in the horror movie genre actually there is no genre for Horror/Comedy/Action/Porn.

Fun and cheesy B-movie flick

[ODDBear · 7/10 · 12 December 2008]

Well this is fun. Admittedly you have to be in the mood for a cheesy, somewhat silly B-movie horror flick but if you're in the right frame of mind this will do the trick.

Also, maybe it's better that you're somewhat fond of Dennis Miller, since he basically carries this vampire flick. He's never out of character and if you've seen him once on "The O'Reilly Factor"...that's in short what you'll get.

The story here...well, Miller plays a P.I. who uncovers a brothel full of vampires. In the great "Tales from the Crypt" tradition, this is full of great gore, low-brow humor and and a twist ending to boot.

The cast here is great, with lovely eye-candy's courtesy of Angie Everhart and Erika Eleniak, the slightly-better-half of the Corey's (that reminds me, I have to dig up "Licence to Drive" one of these days) and the sorely underrated Chris Sarandon hamming it up as a crazy preacher doin' the Lord's work in inventive ways.

While not as successful as "Demon Knight", "Bordello of Blood" is a fun horror flick that packs in a good dose of silly humor and gore. What's not to like?

Atrocious

[harryplinkett14 · 1/10 · 25 August 2013]

Words cannot describe just how bad this thing is. The plot is nonsensical, the characters empty, the dialogue beyond moronic, the action boring, the scares non-existent, the humour completely absent. Add to that poor direction and some of the most confusing editing ever witnessed in cinema... This is an orgy of stupidity and bad taste. It boggles the mind how a project like this ever got greenlighted.

Nothing in this film makes sense and apart from the stupidity one can't help but notice the nudity. I suppose the target audience for this were males between the ages of 12 and 16, with raging hormones, IQ below 70, and no sex life.

Who doesn't like a good piece of cheese?

[ZED-30 · 1 September 1999]

Let's face it...this was a B-movie, Universal just put some more money into it. They massacred the vampire lore, but since this is a B-movie, it doesn't matter. Dennis Miller is hilarious as always; and what cheesy horror flick is genuine without Corey Feldman. The only discrepancy I have with this movie are the Cryptkeeper segments. They were just a remake of a Cryptkeeper segment from a TV episode. The only difference was that William Sadler was dressed up as the mummy instead of the Grim Reaper (a reprisal of his role in "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey").

Dennis Miller + vampires = Fun!

[tbill · 6/10 · 7 October 2000]

Dennis Miller finding himself stuck in a gore flick is much funnier than I expected. Combine his sarcastic wit with a bunch of vampires and other things that go bump in the night and you'll have an idea of what you have to look forward to. Lots of blood, breasts and beasts for those who love such things, IYKWIM&ITYD.

Angie Everhart would never be attracted to Dennis Miller.

[freakfire-1 · 5/10 · 10 October 2008]

Why couldn't have people thought this up before 1996? You know, putting Dennis Miller in a horror/comedy where he has the chance of being eaten? Alas, this isn't for real and so Dennis Miller's chances of dying aren't as high.

This all surrounds a woman/vampire, Angie Everhart, who was brought back to life doing the work of a televangelist in a whore house/mortuary. Yes its a little corny but you have to work with it. A secret whore house at a mortuary is a little odd.

Like all movies of this caliber, it seems like the problem is solved. But only there is a small twist at the end. The twist is not entirely unexpected as is even modestly funny. But that is all I can give it.

Overall, the effects don't live up to today's standards and maybe not even 1996 ones. But the story isn't bad and the acting is alright. So it turns out average, which is good for a B-movie like this. "C"

More Fun Than Expected

[bettyconway · 7/10 · 23 January 2020]

The two Tales From the Crypt movies from the 90's at least got one thing right about the show - the sense of tongue in cheek fun. Bordello of Blood might seem like the kind of movie that's catering to young boys with it's mix of boobs and blood, but the rest of us might find it equally enjoyable if we just leave our expectations at the door and go along for the ride.

The humor is laid on pretty thick here (thicker than Demon Knight) as Dennis Miller's private investigator goes in search of a mega-church worker's brother who was last seen at a bordello (that also operates as a funeral home). Together, they uncover a secret brothel of sexy vampires.

There's a lot of funny material about the rise of mega-churches with Chris Sarandon's overenthusiastic celebrity pastor who broadcasts his church services on TV and is a horrible hypocrite himself. The gore effects are strong and gnarly and, yes, if you're looking for beautiful, bare-breasted women, you've come to the right place. Even better, the pacing of Bordello of Blood is so fast and furious that it's over before you know it, never outstaying its welcome or beating a dead horse for too long.

Ah, so that's where Corey Feldman went

[Smells_Like_Cheese · 5/10 · 11 January 2004]

I was starting to wonder. Well, I saw this movie on Comedy Central. And I was a little disturbed with the movie. It's kind of stupid. But I do love "Tales from the Crypt", so, I figured I'd go out and rent it. Without censorship. It's ok. Not my cup of tea. But I did get a couple laughs.

5/10

Entertaining Fluff

[kennymasterson · 7/10 · 12 October 2020]

A prim and proper religious woman hires a private detective to find her missing brother and he traces his last appearance to a mortuary that also doubles as a bordello at night. He also discovers that it's run by a bloodthirsty vampire who wants his blood next. Dennis Miller is amusing as the detective but Chris Sarandon seems to be having the time of his life riffing on cheesy TV televangelists and it makes you wish he was in the film more. Angie Everhart does better than most models turned actors and has enough charisma to be believable as an vampire seductress.

Dennis Miller fans might enjoy it--a bit, but no one else will.

[BlackMonk · 2/10 · 6 September 2000]

This is simply one more extremely bad vampire flick that occupies space in the "Horror" section of video stores. The notion of "plot" barely even punctures this movie. But Dennis Miller is, well, Dennis Miller. It is only because of him that I rented the movie, and only because of his wry, sarcastic comments that I finished watching it. If you're a Dennis Miller fan, then perhaps you should see Bordello of Blood. But don't rent it for its horror value--there is none.