Ed's Next Move (1996)
Matt Ross: Eddie
Quotes
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Eddie Brodsky : In some things, the more I analyze them the less clear they become.
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Eddie Brodsky : Four women in the same elevator. I haven't been with four women in the same time zone.
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Eddie Brodsky : Sex is not a transitive act. It is an intransitive act.
Ray Obregon : If you talk like that to her, it will be a non-existent act.
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Eddie Brodsky : First dates go better when nothing dies.
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[Ed envisions his breakup with translators to help]
Anne, Ed's ex : I'm like a balloon and you're like a rock.
Female Translator : I'm open to change. You're an immovable objest who can't see the benefit of a little risk.
Eddie Brodsky : I think you're wrong.
Male Translator : I'm right, as usual.
Anne, Ed's ex : I just think we need to take some time to rethink what we're doing together, maybe make some things a little less exclusive.
Female Translator : There's a guy at work who makes the zipper on my jeans melt.
Eddie Brodsky : (to translator) No.
Female Translator : Yes.
Eddie Brodsky : I don't think it's healthy for us to see other people.
Male Translator : If I see you with that guy, I'll kill him, and/or separate him from his most precious organ with a dull butter knife.
Anne, Ed's ex : Look, I just need to take some time to figure things out. I just need some time. Is that too much to ask?
Female Translator : Wake up, it's over.
Eddie Brodsky : My head hurts.
Male Translator : My head hurts.
Anne, Ed's ex : Call me later. I'll be home.
Female Translator : If you think I'm going to change my mind, you're dreaming.
Eddie Brodsky : Yeah...fine...alright...okay.
Male Translator : I cannot put into word the feelings raging within me at this moment. Suffice it to say I am now envisioning putting a gun to my head the moment you walk away from me.