Harland Williams: Sonar

Down Periscope

Sonar

Executive Officer Martin T. 'Marty' Pascal: Sonar Technician Second Class, E.T. Lovacelli, sir! Goes by the nickname "Sonar."
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Welcome aboard, Sonar.
"Sonar" Lovacelli: Uh, 'scuse me, sir. This is an actual Navy submarine? Not a float in a parade or something?
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Afraid so, Sonar.
"Sonar" Lovacelli: Huh... isn't that odd?
[he shuffles past Dodge and starts up the gangplank]
Lt. Comd. Dodge: [aside to Pascal] Don't tell me - deaf as Beethoven.
Executive Officer Martin T. 'Marty' Pascal: [whispering] Oh, no. Great ears, sir. Watch what you say around him, he hears everything. His last C.O. thought he was a security risk.
[at the top of the gangplank, Sonar turns around]
"Sonar" Lovacelli: [yells] Uh, excuse me, sir! I don't hear everything. And I'm quite trustworthy too.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Right.

"Sonar" Lovacelli: Approaching the bottom, sir. I can hear a couple of lobsters dukin' it out.

"Sonar" Lovacelli: [Whispering, and pointing straight up] Sir, it's the Orlando. Someone just dropped 45 cents.
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Are you sure?
"Sonar" Lovacelli: Oh, yeah. A quarter and 2 dimes.

Lt. Comd. Dodge: Hearing anything unusual, Sonar?
"Sonar" Lovacelli: Uh, nothing much, sir. Buckman's eating an Oreo up in the galley... Stepanak's taking a leak.

[Dodge releases the men from active duty]
Lt. Comd. Dodge: [quietly to himself] Live it up guys, you earned it.
[from twenty yards away, Sonar turns back to the captain]
"Sonar" Lovacelli: [shouting back] Thank you, sir! I'll try not to over-do it!

Lt. Comd. Dodge: [after evading the Orlando] Mr. Pascal, let's go to Charleston Harbor and blow something up.
Executive Officer Martin T. 'Marty' Pascal: Now we're talking.
"Sonar" Lovacelli: [concerned] Are we really gonna blow something up, sir?
Lt. Comd. Dodge: Oh no, Sonar. We just use flares.