Andrea Parker credited as playing...
Miss Parker • Catherine Parker
- Miss Parker: Why did you save my life?
- Jarod: Because I still remember the little girl who gave me my first kiss.
- Sydney: Good morning, Miss Parker. Broots.
- Broots: Sydney.
- Miss Parker: You're looking... refreshed.
- Sydney: New underpants will do that to you.
- [Miss Parker and Broots look at each other silently]
- Miss Parker: Sydney, you made a funny.
- Sydney: Stole it, I'm afraid. Last night, I went on a date.
- Broots: You had a date!
- Miss Parker: [to Broots] That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard.
- [to Sydney]
- Miss Parker: So, if it was a date, how can you be sure that those are *your* underpants?
- Miss Parker: You shouldn't underestimate Jarod. And you should never underestimate me. And the next time that you send me into a building that is gonna explode, it had better blow, because if it doesn't it's gonna be your gray matter they will be mopping up with a toothbrush.
- Broots: I found something bizarre.
- Miss Parker: What, like hair on your head?
- Broots: No, that would be fantasy. This is real.
- Miss Parker: Maybe I should send you to every Y.M.C.A. in the country first. Or lock you in the Bates Motel with Sydney and Broots.
- Jarod: This is about that strip search in Las Vegas, isn't it?
- Sydney: [laughing] Here I am, trying to comfort you.
- Miss Parker: [looking hurt] As if anything you could ever do would give me comfort?
- Sydney: [quickly sobers] It did once.
- Miss Parker: [about borrowing Angelo from Mr Raines] Uncle Fester will never know his Lurch is missing.
- Sydney: How come you know so much about Greek lore?
- Miss Parker: I did a lot of frat boys in college.
- [Miss Parker's phone rings at 3:44 a.m., waking her up]
- Miss Parker: What?
- Jarod: Oh, I intentially wake you in your deepest sleep phase and all I get is a lifeless 'what'?
- Miss Parker: [groans and bends over in pain] Oh, no.
- Sydney: Your ulcer? And no medication.
- Miss Parker: Ladies and gentlemen. The fabulous Sherlock Holmes.
- Miss Parker: [Referring to her nicotine patch] The only way this thing is gonna help me is if I roll it and smoke it.
- Sydney: You believe someone stole your mother's body?
- Miss Parker: Except for this Scotch-induced earthquake rattling between my ears, I'm not sure exactly what to believe anymore.
- Broots: Let's face it, Sydney. Catherine Parker's body being gone fits in with all the other bizarre happenings around here. The reappearance of Edna Raines, who, after 30 years, everyone thought was dead...
- Miss Parker: And now who really is dead, thanks to the Bald Butcher she called hubby.
- Miss Parker: Call the hotel and book us some rooms for this shindig.
- [puts unlit cigarette in mouth]
- Broots: Oh, Jarod already did.
- [Miss Parker lights cigarette]
- Broots: They're, uh, non-smoking rooms.
- Miss Parker: [takes drag and smiles] Perfect.
- [exhales smoke]