A Goofy Movie (1995)
Bill Farmer: Goofy
Photos
Quotes
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Max : Now look where you got us, Dad!
Goofy : Where *I* got us?
Max : You should've let me stay at home!
Goofy : Why? So you'd end up in prison?
Max : Prison? What are you talking about?
Goofy : Your principal called me!
Max : It's not what you think, Dad!
Goofy : You even lied to me!
Max : I had to! You were ruining my life!
Goofy : I was only tryin' to take my boy fishin', okay?
Max : I'm not your little boy anymore, Dad! I've grown up! I've got my own life now!
Goofy : I know that! I just wanted to be part of it.
[calmer]
Goofy : You're my son, Max. No matter how big you get, you'll always be my son.
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Goofy : [talking to Principal Mazur on the phone] Hello?
Principal Mazur : Yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Goofy : Max? Oh my gosh! Is he hurt?
Principal Mazur : No, Mr. Goof. He's in trouble!
Goofy : Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Principal Mazur : Dressed like a gang member...
Goofy : Gang member?
Principal Mazur : ...your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Goofy : Riot? It couldn't be my...
Principal Mazur : If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child before he ends up IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!
[Mazur slams down the phone]
Goofy : [shocked] The electric chair?
[sits and hangs up awestruck]
Goofy : What am I going to do?...
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[Goofy and Pete settle into a hot tub at a motel]
Pete : So, uh, you and your son seem to be getting along just hunky-dorey, huh?
Goofy : Yeah, it's been great. You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked.
Pete : Oh, that's swell. So, uh, no problems then, huh?
Goofy : Not a one.
Pete : [sighs] I... I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, uh...
Goofy : What is it, Pete?
Pete : Your kid's dupin' ya.
Goofy : What do you mean?
Pete : Well, I heard the little mutant telling PJ that he changed the map so... you're headin' straight to L.A., pal.
Goofy : [shocked] What?
Pete : Oh, you tried, Goof. He's just a bad kid, that's all.
Goofy : I don't believe you.
Pete : What?
Goofy : I don't believe you, Pete.
Pete : Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map.
Goofy : I don't need to check the map. I trust my son.
[Goofy climbs out of the tub]
Goofy : You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but... he loves me.
Pete : [irritably] Hey, *my* son *respects* me.
Goofy : Yeah...
[Goofy leaves]
Pete : [calling after him] Check the map, Goof!
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Goofy : I saved the best for last. It's been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof, and now, it's yours, son.
Max : A stick?
Goofy : No, silly. A fishing pole!
Max : Fishing? We're going fishing?
Goofy : Yup. Just like my dad and me did - two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny *away from it all*!
Max : I don't want to be *away from it all*, Dad, I like *it all*.
Goofy : Look, Maxie. We're using the same map me and my dad used. We'll take the same route, make the same stops, see the same sights.
Max : But that trip will take weeks, Dad!
Goofy : Exactly! Getting there is half the fun!
Max : Put the map away, Dad. It's not gonna happen.
Goofy : Careful, son! You'll ruin my past... and our future. What the map says... we will follow.
Max : That's very mystical and everything, Dad, but there's seriously this party I have to...
Goofy : Oh, there will be plenty of time for parties when you're older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age, I'd never even been invited to a party. Look at me now!
Max : Great, Dad.
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Max : [writing] Dear Roxanne, couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd drop you a line. My dad and I are having a great time. We're only days away from L.A., and I can hardly wait for the big concert!
Goofy : [in his sleep] More "Hi, Dad" soup, please?
Max : [writing] Dear Roxanne, sorry I lied, I'm not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never want to see me again...
[speaking]
Max : Oh, man! I'm dead no matter what I do!
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[the first day of Goofy's road trip]
Goofy : [holding a video camera while driving] Day 1: Well, here we are, out on the open road, retracing the steps of my boyhood. And here's...
[he aims the camera toward a brooding Max]
Goofy : Maxie! Say, "Hi", Max!
[Max pays no attention]
Goofy : Well, how about a wave?
Max : [putting his hand in front of the camera lens] Not now, Dad.
Goofy : [laughing] What a kidder.
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Goofy : Well, I think the only thing for us to do now is to get you up on stage with this Powerline feller.
Max : How are we gonna do that?
Goofy : Now, you just leave that up to me.
Max : No, Dad, really. I think we should just forget it.
Goofy : Now, how come you always think I'm gonna lead you into some sort of calamity?
Max : Uh, d-d-d-dad?
Goofy : What's wrong now?
Max : Look!
[Max turns Goofy around; he sees that they are headed for a waterfall]
Goofy : Hyuk, a waterfall.
[alarmed]
Goofy : A waterfall?
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[Goofy pulls the cigarette lighter out of the dashboard to heat soup]
Goofy : It's nice to know this thing's good for somethin'.
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[Goofy and Max are trapped by Bigfoot in their car, and it is about Max's suppertime. They are waiting for his soup to warm up, and Goofy starts chuckling with his mouth closed]
Max : What's so funny?
Goofy : "Hi Dad" soup.
Max : Huh?
Goofy : Don't tell me you don't remember "Hi Dad" soup? Oh, come on. Sure you do. You used to spell things out using the letters. Like, uh, "Hi Dad", or "Maxie" ,or...
Max : "Ambidextrous"?
Goofy : Yeah, that's... Huh? Naaa, little words, like, uh...
Max : "Hasta la vista"?
Goofy : Like "bye-bye".
Max : Or "I pledge allegiance"-...
Goofy : A-hyuk, or "I love you."
[They suddenly get a shock of sadness, then turn to face at the windshield]
Max : [happy again] Is it, uh, is it soup yet?
Goofy : Oh, oh. I almost forgot.
[Punches holes in can with buck teeth]
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Max : But, Dad, I don't even know how to fish.
Goofy : That's never stopped me. I'm gonna show you a little secret that has been handed down for twelve or thirteen Goof generations: the Perfect Cast.
Max : The perfect what?
Goofy : The Perfect Cast. My dad taught it to me when I was your age, and now I pass it on to you. Watch carefully now. You gotta stay loose, relaxed. Keep your feet apart. Now, ten o'clock, two o'clock, quarter to three, tour jeté, twist, pas de deux, I'm a little teapot, then the windup... and let 'er fly! The Perfect Cast.
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Pete : Since we're all being palsy-walsy, how about letting me hook up the RV?
Goofy : Well...
Pete : Oh, it's just a tiny little extension cord, you won't even notice it.
Goofy : Oh, okay.
Pete : Great. P.J.!
[P.J. comes hauling a huge extension cord]
Pete : Hey, Goof, why don't you order us a pizza? This could take a while.
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Goofy : [singing] Do you need a break from modern living? Do you long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried, just grab a friend and take a ride, together upon the open road.
[spoken]
Goofy : C'mon, Maxie!
Max : [singing] All in all, I'd rather have detention. All in all, I'd rather eat a toad. And the old man drives like such a klutz that I'm about to hurl my guts directly upon the open road.
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Goofy : Came to see if you had any dirty clothes.
Max : There they are. Help yourself.
Goofy : Max, I thought we talked about this.
Max : Sorry, Dad. I'll take care of it later.
Goofy : What's the big rush?
Max : I'm running late.
Goofy : I can drive you to school on my way to work.
Max : Oh, no thanks. I need the exercise.
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Max : [singing] So your jokes are all, let's face it, prehistoric.
Goofy : [singing] And your music sounds like monkeys in a zoo.
Max , Goofy : [singing in unison] But when life becomes distressing, who will I be S-O-S-ing?
Max : [singing] If you're having trouble guessing, here's a clue: though he seems intoxicated, he's just highly animated, and he's nobody else but...
Max , Goofy : [singing in unison] Nobody else but you. We've turned into a true blue duo. Hard times, we've had a few...
Goofy : [singing] Like we're thrown in the drink...
Max : [singing] Like we're tossed out of town...
Max , Goofy : [singing in unison] But when I start to sink, hey, I'd rather go down, with nobody else but Y-O-U!
[Goofy kisses Max]
Max : [annoyed] Aw, Dad!
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[Goofy and Max have stopped bickering about the car, the vacation and Max's life]
Max : [singing] There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas, and your mind is missing, no offense, a screw.
Goofy : None taken.
Max : [singing] Still, whatever mess I land in, who is always understandin'? Nobody else but you.
Goofy : [singing] Oh, your moodiness is now and then bewildering, and your values may be, so to speak, askew.
Max : [spoken] Gesundheit.
Goofy : [spoken] Thanks.
[singing]
Goofy : Who deserves a hero's trophy as we face each catastrophe? Nobody else but you.
Max , Goofy : [singing in unison] Nobody else but you. It's just our luck. We're stuck together. Nobody else but you. It's crazy enough to believe we'll come through.
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Goofy : [Bigfoot has parked himself on top of the car and fallen asleep] Well, we might as well get some shuteye. I don't think we're going anywhere tonight.
[Goofy curls up to sleep, and Max taps him on the shoulder and hands him the cup of alphabet soup in which he has spelled out "Hi Dad." Max falls asleep, and Goofy tries to hold back tears]
Goofy : Hi, Maxie.
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Goofy : Hey, Maxie, let's play a game. You think of a name, and I'll try and guess who it is! Uh, man or woman?
Max Goof : Man...
Goofy : Man?
[thinks for a moment]
Goofy : Hmm, that's a toughie... Walt Disney!
Max Goof : [uninterested] Right.
Goofy : Ooh, I'm good at this. Now, uh, I'll think of one! Hmm...
[Goofy's thought is interrupted by hard rock music blaring from the car stereo. Surprised, he looks at Max, who is busy playing air guitar, while listening to the music]
Goofy : [shouting over the music] Oh, you wanna sing a song, huh?
[reaches down to a line of 8-track cassettes on the center console and picks up a blue one]
Goofy : Me and my dad used to sing this one all the time!
[puts the tape in the stereo's tape deck, starts it playing and sings along off-key. Max looks at Goofy in disbelief]
Goofy , Recorded music : [singing] High hopes, he's got high hopes, he's got high, apple pie in the sky, hopes...
[Annoyed, Max flips back over to the radio and continues his air guitar, interrupting Goofy's song. Unfazed, Goofy turns the tape back on and continues singing, angering Max even further]
Goofy , Recorded music : Oops, there goes another rubber tree...
[Max turns his music back on. The situation escalates into a dispute, and Goofy and Max switch music faster and faster, all the way exchanging dirty looks]
Recorded music : Oops, there goes ano-- oops, there goes-- oops-- oops--
[Finally Goofy and Max both jam their buttons at the same time by accident, causing the stereo to mangle the tape and blow up in a puff of smoke]
Max Goof : [angrily] Oh, g-great, Dad! Now we don't have any music.
[resumes glumly looking out the window]
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Goofy : [singing] There's nothin' can upset me cause now we're on our way. Our trusty map will guide us straight and true.
Max Goof : [singing] Roxanne, please don't forget me. I will return someday. Though I may be in traction when I do.
Goofy : [singing] Me and Max relaxing like the old days.
Max Goof : [singing] This is worse than dragon breath and acne.
Max Goof : [singing] In a buddy-buddy kind of mode.
Max Goof : [singing] I'm so mad, I think I may explode.
Goofy : [singing] When I see that highway, I could cry!
Max Goof : [singing] You know, that's funny. So could I.
Goofy , Max Goof : [singing] Just bein' out on the open road!
