Gensomaden Saiyuki (2000–2001)

Braden Hunt: Cho Hakkai

Quotes 

• Sha Gojyo : [cracks open a beer and takes a swig]  Goddamn it, this one's hot. Goku, get me another beer.

  Goku : Get your own beer, jerkoff!

  Sha Gojyo : Okay, you're gonna get me another beer or I'm gonna take this can and shove it up your whiney little ass! You got that?

  Goku : You just try and see what happens, ya shithead!

  Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah?

  Goku : You're just looking for an excuse to touch my ass, aren't you?

  Genjo Sanzo : [sighs]  Please ...

  Sha Gojyo : You little fag! Don't project your fantasies on me!

  Goku : All right, that's it! Pull over, I'm taking him out!

  Genjo Sanzo : Your little unrequited love affair is starting to get on my nerves! Get a room!

  [Gojyo and Goku fall silent] 

  Cho Hakkai : Good move there, uh, Sanzo.

  Genjo Sanzo : I thought so, thanks.

  Cho Hakkai : Oh, my, awful quiet back there guys. Are you two making out?

  Sha Gojyo : Shut up, Hakkai.

  Goku : Yeah, shut up.

• Goku : [laughing]  You, a holy man? Yeah, right!

  Sha Gojyo : [laughing, mimicking Yoh]  I cannot tell you what this means to me. Do no hesitate to call my name!

  Cho Hakkai : [laughing]  You know what this means, don't you?

  [the three become very serious] 

  Goku , Sha Gojyo , Cho Hakkai : He doesn't know you very well.

  [they break into laughter again] 

• Cho Hakkai : Oh, dear!

  Hakuryu : Miaow!

• Goku : Oh, great, the carnival's in town.

  Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah. I'd like to show a couple of those little carnival hotties what kind of action's going on under my big top.

  Cho Hakkai : [blows a whistle]  Too much information!

• [a demon flies into the hall through Goku's closed door] 

  Cho Hakkai : Are you all right, Goku?

  Goku : [sleepily]  Wha? I'm fine. I had the weirdest dream.

  Cho Hakkai : More like a nightmare, my friend.

  Sha Gojyo : He did this in his sleep? That's bullshit.

• Genjo Sanzo : I'm sorry, I can't concentrate. Not with those two morons in the back.

  Cho Hakkai : [happily]  I'm trying to ignore them!

  Genjo Sanzo : Really? How's it going?

  Cho Hakkai : Not so good.

• Sha Gojyo : [analyzing their foe]  So, whadda ya think, Goku?

  Goku : Seems like an asshole and he's got bad hair. I say minus twenty points.

  Cho Hakkai : Take off another fifteen. His clothes are lame and he smells.

  Monk 3, Demon 3 : [laughing until he realizes they're talking about him]  Huh? How dare you! How dare you mock me!

  Goku : Oh! Dude! Bad teeth! Take off another five!

  [the demon throws his ax at Gojyo and misses] 

  Sha Gojyo : Bad aim. That's another ten.

• Genjo Sanzo : And you're not all that bright either. Take away another forty-five.

  Goku : Nice shot.

  Cho Hakkai : With that many points, he's definitely out of the game.

• Cho Hakkai : They didn't drive all this way just to see us, did they?

  Goku : I'm not so sure that truck is road worthy.

  Cho Hakkai : [laughs]  How much you wanna bet they had to push that thing all the way here?

• Goku : But there are still some spring rolls left!

  Sha Gojyo : Beer!

  Cho Hakkai : Yes, yes, I know. But if we don't hurry, Sanzo really will shoot us.

  Goku : Spring rolls!

  Sha Gojyo : Beer!

  Genjo Sanzo : Slowpokes!

  [fires two shots] 

• Hotel Clerk : I know, I have an idea. How about I lay a bunch of blankets on the floor for you guys and you can all sleep together.

  Genjo Sanzo , Sha Gojyo , Goku , Cho Hakkai : Sleep together?

• Cho Hakkai : It's such an eerie feeling, though. How he actually seems to anticipate our every move.

  Genjo Sanzo : That's not hard with these two.

  Sha Gojyo , Goku : What did you say?

• Sha Gojyo : I'll be damned. He's sleeping with eyes open.

  [grabs Goku and starts shaking him] 

  Sha Gojyo : That's just too goddamned creepy!

  Genjo Sanzo : Shut up or I'll kill you!

  Cho Hakkai : That's too weird. Sanzo shouts in his sleep.

• Cho Hakkai : Destroying that which you hate will not create the world you long for, I promise.

• Genjo Sanzo : I wish that stupid monkey would just shut the hell up.

  Sha Gojyo : Whoo-hee, he's giving me a pounding headache.

  Cho Hakkai : Hey, come one, bring on the booze!

  Sha Gojyo : Come to think of it, I've never actually seen Hakkai drunk before.

  Cho Hakkai : We might have underestimated him.

• Eldest Fei Brother : What's wrong, Goldilocks? You look woozy. That all you got?

  [pauses] 

  Eldest Fei Brother : I didn't hurt your feelings, did I, pretty boy?

  Genjo Sanzo : Heh, heh, heh, heh ...

  Cho Hakkai : S-Sanzo?

  Genjo Sanzo : You dumb bastard. You actually have the gall to mock me, do you? Maten ...

  Cho Hakkai : [clamps his hand over Sanzo's mouth]  Please! Don't you think unleashing a scripture that controls heaven and earth is a little severe?

• General Kenren : So come on, guys, if you've been wanting a piece of me, here's your chance.

  [laughs] 

  Field Marshall Tenpou : You just had to rile them up, didn't you?

• Genjo Sanzo : Tell me, why is this brat still around?

  Cho Hakkai : Put down the gun.

  Yaone : Since we were here, I figured we would enjoy the festival.

• Cho Hakkai : Look, Sanzo, you're gonna totally look like and old man if you're tense all the time. You should learn to relax a little bit. It wouldn't kill ya.

• Cho Hakkai : I feel like the mouse the cat plays with before it's going to kill it.

• Sha Gojyo : Either they're really confident, really polite, or really bored.

  Cho Hakkai : I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say all of the above.

  Sha Gojyo : Or this could be their way of flirting with one of us.

• Konzen Douji : Tell me, are you and Kenren sharing the same stylist?

  Field Marshal Tenpou : Yes, and I think the fashion is bound to catch on eventually!

  General Kenren : Don't I look more rugged?

• Cho Hakkai : Regrets are just a way for the foolish and the guilty to pass the time.

• Cho Hakkai : By the way, I'm willing to bet I'm the first guy you've ever held in your arms.

  Sha Gojyo : That's right, never again.

• Cho Hakkai : Okay, I'll stay. But I want you to know that I reserve the right to walk at any time I deem fit.

  Genjo Sanzo : Just take me with you.

• Cho Hakkai : Ladies, ladies, please.

• Cho Hakkai : Without the limitor he's reverted to his original form. The creature conceived in a giant stone where the earthly auras gather. The great sage, Goku.

• Merciful Goddess : I got it. Nothing is impossible for me.

  [childish chanting over Hakkai and Jiroushin's dialogue] 

  Merciful Goddess : Nothing is impossible for me. I'm a goddess, I can do whatever I want to! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  Cho Hakkai : Oohhkaaay... Are goddesses always this sure of themselves?

  Cho Hakkai : Oh, boy. Just try working for one.

• Genjo Sanzo : I'm crashing. Anyone wakes me up, cut their nuts off.

  Cho Hakkai : [short laugh]  Go to sleep.

• Cho Hakkai : When they get like this, I usually just like to go to my own happy place.

  Genjo Sanzo : Are you really able to tune them out?

  Cho Hakkai : Mmmm, nope.

• Cho Hakkai : Oh, my, he sure is good at taming wild animals.

• Yaone : Hello!

  Cho Hakkai : What's up?

  Yaone : I was wondering, if you're not doing anything, would you consider maybe being my opponent? If you want to.

  Cho Hakkai : Why, I would be honored.

• Cho Hakkai : You said it was easy to find the crevices of my heart. Well, my heart isn't big enough for crevices.

• Genjo Sanzo : Sheesh. I thought one Goku was bad enough.

  Sha Gojyo : You should think of all of the trouble they'll cause for other folks.

  Cho Hakkai : Besides, illegal copies are an infringement of copyright.

• Cho Hakkai : We wouldn't be on this journey unless we were all a bunch of idiots.

• Goku : I'm so stuffed!

  Cho Hakkai : [laughs]  I'd never thought I'd live to hear those world pass through your lips, Goku.

• Goku : Why would a demon com all that way just to eat a Sanzo? Are Sanzos that tasty?

  Sha Gojyo : Now don't you go getting any funny ideas, hear me?

  Genjo Sanzo : I seem to recall the spider woman saying something about eating holy monks. Interesting. Apparently a healthy serving of monks helps you live longer.

  Cho Hakkai : So eating a high ranking monk like a Sanzo is as good as eating your fruits and vegetables when you're a demon, is that it?

  Sha Gojyo : You've got to be shitting me.

• Cho Hakkai : Being a Sanzo doesn't necessarily make you as strong as a demon. He was probably a proper, serious, ordinary, very devout Sanzo.

  Sha Gojyo , Goku : Oh, right, gotcha.

  Genjo Sanzo : What do you mean by that?

• Genjo Sanzo : [gasps in pain after being kicked by Goku]  Ow, that hurt. What'd you do that for?

  Goku : Berate me. Go ahead and strike me with your little paper fan. That's what the Sanzo priest I know would do.

  Cho Hakkai : [voice over]  Sanzo's rage vanished instantly. The Sanzo priest was really no match for the monkey's wit.

• Cho Hakkai : I think Sanzo's starting to warm up a little.

  Sha Gojyo : He can be twisted at times, but

  [lisping] 

  Sha Gojyo : it's kinda nice to see his feminine side.

• Bat Demon : Come, don't be shy. Let's get a look at that pretty little face of yours.

  [chuckling, he removes the hood to reveal Hakkai] 

  Bat Demon : Huh?

  Cho Hakkai : Don't tell me you didn't see this one coming. Oh, well. So how 'bout it tall, dark, handsome, and horrible? I do hope you're into the rough stuff.

• Sha Gojyo : You, dying of hunger? That's I'd like to see.

  Genjo Sanzo : What's wrong, Goku?

  [Goku faints] 

  Cho Hakkai : Goku!

  Sha Gojyo : I'll go get you some food right away! Just hold on! Don't die on me monkey.

  [Goku sits up happily] 

  Goku : In that case, I'll take some pot stickers.

  [Gojyo smacks him] 

• Lirin : Okay, bald Sanzo, here I come!

  Genjo Sanzo : Goku, you fight her.

  Goku : Oh, kick ass! Why'd you choose me?

  Sha Gojyo : Makes sense. She's your size.

  Goku : But Hakkai's the one who's good with children.

  Cho Hakkai : No, no! Gojyo's the one that's good with women.

  Sha Gojyo : Yeah, but she's, she's Sanzo's girlfriend.

  Genjo Sanzo : You're askin' for it.

• Goku : [looking at the sunset]  It's more beautiful than a meat bun!

  Sha Gojyo : That's quite an endorsement.

  Cho Hakkai : Come to think of it, we're always heading towards the setting sun, aren't we?

  [sigh] 

  Cho Hakkai : Ah, sweet youth!

  Sha Gojyo : [bursts out laughing]  Ah sweet youth!

  [keeps laughing] 

  Cho Hakkai : It wasn't that bad, now was it?

• Cho Hakkai : Boy we sure did leave a mess.

  Sha Gojyo : And trash pickup isn't until Thursday.

• Sha Gojyo : It looks like a giant turd.

  Cho Hakkai : You are so grossing me out, you know that?

• Goku : All these vegatables are giving me gas.

  Cho Hakkai : Well, they're Buddists and they're monks... and if you think about farting I'll kill you.

• Goku : [running and holding Hakkai's leg for protection]  You said Sanzo would be forgiving, but he's not.

  Cho Hakkai : That's why I added to probably.