W.E.: You get to running with the wrong crowd, wind up in the reformatory. No respect. No discipline. That's the problem. Family values have gone straight to hell.
Darla: Nobody gives a damn about that door. Hey, mister, I've had it with you. I'm so sick and tired of you trying to stir up trouble between me and Vilmer.
W.E.: You're the one causing problems! Ever since you got here, you been nothing but trouble.
Vilmer: My brother here is tired of what's-her-name's face, and he wants a new one. It just so happens to be, he wants this face right here!
Rothman: [in the back-seat of his limousine] This... all of this... It's been an abomination. You really must accept my sincere apologies. It was supposed to be a spiritual experience. I can't tell you how... disappointed I am... I suppose it's something we all live with... raison d'être. It's never been easy for me. One of my many failings.
Rothman: Would you like to go to the local hospital... or to a police station?
Sean: [they are all riding in a car together] Barry used to come over to my house all the time. And he'd be laughing about all the girls he'd felt up. His big line was to tell them that his father was a doctor, and that they could get breast cancer if they didn't get felt up enough...
Darla: [Darla puts Heather out with a fire extinguisher] Now why'd you have to do that? You know I can never get that smell outta my clothes.
Heather: Wait, wait, wait, I just thought of something so cool. What if we got into a wreck and we crashed into a car in front of us and we all died. They could write a song about it!
Heather: Barry, wait, stop... what if there are murderers and they want us to follow them so they could hide behind trees and stab us? There could be dead people buried all around us and you'd never know, and they'd lock us up in their cellars and no one will ever hear us.
Barry: That's dumb, there aren't any cellars in the houses around here.
Heather: Alright, don't call me "dumb," Barry. I may not be the smartest person in the world, but I'm not stupid.
Barry: What about the service station across the road? You think maybe somebody there could give us a ride?
Darla: [scoffs] That old man? He is liable to shoot first and ask questions later.
Heather: I had these dreams about some murderer following me through the woods and it's coming true. I'm sorry but we're all going to die. Like that murderer in Chicago. He killed people and put their hearts in refrigerators. He's gonna kill us, they are gonna show our pictures of us naked, with our hearts torn out, in "A Current Affair".
Vilmer: [walking closer to Sean] Well, first, I'm gonna kill you. It ain't no fuckin biggie.
[Sean runs]
Vilmer: Of course, it's different for every individual.
Couple In RV: There's a monster chasing her with a chainsaw. Step on it Mr. Spodish!
Darla: [noticing Jenny staring at her breasts] Phony as $3 bills. Changed my life, though. You know what? The minute I showed up with these, every peanut farmer in the county thought he was "God's gift to women." What the hell, I doubled my commissions in the first 6 months.
Rothman: [grabbing hold of Vilmer] Fuck! This is appalling. You are here for one reason, and one reason only. Do you understand that? I want to hear you say you understand that. No? It's very simple. I want these people to know the meaning of horror... horror... is that clear? You don't want to be a silly boy. Is... that... clear?
Vilmer: [slicing his chest with a razor] What if I do this?
Barry: There's no place to turn around... there's never any place to turn around! This sucks! Assholes don't know how to make roads...
Barry: [earlier in the movie, Barry had said that his father is a doctor] Hey, if I go in there, that's kidnapping. My father is a lawyer so I know what I'm talking about, okay.
W.E.: Among other evils which being unarmed brings you, it causes you to be despised. That's Niccolo Machiavelli. Now git!
Barry: Okay, okay. I need to use your bathroom anyway.
Heather: No, that's what they want, for us to go wandering around the dark... We need to stay here and start a fire.
W.E.: [quoting literature while holding teen at gunpoint] "I propose to fight it out on this line if it takes all summer." That's Ulysses S. Grant. But you wouldn't know that would you? Cuz' you're a bonafide moron.
[first lines]
Narrator: August 18, 1973. News of a bizarre, chainsaw wielding family - reports which were to ignite the world's imagination - began to filter out of central Texas. Regrettably not one of the family members was ever apprehended and for more than ten years nothing further was heard. Then, over the next several years at least two minor, yet apparently related incidents, were reported. Then again nothing. For five long years silence...