Karyn Parsons nel ruolo di...
Emily Walburn
- Emily: [She and Tiger enter Major Payne's office] Apparently he had a little accident.
- Major Payne: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants.
- Emily: Well maybe that's because he's six.
- Major Payne: Because he's six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.
- Major Payne: Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up.
- Emily: Excuse me, what did you say?
- Major Payne: I didn't stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth AND STOP BABYING HIM.
- Emily: I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing.
- Major Payne: And I call it neutering.
- Emily: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, dictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE!
- Major Payne: I ain't frigid.
- Major Payne: Maybe I like you.
- Emily: Just like?
- Major Payne: Maybe I like you a lot.
- Emily: That's it?
- Major Payne: Don't push the "maybes", baby.
- Emily: He's trying to show you some affection.
- Major Payne: I don't like it. It makes me feel all funny.
- Maj. Benson Payne: [sees Tiger peeking his head into the office] What do you want, Mr. Pee-Body?
- Emily Walburn: [as Tiger walks up to her] He's a little upset about this morning. Apparently, he had a little accident.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Apparently, he pissed all over the front of his pants.
- Emily Walburn: Well, maybe that's because he's six.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Maybe cause he six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.
- Major Payne: I surprised you ain't dropped 'bout 12 puppies by now. Ain't you never been married?
- Emily: Yeah, I was.
- Major Payne: What happened? You terminate his command?
- Emily: No, actually he left. I wanted children, he didn't.
- Major Payne: Any man that'd leave you outta be monkey-stomped and have his brains mailed back to his mother.
- Emily: Well, thank you Benson. How about you? Was there ever a Ms. Payne?
- Major Payne: Negative. I figure if the Marines wanted me to have a wife, they'd of issued me one.
- [Major Payne has shaved the children bald]
- Emily: Major Payne, can you please help me to understand why you shaved the children bald?
- Major Payne: Oh, that's my little incentive program. These boys have to earn their do... their hair-do that is. Heh,Heh,Heh.
- Emily: Major! What are the boys doing in those dresses?
- Major Benson Winifred Payne: They puttin' on a fashion show.
- Emily: I thought we had a little talk about this kind of negative reinforcement. Weren't you going to be my big helper?
- Major Benson Winifred Payne: Yeah, but they started it.
- Emily: Well, I'm stopping it.
- [Reaches for Payne's whistle]
- Major Benson Winifred Payne: Don't touch my whistle.
- Emily: But I was just gonna...
- Major Benson Winifred Payne: Don't touch the whistle.
- [Blows the whistle]
- Major Benson Winifred Payne: All right, ladies. Take off those dresses. Head back to your barracks. Fold 'em up neatly. Let's move it.
- Emily: Here. I want you to read this book. Read it. Apply it.
- Major Payne: The ABC's Of Being A Positive Male Role Model?