Kathleen Turner: Jane Blue

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Jane Blue

Jane Blue: Let me see if I understand this correctly. You took our child into a knife fight?
Jeff Blue: It was a fair fight - two of them, two of us...

Det. Sgt. Halsey: [watching as Jeff walks out to a parade of jazz musicians and borrows a trumpet to play] That's your husband.
Jane Blue: I know.
Det. Sgt. Halsey: Does he know how to play the trumpet?
Jane Blue: Apparently.

Jeff Blue: [to Frank] Did we ever thank you for that crib blanket?
Jane Blue: Oh no, honey, the White House sent the crib blanket. Frank sent the Fisher-Price Barnyard.
Jeff Blue: You sent that? Aw, do you know those cows really moo?
Jane Blue: Jeff plays with it day and night.

Jeff Blue: Oh, hi guys. Hey, you can go to a strip joint. We're just going to spend a quiet evening at home.
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: Oh, thanks. We appreciate that, *Mr.* Blue.
Jane Blue: Oh, anything we can do to make your lives easier.
Det. Sgt. Halsey: Isn't the baby a little young for dolls?
Jeff Blue: Oh, it's for me. It's a post-feminist doll.
Jane Blue: Yeah. Goes to work with little sneakers on, but resents it.
Jeff Blue: See ya.
Jane Blue: Night.
Det. Sgt. Halsey: Bye.
[to Ted]
Det. Sgt. Halsey: You know, they're really very interesting people.

Jane Blue: [to Sawyer] Jeff's a lousy shot. He had to bribe the examiner at the FBI.
Jeff Blue: That's a lie. I bribed the guy at the CIA. I *blackmailed* the guy at the FBI.

Jane Blue: [crawls in the bedroom window of the hotel, begins to take off the bag lady costume] You know, I don't believe men.
[takes out fake teeth]
Jane Blue: You know three guys tried to pick me up, tonight?
Jeff Blue: Oh well, I can understand that.
Jane Blue: You can?
Jeff Blue: Yeah.
Jane Blue: My mother was right about you.
[she continues removing pieces of clothing]
Jane Blue: So, did she wake up?
Jeff Blue: Just once, around midnight, just wanted to be held. So, so, so, tell me, tell me; how'd it go? Did Morty go for it?
Jane Blue: [lifts her shirt and lets the fake stomach fall away] Of course he went for it.
[she removes her wig]
Jane Blue: God, I am so tired...
Jeff Blue: [he flips across the bed and grabs her before she can remove any more of her costume, while making a negative grunting sound, and then pulls her down onto the bed and climbs on top of her] Keep the makeup on!
Jane Blue: Why?
Jeff Blue: [grins] I don't know, it's kind of a... a turn on!
Jane Blue: Yaaahhhh! You disgust me!
[playfully hits Jeff and wrestles with him]

Jane Blue: [whispering to Jeff in the hall after they've return to find their hotel room door open] One man on the couch, reading.
Jeff Blue: A *literate* burglar? How refreshing!

Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: My source at the FBI said they didn't think you were, and I quote, "Bureau material."
Jeff Blue: That's true. I'm more of an end table.
Jane Blue: I always thought of you as a dining room chair.
Jeff Blue: Really? I see you as a rosewood armoire with really nice drawers.

Jane Blue: [Jane has just disarmed Muerte and thrown him into a wall, knocking him senseless] I can't leave you alone for a minute.
Jeff Blue: This wasn't my fault.
Jane Blue: Nothing's ever your fault. You gonna kill him?
Jeff Blue: Aren't we bloodthirsty today? I told you not to drink all that coffee.

Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: What just happened here?
Jeff Blue: I'd say it was a domestic disturbance.
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: A domestic disturbance?
Jeff Blue: Yeah like on the Honeymooners. You remember how Ralph used to fight with Alice.
Det. Sgt. Halsey: I don't recollect Ralph using semi-automatic weapons.
Jane Blue: But Norton sometimes did. And Mrs. Manacotti on the third floor, wow what a temper.

Jane Blue: [while she and Jeff are kissing on the bed] Kill the light.
[Jeff quickly flips off of her, smashes the lamp against the wall, and the flips back over on top of her. She starts laughing]
Jane Blue: I meant turn it off.

Jane Blue: We can tell you part of the story.
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: You can tell me all of the story.
Jeff Blue: Part or nothing.
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: Well, how about we bust your ass for B and E.
Jane Blue: Well, how about we talk to that nice governor of yours.
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: [beat] Okay, tell me part of the story.
Jeff Blue: Well, it's hard to know where to begin. My father was a steam fitter, and...
Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: Come on man, the *relevant* part.

Jane Blue: [Jane, disguised as the bag lady sits next to Muerte at the bar] I know you!
Muerte: Everybody know me! I am Muerte!
Jane Blue: You're the guy that got stomped, by that guy and the baby! Heh Heh!
Muerte: Hey! Don't provoke me! OK?
Jane Blue: You wanna get back at him? I know someone who will pay big!
Muerte: You don't know nada.
Jane Blue: OK! I don't know *nada*. But this guy, said *Muerte*, he's the guy for the job!
[starts to get up]
Muerte: Wait!
[grabs Jane by the arm forcing her to sit back down]
Muerte: Who told you this?
Jane Blue: You gotta buy me a drink first.
Muerte: What would you like?

Jane Blue: [Muerte has been disarmed and Jeff has his arm in a hold when Jane approaches them, carrying shopping bags] Now what?
Jeff Blue: Oh, hi, hon. You remember, I told you about Morty. Morty, this is Jane.
[pushes Muerte towards Jane]
Jane Blue: Oh, hi, Morty, look it's nice to meet you, but we've just got so much shopping to do...
Muerte: [pulls another switchblade from his boot and points it at her] Shut up! Shut up! You die too!
Jane Blue: Oh for God's sakes...

Jeff Blue: [Jeff and Jane have broken into a dead man's house to search it] That's funny.
Jane Blue: What?
Jeff Blue: A shoe.
Jane Blue: And?
Jeff Blue: It's got a foot in it.

Jeff Blue: I was walking at 8 months.
Jane Blue: You were walking at a year and a half. Your mother was ready to call in specialists.