The Sandlot (1993)

Grant Gelt: Bertram Grover Weeks

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face] 

  Phillips : It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.

  Benny Rodriguez : Shut your mouth, Phillips!

  Ham Porter : What'd you say, crap face?

  Phillips : You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.

  Ham Porter : Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!

  Sandlot Kids : Yeah!

  Phillips : We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.

  Ham Porter : Watch it, jerk!

  Phillips : Shut up, idiot!

  Ham Porter : Moron!

  Phillips : Scab eater!

  Ham Porter : Butt sniffer!

  Phillips : Pus licker!

  Ham Porter : Fart smeller!

  Bertram : [sniffs]  Ahh.

  Phillips : You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!

  Ham Porter : You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!

  Sandlot Kids : Yeah!

  Phillips : You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!

  Ham Porter : You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!

  [entire group stands in shocked silence and Tommy Timmons' smile turns to shock] 

  Phillips : [Shocked]  What did you say?

  Ham Porter : You heard me.

  Phillips : Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.

  Ham Porter : Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!

• Smalls : Yeah, yeah but I was gonna bring it back.

  Squints : But it was signed by Babe Ruth!

  Smalls : Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?

  Ham Porter : WHAT? WHAT?

  Kenny : The sultan of swat!

  Bertram : The king of crash!

  Timmy : The colossus of clout!

  Tommy : The colossus of clout!

  All : BABE RUTH!

  Ham Porter : THE GREAT BAMBINO!

  Smalls : [Panicked]  Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?

  All : YES!

  Benny Rodriguez : Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.

  Smalls : [Falls to the ground and clutches his stomach, groaning] 

  [Nauseated] 

  Smalls : I don't feel so good.

  [Smalls is almost about to vomit] 

  All : [They grow concern seeing Smalls almost about to vomit, so everyone except for Squints who uses his glasses Yeah Yeah who uses his glove and Tommy who uses both his arms and Kenny who also uses his arms, fan him with their caps]  Uh oh, fan him. Give him air, give him air.

  Smalls : [Feeling less nauseous]  We have to get that ball back.

• Sandlot Kids : [after Wendy Peffercorn pulls Squints from the pool]  Squints! Come on Squints!

  Ham Porter : Come on Squints. Squints!

  Timmy : Come on, Squints, come on!

  Scotty Smalls : [shouts]  Come on, Squints. You can do it! Pull through, bud!

  Benny Rodriguez : Come on, man, come on!

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah yeah, he looks pretty crappy.

  Tommy : Squints! Come on man!

  Bertram : My God, he looks like a dead fish.

  Sandlot Kids : [Squints opens his eyes and smiles]  *What*?

  Wendy Peffercorn : [Squints kisses Wendy] 

  [muffled scream] 

  Wendy Peffercorn : *Ugh!* *Little pervert!*

  Timmy : Aww, man, he's in deep *shit!*

• Ham Porter : [mimicking Babe Ruth with a cigar in his mouth; can't understand him]  Check this out. I'm the Great Bambino.

  Sandlot Kids : What?

  Ham Porter : [still can't understand him]  I'm the Great Bambino!

  Sandlot Kids : What?

  Ham Porter : [takes cigar out of mouth]  I'm the Great Bambino.

  Sandlot Kids : Oh!

  Smalls : Who's that?

  Smalls : [narrating]  I had no idea what they were talking about.

  Ham Porter : What did he say?

  Bertram : What? Were you born in a barn, man?

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah yeah, what planet are you from?

  Smalls : [narrating]  But there was no *way* I could let them know.

  Squints : You've never heard of the sultan of swat?

  Kenny : The titan of terror.

  Timmy : The colossus of clout!

  Tommy : The colossus of clout!

  Benny Rodriguez : The king of crash, man.

  Smalls : [narrating]  So, I lied.

  Smalls : Oh! The Great Bambino. Of course. I thought you said the great Bambi.

  Ham Porter : That wimpy deer?

• Squints : The kid is a L7 weenie.

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah, yeah - Oscar Meyer even. Footlong, dodger dog, a weenie!

  All : Ohhh haha

  Benny Rodriguez : What are you laughing at Yeah Yeah? You run like a duck!

  Yeah Yeah : 'Kay 'kay, but I'm... I'm...

  Benny Rodriguez : Part of the game right?

  Yeah Yeah : Mmm... Yeah?

  Benny Rodriguez : Now how come he don't get to be?

  Bertram : He's a geek, man

  All : He can't catch.

  Benny Rodriguez : [looks back at Smalls] 

  [Angrily to the others] 

  Benny Rodriguez : Man, base up you blockheads.