Double Blast

Despite having one of the shorter careers among the crop of early-90s action heroes, Dale Cook nonetheless found the time to try and make stars out of a couple of kids he might have chosen at random from the local karate school. The vehicle he co-stars them in would be his only PG-rated film to date, and also the only one of his which features established stars that the average American viewer would recognize. Seeing how disappointing this one turned out, it seems like a waste of resources...

The story: When Jimmy (Lorne Berfield) and Lisa (Crystal Summers) - the children of kickboxing champion Greg Matthews (Cook) - witness the kidnapping of an archaeologist (Linda Blair) by a gangster looking to find a lost treasure (Joe Estevez), they take it upon themselves to save her by employing their martial talents.

I have to admit, Lorne Berfield and Crystal Summers definitely look like they've had some legitimate martial arts training, and the script is so weak that they can't really be held accountable for their dramatic shortcomings, but honestly, I'm not surprised that these two didn't have much of a career in movies. They have little charisma, and their characters are a whiny duo whose physical competence is largely the result of the sheer incompetence of the goofy henchmen they beat up again, and again, and again. Even Joe Estevez's character is a pathetic goof who's easily foiled by slapstick antics. Surrounded by such buffoonery, Dale Cook himself manages to look like a decent actor, but the only standout dramatic parts are delivered by Linda Blair, in some weird-out scenes wherein she's hypnotized and some reverted back to childhood.

The film's heavy-handed comedy begs you to not take the movie seriously, but comedy itself isn't very funny if you're older than six or seven. The majority of the villains are so stupid and the majority of the physical comedy is so poorly set up that it's almost embarrassing to watch, like a college production gone awry. This bleeds over to the martial arts content, which - while ample - doesn't deliver what anyone who's already seen a couple of karate flicks could want. There are ten fights, but most of these gimmicky, one-sided encounters wherein the kids beat up Robert Z'dar and Chuck Williams. The vastly underrated Ron Hall shows up in the beginning and end of the movie to do some flips and throw some kicks, but while his fight with Dale Cook is the best of the picture, it's tarnished by speedy editing.

The muddy production values make the film visually indistinguishable from the rest of Cook's work, but even the Apollo of the kickboxing circuit has done better than this. If you're really interested in this for some reason, don't buy it for over a couple of bucks, and otherwise don't bother with it at all.

Linda Blair stars as a scientist who is kidnapped (repeatedly) by mobsters who want her expertise on some priceless ancient artifacts that tells where buried treasure is, of course the bad guys have her now but kickboxing champion Dale "Apollo" Cook is there to save the day and even if he brings his obnoxious kids with,Cook if he has to, will put a boot in your head. I don't remember American Kickboxer 2 too much (I saw it when the thing came out) but Dale "Apollo" Cook is probably the best thing about this movie. He doesn't talk much and just kickboxes which easily puts him ahead of the actor and actress playing his obnoxious offspring, however he fights a lot and even though these fight sequences are very badly staged, he does look like under the right circumstances could center a cheap-jack martial arts time killer. Linda Blair is aboard for some reason, because at this point it was either this or porn. So we are left with scenes of her pretending to be a child, her grumbling while forced into a car, her trying to act intelligent and so on. Robert Z'Dar is also here and the terminally bored cast go through the terminally boring adventures that the plot requires. The movie is aggressively abysmal and should be avoided as such.

1/2* out of 4-(Awful)

This is such a bad movie. This just insults the viewers at how they think so low of kids intelligence. I absolutely hate how these kids who aren't even old enough to see a PG-13 movie are able to beat up grown adults. Such as the movie "3 ninjas.(1992)" this is one of those squeaky clean kids movies where there's no blood or anyone dying. Yet for some reason they uttered the word R word twice in this movie.

Can anyone act in this movie? Not really. They are goofy and mostly it's just slapstick humor to the point I wasn't sure what to expect as I just went in blind to this movie. This is another one of those movies where the bad guys get beaten up countless times and they really didn't have many other cast members so they just kept getting up and wanting to get beaten up again.

The movie stretches on for too long. You can tell it had inspiration from movies such as Home Alone 1 and 2. At least the dads martial arts looked fine. By the time there's a cave involved I could not pay attention to this movie if my life depended on it. The only thing I'll remember from this is Robert's glorious chin! Skip this. If I was any child actor in this movie. No matter how small of a role I'd be embarrassed.

Double Blast, despite being touted as a children's movie, is a movie for people of all ages who love to laugh (at bad movies). This is the type of feel-good movie that makes you want to invite your friends over, pop some popcorn, and kick back for an hour of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 style roasting. Or maybe you'll just want to turn off the TV.

Either way, this is movie is so bad it's great. Watching Double Blast gave me a sense that sometime during production, the crew realized that this movie stinks, and then just stopped trying, yielding hilarious results.

Poor editing, poor acting, poor characters, poor plot, sound, and choreography all come together in a poorly orchestrated flop that simply makes me laugh till I cry. If you have a sense of sardonic humor, or if you're a masochist, I would highly recommend this movie.

Double Blast: Twice as fun as it was meant to be.

Double Blast and Skullduggery are two of the worst movies ever made, and they make an insanely entertaining double feature. Double Blast is definitely the more watchable of the pair, though, since it actually has some semblance of a story, no matter how lame it gets at times. I have to admit, I bought this for its low price ($3.99, which may be too much, now that I think back), and by the cover. How the heck do you just pass up a movie with a kickboxing family guarding treasure as its cover? You can't, honey baby, and that's the skinny, ya hear? And to my utter amazement and joy, two of my favorite actors are in this movie! It's bizarre how I tend to buy films that I have connections to without knowing it, but if anyone is a dedicated MST3k viewer like me, they will instantly recognize Joe Estevez and Robert Z'Dar. Robert has to be seen to be believed. The man's face looks like a potato, and believe me when I say that such a statement is NOT an exaggeration. His face is so hilariously puffed up that it sent me into hysterics. And of course Joe is a member of the prestigious Estevez dynasty of acting, which also includes Emilio, AKA Mighty Ducks 3. Both of these men were together in another film, Soultaker, and to think that they would be paired up again is just too good to be true...but it is! There is no way that I would ever sell my beloved Double Blast. It's home is with me from here on out, and I will forever threaten my friends with its awesome craptitude. Oh, and be sure to watch out for the biggest continuity error in film history during one of the outdoor scenes. Believe me, it's so obvious that no person could possibly miss it. 4/4 stars!