Richard Harris credited as playing...
English Bob
- Little Bill Daggett: It's been a long time, Bob. You run out of Chinamen?
- English Bob: Little Bill, well I thought you was, well I thought that you were dead. I see you've shaved your chin whiskers off.
- Little Bill Daggett: I was tasting the soup two hours after I ate it.
- English Bob: Well, actually, what I heard was that you fell off your horse, drunk of course, and that you broke your bloody neck.
- Little Bill Daggett: I heard that one myself, Bob. Hell, I even thought I was dead 'til I found out it was just that I was in Nebraska.
- English Bob: [discussing the assassination of President Garfield] Well there's a dignity royalty. A majesty that precludes the likelihood of assassination. If you were to point a pistol at a king or a queen your hands would shakes as though palsied.
- Barber: Oh I wouldn't point no pistol at nobody sir.
- English Bob: Well that's a wise policy, as wise policy. But if you did. I can assure you, if you did, that the sight of royalty would cause you to dismiss all thoughts of bloodshed and you would stand... how shall I put it? In awe. Now, a president... well I mean...
- [chuckles]
- English Bob: why not shoot a president.
- English Bob: This Strawberry Alice person, tell me again.
- Barber: Down the street and across. Greely's Beer Garden and Billiard Parlour. Just ask for Alice; say you want a game of billiards.
- English Bob: Even though I don't really wish to play.
- Barber: They burned the table in '78 for firewood.
- English Bob: Quite right. Quite right.
- English Bob: A plague on you. A plague on the whole stinking lot of ya, without morals or laws. And all you whores got no laws. You got no honor. It's no wonder you all emigrated to America, because they wouldn't have you in England. You're a lot of savages, that's what you all are. A bunch of bloody savages. A plague on you. I'll be back.
- English Bob: Well, Sir, again I don't wish to give offense when I suggest that this country should select a, uh, king or even a queen instead of a president. One isn't that quick to shoot a king or a queen. The majesty of royalty, you see.
- Joe: Well, maybe you don't wish to give offense, Sir, but you are giving it pretty thick. This country don't need no queens whatsoever, I reckon. As a matter of fact what I heard about queens-...