- Harvey 'Harv': [while power walking] Boy, I'm getting hungry Shirl.
- Shirley: After we workout we'll get a nice, big juicy pizza.
- Harvey 'Harv': [Excited] Oh boy! Extra cheese?
- Shirley: And pepperoni.
- Harvey 'Harv': [Even more enthusiastic] Ooh!
- Julie Thompson: I told her to go before we left the house, but she never listens. She think she knows everything.
- Eddie Popko: No kidding.
- Julie Thompson: It's true.
- [Eddie got knocked out, causing him to lose the twins and his truck. Rhonda isn't too pleased]
- Rhonda Thompson: You lost my girls?
- Eddie Popko: Rhonda, I'm really sorry. I lost my truck too. It had to be those FPD bandits.
- Rhonda Thompson: Eddie! I'm calling the police.
- Eddie Popko: Well you just tell them they look like your mom and dad out for a walk. But when you turn your back, "claps" boom! Mom's all over you like a ninja turtle.
- [Rhonda glares back at him with "What did you just say?" eyes]
- [Julie and Sarah decide to run away]
- Julie Thompson: Mommy wants a vacation from us.
- Sarah Thompson: We could go to Grandma Mimi's house for Christmas.
- Julie Thompson: Good idea! Let's do it.
- [They get up from the couch, stop and look at each other]
- Julie Thompson: How do we get to Grandma's house?
- Sarah Thompson: Do I have to think of everything? Now come on.
- [Rhonda bangs on the window alarmed. Det. Gremp opens the door]
- Det. Gremp: What?
- Rhonda Thompson: Those are the kidnappers!
- Eddie Popko: And the FPD bandits!
- Julie Thompson: And they're not Santa's elf!
- Harvey 'Harv': It's all true officer. Even the elf part. If you want proof, look at our motor home. It's full of stolen goods.
- [Raises his arms]
- Harvey 'Harv': Cuff us.
- Eddie Popko: [Presents the cuffs] Feel free to use these, definitely!
- Det. Gremp: [Confused] Huh?
- Rhonda Thompson: Come on girls, Stacey will watch you while I'm at work.
- [Julie and Sarah throw snowballs at Eddie, nailing him in the back and in the head]
- Rhonda Thompson: Girls!
- [Eddie turns around, glares back at them with "That was not cool" eyes]
- Julie Thompson: That was for killing Frosty.
- [Heads inside the house]
- [Julie and Sarah reveal themselves from the back of the truck]
- Eddie Popko: Where the hell did you come from?
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] Ummmm!
- Julie Thompson: You said the H word.
- Policeman: You know that fax you sent out? Well I think I found your FPD bandits.
- Det. Gremp: [Through the radio] Keep an eye on them until I get there. I'm on my way.
- Policeman: Will do. Over and out.
- Det. Gremp: Police Business! Where's the carnival?
- Man: Right up that street.
- Det. Gremp: Thanks, get out of the way.
- [U-turns and drives very fast, slams the breaks at a stop sign]
- Det. Gremp: Oh, sure, put up a stop sign anywhere.
- Shirley: Okay Harv, let's check out the loot.
- [Opens the truck, Shirley and Harvey see Julie and Sarah]
- Sarah Thompson: Hello.
- Julie Thompson: Hi.
- Harvey 'Harv': Shirley, when did FPD start delivering kids?
- Shirley: Right after you had your lobotomy Harv.
- [to the twins]
- Shirley: What are you rugrats doing in here?
- Julie Thompson: We're trying to get to Grandma's.
- Harvey 'Harv': Who ships their kids to Grandma's? Don't they got to be in a box or something?
- Shirley: Harvey, stop thinking. You're not good at it. I'll handle this. I know how to talk to these little droolers.
- [to the twins nicely]
- Shirley: Hi there. My name is Shirley... and this is my husband Harvey. What are your little names?
- Sarah Thompson: [Mockingly] My little name is Sarah.
- Julie Thompson: [Mockingly] My little name is Julie.
- Shirley: [to Harvey] Are these shrimps making fun of me?
- Harvey 'Harv': I'm not sure... I think so.
- Shirley: Okay, I'm through with this child psychology junk.
- [to the twins with a serious tone]
- Shirley: Was that guy driving the truck your daddy?
- Sarah Thompson: No, he was taking us home.
- Julie Thompson: We don't want to go home.
- Harvey 'Harv': Wha wha wha why not?
- Sarah Thompson: Mommy said we're a handful.
- Julie Thompson: We're giving her a vacation!
- Shirley: And that's why you want to get to your Granny's? Well, aren't you two sweet to give your mom a break like that? Excuse us one minute.
- Harvey 'Harv': Nice meeting you guys.
- Sarah Thompson: See you later guys.
- [the twins wave]
- Eddie Popko: Hey Rhonda! How's the hottest Mini-Mart manager going?
- Rhonda Thompson: Oh look, it's Eddie the delivery boy. Would you like a sludgee with that?
- Customer: No thanks.
- Eddie Popko: Well I think your making a big mistake there pal. Their sludgees are the finest. Never too much crushed ice. Never too much sludge.
- Rhonda Thompson: He's trying to be cute. Keep trying Eddie.
- [Eddie smiles in approval]
- Eddie Popko: So let me get this straight; you packed your bags, you rode your bike around the block, you hopped the bus, looked at the Princess Penny dolls, and then snuck in the back of my truck so I'd drive you to your Great-Grandma's house in Edgemont.
- Julie Thompson: You forgot we put chicken legs in a hat.
- Eddie Popko: Oh, right. But I'm guessing that your mom doesn't know anything about this.
- Sarah Thompson: No we're giving her a vacation.
- Eddie Popko: Well, she outta be going nuts right about now wondering where the hell you two went.
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] Ummmmm...
- Eddie Popko: Oh, yeah right. The H word.
- Det. Gremp: [Harvey and Shirley are arrested after Harvey confessed out of good conscience] I knew it was you two all along.
- Harvey 'Harv': You mad at me honey-bunch?
- Shirley: A little. But I'll have three to five years to get over it.
- Harvey 'Harv': When I get out, I promise you I'll make you proud. I'll be the best darn criminal you ever saw I'll be mean, I'll be low-down, I'll be vicious, I'll be a snake, I'll be rotten. Just like you honey.
- Shirley: It's a beautiful dream Harv.
- Harvey 'Harv': [Smiles to Shirley] I love you.
- Det. Gremp: You two in here. Let's go, let's go.
- [Turns to Rhonda and Eddie]
- Det. Gremp: And you two, you can expect some community service for your shenanigans.
- Eddie Popko: [Getting out of his truck while singing a tune] Black coffee for all the cowboys. Black coffee for the cowgirls too. Black coffee...
- [He knocks over the snowman the twins were building, causing them to gasp]
- Sarah Thompson: Mister you killed our snowman!
- Eddie Popko: I don't see any snowman.
- [Looks around]
- Julie Thompson: That's because you killed him!
- Eddie Popko: [Eddie looks down] Whoops. Right. He doesn't look too good. But hey it's 65 degrees out here, he would've been a puddle by noon.
- Sarah Thompson: We're telling!
- Eddie Popko: Oh no. no, no. Pl Please don't tell. Because I'll get in trouble.
- Julie Thompson: That's the idea!
- Sarah Thompson, Julie Thompson: [Together] Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
- Rhonda Thompson: [Appears at the window] What's wrong?
- Sarah Thompson, Julie Thompson: [Together] That man killed Frosty!
- Eddie Popko: Rhonda, you're a mommy?... Uh I got a package for you.
- Rhonda Thompson: I'll be right down.
- Sarah Thompson: When my mom gets here, you are gonna get it!
- Eddie Popko: Can't believe it. Sludgee babe's a mom.
- Julie Thompson: A real mom who can get you in big trouble!
- [Eddie gives the girls a "Yeah right" glare]
- Rhonda Thompson: [Comes outside] Hello Eddie.
- Julie Thompson: Make him go to his room!
- Eddie Popko: Hey if you send me to my room, then you won't get your package.
- [Shakes the package]
- Eddie Popko: Sounds like a present.
- [Winks at Rhonda]
- Julie Thompson: [Arriving at the television station] We made it! We made it!
- Eddie Popko: Everybody, get out!
- [Bangs on the roof of Gremp's car]
- Eddie Popko: Come on girls, let's go!
- Rhonda Thompson: Let's get going girls!
- Eddie Popko: Merry Christmas Gremp!
- Det. Gremp: Yeah, yeah. Merry Christmas to you. And good luck.
- [to himself]
- Det. Gremp: Definitely.
- Rhonda Thompson: [while tucking the girls in] I've got the same bedtime as a five year old. This is pathetic.
- Eddie Popko: [after singing Happy Trails] Yee-Haw!
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] Yee-Haw!
- Eddie Popko: You kids can keep your guns and your roses, I'll take Roy Rogers any day. A guy that can ride a horse and play the guitar at the same time, now that's talent.
- Det. Gremp: [Frustrated through persuasion] All right, shut up! I know it's Christmas Eve! Big deal!
- Eddie Popko: [Catching up to the runaway sleigh] Hi girls, Remember me? We had ice cream. Hold on, I'll be right back.
- [Eddie gets in front of the girls]
- Sarah Thompson: Where do you think you're going?
- Eddie Popko: [Prepares to jump] Hold steady boys, I'm coming on. Ahh!
- [Jumps on the horse to his right, struggles to stay on]
- Julie Thompson: You're falling off the horse!
- Eddie Popko: I know that!
- Sarah Thompson: I thought you were a cowboy!
- Sarah Thompson: Which way is Edgemont?
- Shirley: Edgemont? Is that where your Granny lives? Well, that is just where we're just headed. You kids want a ride?
- Julie Thompson: Yes,we do
- Sarah Thompson: Excuse me, I got to go talk to my sister.
- Shirley: Oh, yeah. Sure sure take your time.
- Julie Thompson: What is it?
- Sarah Thompson: We can't go with them.
- Julie Thompson: What do you want to do, walk to Grandma's?
- Sarah Thompson: Remember mom's rules? Never get in a car with strangers.
- Julie Thompson: Oh, yeah. But remember mom's other rule? Never going outside after dark?
- Sarah Thompson: Oh, yeah.
- [Simultaneously trash cans clatter and a cat meows loudly, catching the twins' attention]
- Sarah Thompson: It's dark.
- Julie Thompson: It's very dark.
- Julie Thompson: [Suddenly disappointed] Why did I ever listen to you?
- Sarah Thompson: Because I'm the smart one.
- Julie Thompson: Okay smart one, what do we do now?
- Sarah Thompson: I'm smart, but I'm not a genius.
- Shirley: Okay, let's go!
- Eddie Popko: Rhonda, you don't know anything about me.
- Rhonda Thompson: Well, let's see. Mini donuts, beef jerky, jellybeans. I know you're not a health nut.
- Eddie Popko: Well hey I take a Flintstone vitamin every single morning.
- Rhonda Thompson: [Observes a magazine] Wrestle-Mundo magazine. So I'm guessing that you're not exactly intellectual.
- Eddie Popko: Well you'd be guessing wrong because the crossword puzzle in there happens to be extremely challenging.
- Rhonda Thompson: Hmm. Oh, and five Win-O-Lotto tickets. Which tells me you throw away your paycheck on the lottery.
- Eddie Popko: This weeks big jackpot, 1.3 million dollars.
- Rhonda Thompson: Eddie, every week you tell me how much you're gonna win. And every week, you're a loser.
- Eddie Popko: Well it's gonna happen I mean, because I have a system.
- Rhonda Thompson: What system?
- Eddie Popko: Well, somebody has to win. Might as well be me.
- Rhonda Thompson: Shhhh. Somebody might steal your system.
- Harvey 'Harv': Isn't it a lovely evening for a press walk?
- Shirley: Yes.
- Harvey 'Harv': Watch it, joggers coming through!
- [Harvey's fanny pack comes loose]
- Eddie Popko: Oh, sir you dropped your fanny pack.
- Harvey 'Harv': Oh those things come loose all the time.
- Shirley: Thank you very much!
- [Jumps and hits Eddie with both her hands]
- Eddie Popko: Ugh!
- Harvey 'Harv': I love it when you get physical Shirl.
- Shirley: Not now Harv, get in the truck!
- [Harvey and Shirley drive off with the truck, unaware that the twins are back there. Eddie gets up in time to see his truck go off in the distance]
- Sarah Thompson: Where's Eddie?
- Julie Thompson: I don't know.
- Sarah Thompson: Who are they?
- Julie Thompson: I don't know. You're the one who knows everything.
- Sarah Thompson: I hope they're going to Grandma's.
- Julie Thompson: [while getting ice cream, Eddie plays Win-O-Lotto] I want to play!
- Sarah Thompson: Me too!
- Eddie Popko: Well, you certainly been good luck so far. Tell you what, you can help me pick my numbers. When's your birthday?
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] June 13th, 1987.
- Julie Thompson: But I came out first, so I'm older.
- Sarah Thompson: By one minute.
- Julie Thompson: But I'm still older
- Eddie Popko: Okay alright. Six, thirteen, nineteen, eight and seven. Sounds like a winner.
- [Hands ticket to clerk]
- Eddie Popko: You know, I'm due to win this. No really, I have a system.
- [Turns to the twins]
- Eddie Popko: Girls, feels like a winner.
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] Can I hold it? Can I hold it?
- Eddie Popko: Alright, wait a minute. I know where this is going.
- [to Julie]
- Eddie Popko: Okay, you're the oldest, you can keep it in your purse.
- Julie Thompson: Ha!
- Eddie Popko: For the first half of the trip, and you're gonna keep it for the second half of the trip.
- Sarah Thompson: Ha Ha!
- Rhonda Thompson: [Getting ready to pawn stolen merchandise] You sure this is gonna work?
- Eddie Popko: Of course it's gonna work. Just let me do the talking.
- Rhonda Thompson: We're in big trouble.
- Eddie Popko: You got a bad attitude.
- Rhonda Thompson: [Getting ready for work and school] Okay, hold still. Almost ready.
- [Julie snatches Sarah's hat off her head]
- Rhonda Thompson: Julie, leave Sarah's hat alone.
- Julie Thompson: I want this one.
- Sarah Thompson: It was on my head, give it back.
- Rhonda Thompson: Ladies, these hats are exactly the same.
- Julie Thompson: She always gets the good hat.
- Sarah Thompson: That's because I'm a good girl.
- Rhonda Thompson: Girls, don't start.
- Sarah Thompson: Sorry, mommy. I love you.
- Julie Thompson: I love you bigger.
- Sarah Thompson: No way!
- Julie Thompson: Yes way!
- Rhonda Thompson: Look ladies, I love you the same. You love me the same. End of discussion. Now, I'm gonna be late for work. You're gonna be late for kindergarten. Let's go.
- Julie Thompson: [Exiting the apartment running] I get the front seat!
- Sarah Thompson: No way!
- Julie Thompson: Yes way!
- Sarah Thompson: No way!
- Julie Thompson: Yes way!
- Sarah Thompson: No way!
- Rhonda Thompson: [Locks the door, runs to follow them] You're both in the back!
- Julie Thompson: [In the back of Eddie's truck] This will never work.
- Sarah Thompson: It is gonna work.
- Julie Thompson: How do you know it's gonna work?
- Sarah Thompson: How do you know it's not gonna work?
- Julie Thompson: You're impossible.
- [Sarah shakes her head in disagreement while Julie shakes her head yes with a "Yes you are" expression]
- Eddie Popko: [after listening to Don't Fence Me In] Thank you. Gotta love that Roy Rogers. Heh heh, Yeah-hoo.
- Julie Thompson: You can stop waiving.
- Sarah Thompson: We're not waiving back!
- Harvey 'Harv': ...They're just having fun.
- Julie Thompson: You are a liar!
- Sarah Thompson: He is not an elf!
- Harvey 'Harv': [to the parents around him] Like none of you have trouble with your kids.
- Policeman: [Det. Gremp and his partner barge in the house] That's them! Hugging.
- Det. Gremp: Definitely.
- Eddie Popko: Hey Gremp, what are you doing here?
- Det. Gremp: I'm here to arrest the FPD bandits.
- Rhonda Thompson: Great!
- Eddie Popko: Good. Don't let them get away.
- Det. Gremp: I won't. You're both under arrest.
- [Both Gremp and his partner slap the cuffs on Eddie and Rhonda. They look over to the twins, who are confused on the situation]
- Det. Gremp: OK! I got all the information that I need, definitely.
- Rhonda Thompson: You got to find them, Detective Gremp.
- Det. Gremp: Ma'am, I promise you I'll find your daughters as soon as possible, absolutely!
- [Phone rings]
- Det. Gremp: That's the telephone.
- Rhonda Thompson: I know.
- Det. Gremp: Just doing my job.
- Rhonda Thompson: [Walks over and picks up the phone] Hello?
- Eddie Popko: Hey, Rhonda, this is Eddie Popko, your favorite delivery boy. Listen, I got your girls right here and they're fine.
- Rhonda Thompson: [Relieved] Oh, thank God! Hang on.
- [Turns to Det. Gremp]
- Rhonda Thompson: The girls have been found!
- Det. Gremp: What did I tell you? I said I'd find them as soon as possible, absolutely.
- Rhonda Thompson: Thanks for all your help.
- Det. Gremp: I'll see myself out, positively.
- [Gremp walks out]
- Rhonda Thompson: [Somewhat alarmed] What are you doing with my girls?
- Eddie Popko: Well, this wasn't my idea. They snuck in the back of my truck.
- Rhonda Thompson: Well, tell me where you are and I'll come get them.
- Eddie Popko: Well, I got to finish up all my deliveries first, and then I'm gonna swing them by your house. Oh, and Rhonda, by the way, I do get five bucks an hour to babysit.
- Rhonda Thompson: Just get back here, Eddie.
- [Hangs up]
- Eddie Popko: Yeah, well, you have a nice day too, now.
- [Hangs up. Turns to the trucker waiting behind him]
- Eddie Popko: It's all yours.
- Sarah Thompson: [Eddie has stopped the sleigh and saved the girls] That was fun!
- Julie Thompson: Can we do it again?
- Eddie Popko: No, we can't.
- Rhonda Thompson: [about the twins] They packed their bags. They took their money. Why would they run away from home?
- Stacey: We better call the police.
- Rhonda Thompson: Yeah, you're right.
- Eddie Popko: And behind door #2...
- [Opens the truck]
- Eddie Popko: Prizes and merchandise worth over $10,000.
- Rhonda Thompson: I don't know what you did... But I got a bad feeling about it.
- Eddie Popko: No, no, Rhonda, don't feel bad. We're simply gonna raise a ransom the same way the FPD bandits would. We're gonna open up all these packages, find the good stuff, and hit the pawn shops.
- Rhonda Thompson: Eddie, this isn't right! Those are other people's Christmas presents.
- Eddie Popko: OK, well, Rhonda, do you realize how happy these other people would feel if they knew that by giving up one present, they would be helping a mother be reunited with her daughters? I mean that's what the season's all about; it's giving.
- Rhonda Thompson: You are so full of it.
- Eddie Popko: I know.
- Rhonda Thompson: But I'm desperate. I'm gonna keep a list of every present we open. Somehow, we're gonna make it up to these people.
- Eddie Popko: Yeah. I was just about to suggest that. I mean, it's like we share the same brain. OK, well, come on. Let's get to work.
- Eddie Popko: [Running back to Rhonda's apartment] I knew my system worked! Rhonda! Rhonda! Hey, uh, meet me at the window!
- Rhonda Thompson: What do you want?
- Eddie Popko: [Sidesteps] Meet me over here! Rhonda, I... Meet me at the door! I'm coming up!
- [Runs inside, gets near Rhonda's door]
- Eddie Popko: I'm here! Open up!
- Rhonda Thompson: [Rhonda opens the door, Eddie slides in] What? What?
- Eddie Popko: [Out of breath] Rhonda...
- Rhonda Thompson: What?
- Eddie Popko: I have to get some water...
- Rhonda Thompson: You ran all the way back here for a glass of water?
- Eddie Popko: [Drinks water] OK, I can talk now. Whew! Rhonda, I was a... a jerk, and an idiot, and a moron.
- Rhonda Thompson: I know all that.
- Eddie Popko: OK, but what you don't know is, I want to help you find your girls.
- Rhonda Thompson: [Shocked] Since when?
- Eddie Popko: Uh... Since I was just thinking about all the fun that I had with the girls and... And how we went out for ice cream and we bought a lottery ticket... And it's a winner. Wouldn't you know it? I mean, that ticket must be in one of their purses.
- Rhonda Thompson: [Not pleased] You greedy little worm.
- [the phone rings, Rhonda rushes to pick up the phone]
- Rhonda Thompson: Hello?
- Shirley: Hi. Uh, Rhonda Thompson?
- Rhonda Thompson: Yes?
- Shirley: Yeah, Rhonda, it was the craziest thing. I found your girls sitting in the back of an FPD truck.
- Rhonda Thompson: [Excited] You found my girls?
- Eddie Popko: Oh, they found the girls? And how about those, those, those little purses?
- Rhonda Thompson: [Now worried] Are they okay?
- Rhonda Thompson: Yeah, are you kidding? They're playing Whack-a-Mole!
- [Turns to the girls]
- Rhonda Thompson: Hey girls, say hi to your mom!
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] Hi, Mom!
- Julie Thompson: We got enough tickets for yo-yos!
- Harvey 'Harv': Aw, can't we get the paddle ball?
- Sarah Thompson: Next time, Harv.
- [They get back to playing]
- Shirley: Uh, Rhonda, Rhonda, just out of curiosity, is there a reward involved here?
- Rhonda Thompson: Reward?
- Shirley: Um, I was hoping it might be... $10,000?
- Rhonda Thompson: $10,000? You don't want a reward, you want ransom!
- Eddie Popko: We'll get the money!
- Rhonda Thompson: Eddie!
- Shirley: Tell that guy it's a deal. I'll meet you at the skating rink at Edgemont, at 3:00. Uh, wear a red hat so I know how to find you. And don't tell the police about this or I just might get lost.
- Rhonda Thompson: All right, no police. Just take care of my girls.
- Shirley: They're happy as clams. Oh, and speaking of clams, I would like my reward in cash. See you tomorrow.
- [Hangs up]
- Harvey 'Harv': Wow! I broke the record! Shirley, I got the best score of the day!
- Shirley: [Gives a thumbs up] Harv, we're on a roll.
- Julie Thompson: [Making a delivery] Wait for us!
- Eddie Popko: I told you twinheads to stay in the truck.
- Sarah Thompson: We want to help.
- Eddie Popko: Well, you can't help. You're not a professional. It took me two weeks of training to earn this shoulder patch.
- Julie Thompson: What do you do?
- Eddie Popko: Well, I... I give the customers their package, and they sign for it.
- Julie Thompson: You got a patch for that?
- Crotchety Man: [Coming outside] Hey, what do you want? Listen, I'm trying to take a nap.
- Eddie Popko: Oh, yes sir. Package from FPD.
- Crotchety Man: Oh yeah.
- Eddie Popko: Sign right here, please.
- Crotchety Man: Sure.
- Sarah Thompson: Merry Christmas.
- Julie Thompson: Happy holidays.
- Crotchety Man: Would you look at that? Santa's little helpers, helping out their dad. Well, I think that calls for a little tip.
- [Takes out wallet, hands first dollar to Sarah]
- Crotchety Man: For you.
- [Hands another dollar to Julie]
- Crotchety Man: And you.
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] Thank you.
- Crotchety Man: And here's one for you too, Dad.
- Eddie Popko: Oh, well thank you, sir. Merry Christmas to you.
- [Waves to the customer]
- Eddie Popko: [to himself] First tip I ever got on this crappy job.
- Julie Thompson, Sarah Thompson: [Together] Ummmm...
- Eddie Popko: [while opening packages] Another fruitcake. Who eats these things?
- [Tosses it over his shoulder in disgust]
- Harvey 'Harv': [about Sarah and Julie] Couldn't you just eat those kids up?
- [Turns to Shirley]
- Harvey 'Harv': Hey Shirl, let's go rob a toy store so they'll have something to play with when they get up in the morning.
- Shirley: Nah, too risky. I'll let them play with the VCR. And I'll teach them how to pry the serial numbers off. Kids love that.
- Harvey 'Harv': Honey, how come we never had kids?
- Shirley: Because we're criminals, sweetheart.
- Harvey 'Harv': That's just our job. And I'll make a great dad, you'd be a terrific mom.
- Shirley: Oh, yeah, we're a regular Ozzie and Harriet.
- [Examines a stolen VCR]
- Shirley: Okay, this one is cleaned and priced to move.
- Julie Thompson: Hey, look! There's Mommy's store!
- Sarah Thompson: Yeah it is!
- Julie Thompson: You're not taking us to Grandma's!
- Eddie Popko: I'm not?
- Sarah Thompson: You're taking us home!
- Eddie Popko: OK, well, you kids may as well learn this now. Grownups will say anything to get kids to cooperate.
- Sarah Thompson: You take us to Grandma's right now. This is no joke!
- Eddie Popko: Well, I told your mom that I'm bringing you home, and that's no joke.
- [Stops the truck]
- Eddie Popko: OK, now I want you kids to go back there and get your suitcases and I'll meet you around the back.
- Julie Thompson: Grinch!
- Eddie Popko: What'd you call me?
- Julie Thompson: I called you a Grinch!
- Eddie Popko: [Ignoring the insult] Oh, OK. Well, just checking.
- Eddie Popko: [ice skating] All right, now, nothing can go wrong, okay?
- Rhonda Thompson: Everything already went wrong.
- [Skates to the side]
- Rhonda Thompson: What kind of mother makes her girls run away from home?
- Eddie Popko: Well, they weren't running away. They... they were simply just giving you a little vacation.
- Rhonda Thompson: You don't know that.
- Eddie Popko: Yes, I do, because the girls told me. Rhonda, you're too hard on yourself. You're a good mom. And it's got to be really rough trying to raise two kids all alone. Heck, I can barely take care of me.
- Rhonda Thompson: How did things get so messed up? I had my life figured out until my husband took off.
- Eddie Popko: Hey, now, he's the one who blew it. He lost you.
- Rhonda Thompson: You're just saying that to make me feel better. It's working.
- [All cheered up]
- Eddie Popko: Good. Come on, let's skate.
- Eddie Popko: Well you got to admit, kids, that was one hell of a ride.
- Sarah Thompson, Julie Thompson: [Together] Ummmm...
- Eddie Popko: Oh, right, right the H-word. OK. Well, come on down for me. You two scared me half to death.
- Saxaphone Player: Hey, did you just drop a chicken bone in my case?
- Julie Thompson: There's still some meat on there.
- Saxaphone Player: Oh, okay.
- [Continues playing Jingle all the Way]
- Sarah Thompson: Merry Christmas.
- Doorman: Those FPD bandits giving you trouble?
- Eddie Popko: Are you kidding? Shoot, they won't come near me.
- Doorman: Well, you have a Merry Christmas young fella.
- Eddie Popko: Yeah, you too!
- Julie Thompson: [On a runaway sleigh] These reindeer are fast.
- Sarah Thompson: They have to be. They go around the whole world in one night.
- Eddie Popko: [Following behind] We're moving now! I hope you know which way we're going. Yee-haw!
- Sarah Thompson: Go, Rudolph! Go, Prancer!
- Julie Thompson: That's Blitzen!
- Sarah Thompson: How do you know it's Blitzen?
- Julie Thompson: How do you know it's not?
- Eddie Popko: Come on, we got to catch them! Come on, dig! Yeah!
- [Sees the sleigh]
- Eddie Popko: Yeah! Yeah! Come on! Girls, hold on! I'm on my way!
- Sarah Thompson: [All packed up and ready to leave] I'll leave Mommy's present here.
- [Places present under the tree]
- Sarah Thompson: Let's go, Julie!
- Sarah Thompson: [Outside on their bikes] Grandma's, here we come!
- Julie Thompson: On your mark, get set, we're out of here!
- [Pedals]
- Julie Thompson: [the twins go in different directions] See you later.
- Sarah Thompson: [Stops pedaling] Where you going?
- Julie Thompson: Grandma lives this way!
- Sarah Thompson: No, Grandma lives this way!
- Julie Thompson: You'll be sorry!
- Sarah Thompson: No, you'll be sorry!
- Julie Thompson: No, you'll be sorry!
- Sarah Thompson: [Begins to pedal away] Okay, big shot, I'll call you from Grandma's!
- Julie Thompson: [Struggles to turn around] Wait! Wait, Sarah wait! Wait, Sarah! Wait, Sarah! Wait!
- Sarah Thompson: Maybe next time you'll listen! So, come on, Julie!
- [They pedal on, then shop when a car passes them]
- Sarah Thompson: Uh-oh.
- Julie Thompson: We're not allowed to cross the street.
- Sarah Thompson: That's why I said "Uh-oh!"
- [Turns to their left]
- Sarah Thompson: We're cruising to Grandma's!
- Julie Thompson: [Coming to a hill] I hate going uphill.
- Sarah Thompson: [Sarah pedals easily, while Julie struggles] Keep pedaling, don't give up.
- Julie Thompson: Oh, no!
- Julie Thompson: Are we there yet?
- Sarah Thompson: I don't think so. That's our next-door neighbor. Hi, Mr. Johnson!
- Julie Thompson: [Stops in front of their home, disappointed] We're back where we started.
- Sarah Thompson: This is not working.
- Julie Thompson: [a bus approaches] That is very lucky.
- Sarah Thompson: Let's go!
- [They run for the bus]
- Sarah Thompson: Don't let the driver see you. Go in the back door.
- [They sneak in the back]
- Sarah Thompson: Try to look really small
- Julie Thompson: I am really small.
- [They enter inside the bus, it takes off]