To Grandmother's House We Go (1992 TV Movie)

Mary-Kate Olsen: Sarah Thompson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : Harvey is a liar, Harvey is a liar!

• [Julie and Sarah decide to run away] 

  Julie Thompson : Mommy wants a vacation from us.

  Sarah Thompson : We could go to Grandma Mimi's house for Christmas.

  Julie Thompson : Good idea! Let's do it.

  [They get up from the couch, stop and look at each other] 

  Julie Thompson : How do we get to Grandma's house?

  Sarah Thompson : Do I have to think of everything? Now come on.

• [Julie and Sarah reveal themselves from the back of the truck] 

  Eddie Popko : Where the hell did you come from?

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Ummmm!

  Julie Thompson : You said the H word.

• Shirley : Okay Harv, let's check out the loot.

  [Opens the truck, Shirley and Harvey see Julie and Sarah] 

  Sarah Thompson : Hello.

  Julie Thompson : Hi.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Shirley, when did FPD start delivering kids?

  Shirley : Right after you had your lobotomy Harv.

  [to the twins] 

  Shirley : What are you rugrats doing in here?

  Julie Thompson : We're trying to get to Grandma's.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Who ships their kids to Grandma's? Don't they got to be in a box or something?

  Shirley : Harvey, stop thinking. You're not good at it. I'll handle this. I know how to talk to these little droolers.

  [to the twins nicely] 

  Shirley : Hi there. My name is Shirley... and this is my husband Harvey. What are your little names?

  Sarah Thompson : [Mockingly]  My little name is Sarah.

  Julie Thompson : [Mockingly]  My little name is Julie.

  Shirley : [to Harvey]  Are these shrimps making fun of me?

  Harvey 'Harv' : I'm not sure... I think so.

  Shirley : Okay, I'm through with this child psychology junk.

  [to the twins with a serious tone] 

  Shirley : Was that guy driving the truck your daddy?

  Sarah Thompson : No, he was taking us home.

  Julie Thompson : We don't want to go home.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Wha wha wha why not?

  Sarah Thompson : Mommy said we're a handful.

  Julie Thompson : We're giving her a vacation!

  Shirley : And that's why you want to get to your Granny's? Well, aren't you two sweet to give your mom a break like that? Excuse us one minute.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Nice meeting you guys.

  Sarah Thompson : See you later guys.

  [the twins wave] 

• Sarah Thompson : Why do you always have to win?

  Julie Thompson : Because I'm a winner. Hmph.

• Eddie Popko : So let me get this straight; you packed your bags, you rode your bike around the block, you hopped the bus, looked at the Princess Penny dolls, and then snuck in the back of my truck so I'd drive you to your Great-Grandma's house in Edgemont.

  Julie Thompson : You forgot we put chicken legs in a hat.

  Eddie Popko : Oh, right. But I'm guessing that your mom doesn't know anything about this.

  Sarah Thompson : No we're giving her a vacation.

  Eddie Popko : Well, she outta be going nuts right about now wondering where the hell you two went.

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Ummmmm...

  Eddie Popko : Oh, yeah right. The H word.

• Eddie Popko : [Getting out of his truck while singing a tune]  Black coffee for all the cowboys. Black coffee for the cowgirls too. Black coffee...

  [He knocks over the snowman the twins were building, causing them to gasp] 

  Sarah Thompson : Mister you killed our snowman!

  Eddie Popko : I don't see any snowman.

  [Looks around] 

  Julie Thompson : That's because you killed him!

  Eddie Popko : [Eddie looks down]  Whoops. Right. He doesn't look too good. But hey it's 65 degrees out here, he would've been a puddle by noon.

  Sarah Thompson : We're telling!

  Eddie Popko : Oh no. no, no. Pl Please don't tell. Because I'll get in trouble.

  Julie Thompson : That's the idea!

  Sarah Thompson , Julie Thompson : [Together]  Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

  Rhonda Thompson : [Appears at the window]  What's wrong?

  Sarah Thompson , Julie Thompson : [Together]  That man killed Frosty!

  Eddie Popko : Rhonda, you're a mommy?... Uh I got a package for you.

  Rhonda Thompson : I'll be right down.

  Sarah Thompson : When my mom gets here, you are gonna get it!

  Eddie Popko : Can't believe it. Sludgee babe's a mom.

  Julie Thompson : A real mom who can get you in big trouble!

  [Eddie gives the girls a "Yeah right" glare] 

  Rhonda Thompson : [Comes outside]  Hello Eddie.

  Julie Thompson : Make him go to his room!

  Eddie Popko : Hey if you send me to my room, then you won't get your package.

  [Shakes the package] 

  Eddie Popko : Sounds like a present.

  [Winks at Rhonda] 

• Eddie Popko : [after singing Happy Trails]  Yee-Haw!

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Yee-Haw!

  Eddie Popko : You kids can keep your guns and your roses, I'll take Roy Rogers any day. A guy that can ride a horse and play the guitar at the same time, now that's talent.

• Eddie Popko : [Catching up to the runaway sleigh]  Hi girls, Remember me? We had ice cream. Hold on, I'll be right back.

  [Eddie gets in front of the girls] 

  Sarah Thompson : Where do you think you're going?

  Eddie Popko : [Prepares to jump]  Hold steady boys, I'm coming on. Ahh!

  [Jumps on the horse to his right, struggles to stay on] 

  Julie Thompson : You're falling off the horse!

  Eddie Popko : I know that!

  Sarah Thompson : I thought you were a cowboy!

• Sarah Thompson : Which way is Edgemont?

  Shirley : Edgemont? Is that where your Granny lives? Well, that is just where we're just headed. You kids want a ride?

  Julie Thompson : Yes,we do

  Sarah Thompson : Excuse me, I got to go talk to my sister.

  Shirley : Oh, yeah. Sure sure take your time.

  Julie Thompson : What is it?

  Sarah Thompson : We can't go with them.

  Julie Thompson : What do you want to do, walk to Grandma's?

  Sarah Thompson : Remember mom's rules? Never get in a car with strangers.

  Julie Thompson : Oh, yeah. But remember mom's other rule? Never going outside after dark?

  Sarah Thompson : Oh, yeah.

  [Simultaneously trash cans clatter and a cat meows loudly, catching the twins' attention] 

  Sarah Thompson : It's dark.

  Julie Thompson : It's very dark.

  Julie Thompson : [Suddenly disappointed]  Why did I ever listen to you?

  Sarah Thompson : Because I'm the smart one.

  Julie Thompson : Okay smart one, what do we do now?

  Sarah Thompson : I'm smart, but I'm not a genius.

  Shirley : Okay, let's go!

• Harvey 'Harv' : Isn't it a lovely evening for a press walk?

  Shirley : Yes.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Watch it, joggers coming through!

  [Harvey's fanny pack comes loose] 

  Eddie Popko : Oh, sir you dropped your fanny pack.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Oh those things come loose all the time.

  Shirley : Thank you very much!

  [Jumps and hits Eddie with both her hands] 

  Eddie Popko : Ugh!

  Harvey 'Harv' : I love it when you get physical Shirl.

  Shirley : Not now Harv, get in the truck!

  [Harvey and Shirley drive off with the truck, unaware that the twins are back there. Eddie gets up in time to see his truck go off in the distance] 

  Sarah Thompson : Where's Eddie?

  Julie Thompson : I don't know.

  Sarah Thompson : Who are they?

  Julie Thompson : I don't know. You're the one who knows everything.

  Sarah Thompson : I hope they're going to Grandma's.

• Julie Thompson : [while getting ice cream, Eddie plays Win-O-Lotto]  I want to play!

  Sarah Thompson : Me too!

  Eddie Popko : Well, you certainly been good luck so far. Tell you what, you can help me pick my numbers. When's your birthday?

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  June 13th, 1987.

  Julie Thompson : But I came out first, so I'm older.

  Sarah Thompson : By one minute.

  Julie Thompson : But I'm still older

  Eddie Popko : Okay alright. Six, thirteen, nineteen, eight and seven. Sounds like a winner.

  [Hands ticket to clerk] 

  Eddie Popko : You know, I'm due to win this. No really, I have a system.

  [Turns to the twins] 

  Eddie Popko : Girls, feels like a winner.

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Can I hold it? Can I hold it?

  Eddie Popko : Alright, wait a minute. I know where this is going.

  [to Julie] 

  Eddie Popko : Okay, you're the oldest, you can keep it in your purse.

  Julie Thompson : Ha!

  Eddie Popko : For the first half of the trip, and you're gonna keep it for the second half of the trip.

  Sarah Thompson : Ha Ha!

• Rhonda Thompson : [Getting ready for work and school]  Okay, hold still. Almost ready.

  [Julie snatches Sarah's hat off her head] 

  Rhonda Thompson : Julie, leave Sarah's hat alone.

  Julie Thompson : I want this one.

  Sarah Thompson : It was on my head, give it back.

  Rhonda Thompson : Ladies, these hats are exactly the same.

  Julie Thompson : She always gets the good hat.

  Sarah Thompson : That's because I'm a good girl.

  Rhonda Thompson : Girls, don't start.

  Sarah Thompson : Sorry, mommy. I love you.

  Julie Thompson : I love you bigger.

  Sarah Thompson : No way!

  Julie Thompson : Yes way!

  Rhonda Thompson : Look ladies, I love you the same. You love me the same. End of discussion. Now, I'm gonna be late for work. You're gonna be late for kindergarten. Let's go.

  Julie Thompson : [Exiting the apartment running]  I get the front seat!

  Sarah Thompson : No way!

  Julie Thompson : Yes way!

  Sarah Thompson : No way!

  Julie Thompson : Yes way!

  Sarah Thompson : No way!

  Rhonda Thompson : [Locks the door, runs to follow them]  You're both in the back!

• Julie Thompson : [In the back of Eddie's truck]  This will never work.

  Sarah Thompson : It is gonna work.

  Julie Thompson : How do you know it's gonna work?

  Sarah Thompson : How do you know it's not gonna work?

  Julie Thompson : You're impossible.

  [Sarah shakes her head in disagreement while Julie shakes her head yes with a "Yes you are" expression] 

• Julie Thompson : You can stop waiving.

  Sarah Thompson : We're not waiving back!

  Harvey 'Harv' : ...They're just having fun.

  Julie Thompson : You are a liar!

  Sarah Thompson : He is not an elf!

  Harvey 'Harv' : [to the parents around him]  Like none of you have trouble with your kids.

• Sarah Thompson : [Eddie has stopped the sleigh and saved the girls]  That was fun!

  Julie Thompson : Can we do it again?

  Eddie Popko : No, we can't.

• Eddie Popko : [Running back to Rhonda's apartment]  I knew my system worked! Rhonda! Rhonda! Hey, uh, meet me at the window!

  Rhonda Thompson : What do you want?

  Eddie Popko : [Sidesteps]  Meet me over here! Rhonda, I... Meet me at the door! I'm coming up!

  [Runs inside, gets near Rhonda's door] 

  Eddie Popko : I'm here! Open up!

  Rhonda Thompson : [Rhonda opens the door, Eddie slides in]  What? What?

  Eddie Popko : [Out of breath]  Rhonda...

  Rhonda Thompson : What?

  Eddie Popko : I have to get some water...

  Rhonda Thompson : You ran all the way back here for a glass of water?

  Eddie Popko : [Drinks water]  OK, I can talk now. Whew! Rhonda, I was a... a jerk, and an idiot, and a moron.

  Rhonda Thompson : I know all that.

  Eddie Popko : OK, but what you don't know is, I want to help you find your girls.

  Rhonda Thompson : [Shocked]  Since when?

  Eddie Popko : Uh... Since I was just thinking about all the fun that I had with the girls and... And how we went out for ice cream and we bought a lottery ticket... And it's a winner. Wouldn't you know it? I mean, that ticket must be in one of their purses.

  Rhonda Thompson : [Not pleased]  You greedy little worm.

  [the phone rings, Rhonda rushes to pick up the phone] 

  Rhonda Thompson : Hello?

  Shirley : Hi. Uh, Rhonda Thompson?

  Rhonda Thompson : Yes?

  Shirley : Yeah, Rhonda, it was the craziest thing. I found your girls sitting in the back of an FPD truck.

  Rhonda Thompson : [Excited]  You found my girls?

  Eddie Popko : Oh, they found the girls? And how about those, those, those little purses?

  Rhonda Thompson : [Now worried]  Are they okay?

  Rhonda Thompson : Yeah, are you kidding? They're playing Whack-a-Mole!

  [Turns to the girls] 

  Rhonda Thompson : Hey girls, say hi to your mom!

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Hi, Mom!

  Julie Thompson : We got enough tickets for yo-yos!

  Harvey 'Harv' : Aw, can't we get the paddle ball?

  Sarah Thompson : Next time, Harv.

  [They get back to playing] 

  Shirley : Uh, Rhonda, Rhonda, just out of curiosity, is there a reward involved here?

  Rhonda Thompson : Reward?

  Shirley : Um, I was hoping it might be... $10,000?

  Rhonda Thompson : $10,000? You don't want a reward, you want ransom!

  Eddie Popko : We'll get the money!

  Rhonda Thompson : Eddie!

  Shirley : Tell that guy it's a deal. I'll meet you at the skating rink at Edgemont, at 3:00. Uh, wear a red hat so I know how to find you. And don't tell the police about this or I just might get lost.

  Rhonda Thompson : All right, no police. Just take care of my girls.

  Shirley : They're happy as clams. Oh, and speaking of clams, I would like my reward in cash. See you tomorrow.

  [Hangs up] 

  Harvey 'Harv' : Wow! I broke the record! Shirley, I got the best score of the day!

  Shirley : [Gives a thumbs up]  Harv, we're on a roll.

• Julie Thompson : [Making a delivery]  Wait for us!

  Eddie Popko : I told you twinheads to stay in the truck.

  Sarah Thompson : We want to help.

  Eddie Popko : Well, you can't help. You're not a professional. It took me two weeks of training to earn this shoulder patch.

  Julie Thompson : What do you do?

  Eddie Popko : Well, I... I give the customers their package, and they sign for it.

  Julie Thompson : You got a patch for that?

  Crotchety Man : [Coming outside]  Hey, what do you want? Listen, I'm trying to take a nap.

  Eddie Popko : Oh, yes sir. Package from FPD.

  Crotchety Man : Oh yeah.

  Eddie Popko : Sign right here, please.

  Crotchety Man : Sure.

  Sarah Thompson : Merry Christmas.

  Julie Thompson : Happy holidays.

  Crotchety Man : Would you look at that? Santa's little helpers, helping out their dad. Well, I think that calls for a little tip.

  [Takes out wallet, hands first dollar to Sarah] 

  Crotchety Man : For you.

  [Hands another dollar to Julie] 

  Crotchety Man : And you.

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Thank you.

  Crotchety Man : And here's one for you too, Dad.

  Eddie Popko : Oh, well thank you, sir. Merry Christmas to you.

  [Waves to the customer] 

  Eddie Popko : [to himself]  First tip I ever got on this crappy job.

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Ummmm...

• Julie Thompson : Hey, look! There's Mommy's store!

  Sarah Thompson : Yeah it is!

  Julie Thompson : You're not taking us to Grandma's!

  Eddie Popko : I'm not?

  Sarah Thompson : You're taking us home!

  Eddie Popko : OK, well, you kids may as well learn this now. Grownups will say anything to get kids to cooperate.

  Sarah Thompson : You take us to Grandma's right now. This is no joke!

  Eddie Popko : Well, I told your mom that I'm bringing you home, and that's no joke.

  [Stops the truck] 

  Eddie Popko : OK, now I want you kids to go back there and get your suitcases and I'll meet you around the back.

  Julie Thompson : Grinch!

  Eddie Popko : What'd you call me?

  Julie Thompson : I called you a Grinch!

  Eddie Popko : [Ignoring the insult]  Oh, OK. Well, just checking.

• Eddie Popko : Well you got to admit, kids, that was one hell of a ride.

  Sarah Thompson , Julie Thompson : [Together]  Ummmm...

  Eddie Popko : Oh, right, right the H-word. OK. Well, come on down for me. You two scared me half to death.

• Saxaphone Player : Hey, did you just drop a chicken bone in my case?

  Julie Thompson : There's still some meat on there.

  Saxaphone Player : Oh, okay.

  [Continues playing Jingle all the Way] 

  Sarah Thompson : Merry Christmas.

• Julie Thompson : [On a runaway sleigh]  These reindeer are fast.

  Sarah Thompson : They have to be. They go around the whole world in one night.

  Eddie Popko : [Following behind]  We're moving now! I hope you know which way we're going. Yee-haw!

  Sarah Thompson : Go, Rudolph! Go, Prancer!

  Julie Thompson : That's Blitzen!

  Sarah Thompson : How do you know it's Blitzen?

  Julie Thompson : How do you know it's not?

  Eddie Popko : Come on, we got to catch them! Come on, dig! Yeah!

  [Sees the sleigh] 

  Eddie Popko : Yeah! Yeah! Come on! Girls, hold on! I'm on my way!

• Sarah Thompson : [All packed up and ready to leave]  I'll leave Mommy's present here.

  [Places present under the tree] 

  Sarah Thompson : Let's go, Julie!

  Sarah Thompson : [Outside on their bikes]  Grandma's, here we come!

  Julie Thompson : On your mark, get set, we're out of here!

  [Pedals] 

  Julie Thompson : [the twins go in different directions]  See you later.

  Sarah Thompson : [Stops pedaling]  Where you going?

  Julie Thompson : Grandma lives this way!

  Sarah Thompson : No, Grandma lives this way!

  Julie Thompson : You'll be sorry!

  Sarah Thompson : No, you'll be sorry!

  Julie Thompson : No, you'll be sorry!

  Sarah Thompson : [Begins to pedal away]  Okay, big shot, I'll call you from Grandma's!

  Julie Thompson : [Struggles to turn around]  Wait! Wait, Sarah wait! Wait, Sarah! Wait, Sarah! Wait!

  Sarah Thompson : Maybe next time you'll listen! So, come on, Julie!

  [They pedal on, then shop when a car passes them] 

  Sarah Thompson : Uh-oh.

  Julie Thompson : We're not allowed to cross the street.

  Sarah Thompson : That's why I said "Uh-oh!"

  [Turns to their left] 

  Sarah Thompson : We're cruising to Grandma's!

  Julie Thompson : [Coming to a hill]  I hate going uphill.

  Sarah Thompson : [Sarah pedals easily, while Julie struggles]  Keep pedaling, don't give up.

  Julie Thompson : Oh, no!

  Julie Thompson : Are we there yet?

  Sarah Thompson : I don't think so. That's our next-door neighbor. Hi, Mr. Johnson!

  Julie Thompson : [Stops in front of their home, disappointed]  We're back where we started.

  Sarah Thompson : This is not working.

  Julie Thompson : [a bus approaches]  That is very lucky.

  Sarah Thompson : Let's go!

  [They run for the bus] 

  Sarah Thompson : Don't let the driver see you. Go in the back door.

  [They sneak in the back] 

  Sarah Thompson : Try to look really small

  Julie Thompson : I am really small.

  [They enter inside the bus, it takes off] 

• Old Woman on Bus : And now for today's weather report: it's gonna be partly cloudy with a high of 65, or maybe not. No snow flies today. Back to you, Bill.

  Julie Thompson : My name isn't Bill.

  Old Woman on Bus : Oh, I'm so sorry. Just practicing; you never know when they may need a new weathergirl.

  Sarah Thompson : Does this bus go to Grandma's?

  Old Woman on Bus : I don't know, where does Grandma live?

  Sarah Thompson : She lives in Edgemont.

  Old Woman on Bus : Oh, girls. That's three hours from here. This bus goes downtown, then it goes uptown, and then it goes back downtown. Get the idea?

  Sarah Thompson : [to Julie]  We're on the wrong bus.

  [Julie nods in agreement] 

  Old Woman on Bus : [the bus comes to a stop]  Hope you get to Grandma's. Merry Christmas, girls.

  Sarah Thompson : Merry Christmas, lady.

  Julie Thompson : A very Merry Christmas, lady.

  [Turns to Sarah] 

  Julie Thompson : I beat you again.

  Sarah Thompson : [while exiting the bus]  You got a problem.

  Julie Thompson : No, you got a problem.

  Sarah Thompson : No, you got a problem.

  Julie Thompson : No, you got a problem.

  Sarah Thompson : No, you got a problem.

  Julie Thompson : No, you got a problem.

  Sarah Thompson : You are starting to get on my nerves.

  Julie Thompson : You are getting on my nerves.

  Sarah Thompson : Don't start that again.

  Julie Thompson : You started it.

• Harvey 'Harv' : Here's me at my high-school reunion. I didn't graduate so I had to sneak in, heh. Here's me and Shirley on our very first date.

  Shirley : Our parole officer fixed us up.

  Harvey 'Harv' : [Turns the page]  Here's a good one of you, Shirley. I look okay.

  Shirley : Yeah, those were taken after our second date.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Remember we went dancing and then we tried to knock over that liquor store?

  Sarah Thompson : You tried to knock a store over?

  Harvey 'Harv' : No, we didn't try to 'knock it over' knock it over. We were... holding it up.

  Julie Thompson : Why? Was it falling down?

  Harvey 'Harv' : [Trying to think]  Not 'holding it up' holding it up...

  Shirley : OK, let's give the think tank a rest. Time to grab some shuteye, into bed, you two.

  Harvey 'Harv' : OK, bedtime.

  [Escorts the girls to bed] 

  Harvey 'Harv' : In bed.

  Shirley : Chop-chop, you guys.

  Harvey 'Harv' : [Tucks the girls in]  All right, the bathroom is right there. Refrigerator's full in case you get hungry. Goodnight, Sarah. Goodnight, Julie.

  Julie Thompson : Goodnight, Harv.

  Sarah Thompson : Goodnight, Shirley.

  Shirley : Goodnight, girls.

  Harvey 'Harv' : Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.

  Shirley : [Somewhat impressed]  That was sweet, Harv.

  Harvey 'Harv' : My dad always used to say that. Of course, we really did have bedbugs, so it's not like he was trying to be sweet.

  Shirley : Well, we got work to do.

  [Harvey and Shirley walk away from the twins] 

  Sarah Thompson : No bedtime story?

  Julie Thompson : What do you expect? We're sleeping on a table.

• Eddie Popko : Okay, you guys ready to go?

  Sarah Thompson : [Muffled up]  You promise to take us to Grandma's?

  Eddie Popko : Yeah, yeah, whatever. Well look at you two slobs there, did you get any of that sandwich in your mouth?

  [Wipes Sarah's mouth] 

  Julie Thompson : How come you don't like kids?

  Eddie Popko : Well, you want to know why? I'll tell you why.

  [Wipes Julie's mouth] 

  Eddie Popko : Because you're little. You don't know nothing, you haven't done nothing, and you got nothing to say.

  Julie Thompson : Uh-huh!

  Sarah Thompson : Uh-huh!

  Eddie Popko : Okay, smart guys. If you could do anything in the world, what would you do?

  Sarah Thompson : I would finger-paint.

  Julie Thompson : That is very fun.

  Eddie Popko : Okay, well, I think I just made my point. All right, coats on. Let's ride.

  Julie Thompson : Waitress! He forgot to pay the bill!

  Waitress : [Off-screen]  I'll be right there.

  Eddie Popko : We don't need an announcement here. I was gonna pay the bill, I got the money right here.

  Julie Thompson : Just making sure.

  Eddie Popko : [Sarcastically]  Yeah.

  Eddie Popko : All right, let's go.

  Julie Thompson : To Grandma's, right?

  Sarah Thompson : Right!

• [while reading How the Grinch Stole Christmas] 

  Julie Thompson : Is the Grinch going to keep the Christmas presents?

  Sarah Thompson : Nah, we saw this on TV. He gives the presents back at the end.

  Rhonda Thompson : Well Sarah, I guess you pretty much took the surprise out of that surprise ending.

  [Turns to the very end of the page] 

  Rhonda Thompson : Oh, but wait, there is a surprise ending.

  [Reading out] 

  Rhonda Thompson : "Sarah and Julie go to bed on time tonight." It says that right here.

  Sarah Thompson : Mommy, you know we can't read.

  Rhonda Thompson : Then you're just gonna have to trust me on this. Let's go, up you go. Time for bed.

• Waitress : OK, you ready to order?

  Sarah Thompson : I'll have peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter on top, smooth but not crunchy, and cut off all the crust, please

  Julie Thompson : I'll have the same, but extra jelly, please.

  Eddie Popko : Yeah, I'll take the same thing. You can leave my crust on please.

  Waitress : Gotcha.

• Rhonda Thompson : This just never stops. It's "Girls, eat your dinner. Girls, get in the bath, get out of the bath. Girls, go to sleep. I mean it, girls, go to sleep."

  [the twins listen] 

  Rhonda Thompson : Every time I turn around, Sarah and Julie are into some kind of trouble.

  Stacey : You know, you need a vacation.

  Rhonda Thompson : [Breaking down in tears]  I would love a vacation. Sometimes, the girls can be such a handful. All I want for Christmas is just a couple of days by myself. No girls, no sludgees, no nothing.

  Sarah Thompson : Julie, come here.

  [the twins walk into the living room] 

  Stacey : You'll be OK.

  Julie Thompson : We made Mommy cry.

  Sarah Thompson : That's because we're a handful.

  Rhonda Thompson : Bye, girls. I'm going to work. Please stay out of trouble, at least until I get back. Here are my keys, Stace, in case they need more toys.

  Stacey : OK, bye, Rhonda.

  Sarah Thompson : Bye, Mommy.

  Stacey : I got to feed the baby, okay?

  [Stacey walks back into the kitchen] 

  Julie Thompson : Mommy wants a vacation from us.

  Sarah Thompson : We could go to Grandma Mimi's house for Christmas.

  Julie Thompson : Good idea, let's do it.

• [the girls are riding in the back of Eddie's truck. He's singing The Sons of the Pioneers' "I'm an Old Cowhand," and Julie is irritated] 

  Julie Thompson : He's making my ears hurt.

  Sarah Thompson : I gotta go to the bathroom.

  Julie Thompson : You should've gone before we left the house.

  Sarah Thompson : I didn't have to go then, but I have to go now.

  [Comes out of hiding] 

  Sarah Thompson : Mister!

  [Eddie looks back in shock] 

  Sarah Thompson : I got to go to the bathroom!

  [He pulls over to the right, the twins run towards him] 

  Eddie Popko : Where the hell did you come from?

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Ummm...

  Julie Thompson : You said the H-word.

  [Eddie still looks confused] 

  Sarah Thompson : I got to go to the bathroom, and this is no joke!

  Eddie Popko : Right.

  [Sits both Julie and Sarah on the passenger seat] 

  Eddie Popko : All right, you kids sit right here. I'll find you a bathroom. In the meantime, sing a cowboy song. It takes your mind off your problems.

  [Motions to them] 

  Eddie Popko : Yippee yi yo kayay!

  Sarah Thompson : Yippee yi yo Kayay... This is NOT working!

  Eddie Popko : Just hold on, I'll try and get you to a bathroom as soon as I can.

  [Starts the truck and gets back on the road] 

  Sarah Thompson : Doesn't this thing go any faster?

  Eddie Popko : [Pulling into a parking space]  We're here, we're here. Just hold your horses; and everything else.

  Sarah Thompson : All these turns are not helping.

• Shirley : Hey, hey, hey! There's our money!

  Harvey 'Harv' : Hey, girls!

  [Harvey and Shirley wave] 

  Harvey 'Harv' : It's us, your buddies, Harvey and Shirley!

  Sarah Thompson : Oh, no! Not them again!

  [the twins grab straps] 

  Julie Thompson : Run, Rudolph, fly!

  Sarah Thompson : Go to Grandma's house!

  Sarah Thompson , Julie Thompson : [Together]  Giddy Up! Giddy Up!

  [the horses disguised as reindeer take off] 

  Shirley : Come on, Harv!

  Sarah Thompson : Merry Christmas!

  Julie Thompson : Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah!

  Harvey 'Harv' : [chasing]  Sarah, Julie! Wait! Sarah, Julie, grab that thing! Stop!

  Eddie Popko : Hey! Stop those girls!

  Rhonda Thompson : Julie! Sarah!

  [the twins fall backwards] 

  Sarah Thompson , Julie Thompson : [Together]  Whoa!

  [Eddie tries to stop the sleigh but dives out of the way] 

  Eddie Popko : Whoa!

  Rhonda Thompson : My girls! Somebody help!

  Eddie Popko : I'm on my way!

  Rhonda Thompson : Hurry, Eddie! Hurry!

  Eddie Popko : I'm on my way!

  Rhonda Thompson : Girls!

  [Sees the sleigh go out in the road] 

  Rhonda Thompson : Stop! Eddie, come on!

  [He grabs Buttercup, the pony the twins were riding earlier] 

  Eddie Popko : Come on, Trigger, let's go.

  [the next shot shows a clip of Roy Rogers hopping onto a horse] 

  Eddie Popko : All right! Come on, fella, follow that sleigh! Wait, no, no. No more circles! You're free! You're free! You don't have to do these kiddie rides anymore! Thataway, boy. You're gonna be a hero, come on!

  Rhonda Thompson : Hurry, Eddie! Hurry!

  Santa : Take the low road. You can cut them off at the pass.

  Eddie Popko : I always wanted to cut someone off at the pass.

• Eddie Popko : Mmm. Here are your sundaes.

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together]  Thank you.

  Sarah Thompson : Hey, she got more whipped cream.

  Julie Thompson : Hey, you got more nuts!

  Eddie Popko : Here.

  [He takes off a little bit of whipped cream off of Julie's sundae and a nut off of Sarah's sundae] 

  Eddie Popko : There, now you're even.

  Sarah Thompson : That was very unpolite.

  [Eddie makes a 'What did I do wrong?' expression] 

• Julie Thompson : [Sarah and Julie enter Rhonda's bedroom; she's still asleep They open her blinds, then jump on the bed]  ,

  Julie Thompson , Sarah Thompson : [Together while bouncing on the bed]  Wake up, Mommy. Wake up, Mommy.

  Rhonda Thompson : Oh, girls. Girls! Let Mommy sleep just for a little longer.

  Sarah Thompson : OK, go back to sleep.

  Rhonda Thompson : Thank you.

  [Julie lifts the pillow that's covering Rhonda's head] 

  Julie Thompson : Are you asleep yet?

  Rhonda Thompson : Yes. I'm sound asleep. Let Mommy sleep just until the alarm goes off.

  [the alarm goes off] 

  Julie Thompson : Get her!

  [the girls pull Rhonda out of the covers] 

  Rhonda Thompson : Oh, no, girls. Mommy doesn't...

  Sarah Thompson : You have to go to work.

  Julie Thompson : You have to.

  Rhonda Thompson : I don't want to go to work.

  Julie Thompson : You have to. What about breakfast?

• [Riding on Buttercup] 

  Julie Thompson : How do we get to Grandma's?

  Sarah Thompson : Not on Buttercup.

  Julie Thompson : We need help.

• [the twins pass a toy store, which gets Julie's attention] 

  Julie Thompson : [Excited]  A Princess Penny! Wow! We got to go in there!

  Sarah Thompson : We got to go to Grandma's.

  Julie Thompson : But it's Princess Penny!

  Sarah Thompson : I know, but we got to go!

  [Sarah drags her away] 

  Julie Thompson : But it's Princess Penny.

  [Turns back] 

  Julie Thompson : [Sad tone]  It was Princess Penny. Come on, Sarah...

  Sarah Thompson : Give it up, Julie!