Ted Roddy: Special Agent Travis Byrd

Quotes 

• Webb Wilder : What's the matter brother? Somebody badmouth Earnest Tubb or somethin'?

  Special Agent Travis Byrd : Worse! It's bad enough to have some Hairball run down Elvis, I'm just about shit sick of Elvis jokes, but that he's gonna be blowin' a reefer in my face while he's doin' it!

  Webb Wilder : Let it go, let it go. I know this one Travis. It's a misdemeanor. Hairball won't do it anymore, will ya' Hairball? Now if it wasn't for fat ol' dead Elvis Presley, none o' y'all ever would've heard of Jimmy Hendrix, or Peter & Gabrial, or Dell Whitney Shane or whoever the Hell it is that floats your boat!

• Webb Wilder : [after watching a sample clip of Briley's Driver's Education film]  That looked like it hurt.

  Special Agent Travis Byrd : [holds up a model of a severed human head]  It's at this point in the movie Briley wants this thrown into the audience.

  [tosses it to Webb] 

  Webb Wilder : Cute Trick.

  Mr. Frye : Dismemberment is not cute!

  Briley Parkway : No, it's disgusting Mr. Frye. Something you know quite a lot about. However, it's also effective, which I guess remains more of a mystery.

  Mr. Frye : You vapid, shallow, narcissistic, congenitally misinformed, moronic, Napoleonic fop!

• Special Agent Travis Byrd : Everybody freeze, or I'm gonna pop the top on a tall-boy can o' whoopass!