Richard Provost: God

Pasaporte al cielo

God

[last lines]
God, God: Have you made up your mind?
Amanda Brooks: Look, I don't want to be a problem, but it's not an easy decision. I really liked being a man.
God: Naturally.
Amanda Brooks: But being a woman had its advantages.
God: Definitely.
Amanda Brooks: Can I think about just a little longer?
God, God: Take your time. You have all eternity.

The Devil: Excuse me.
God, God: Yes.
The Devil: I wish to lodge a complaint.
God, God: What is it this time?
The Devil: I have as much right to Steve Brooks' soul as you do.
God: That's why I sent him back. If he can't find one female who likes him, then his soul is yours.
The Devil: Well, that's not a fair test. He'll pick some helpless, unsuspecting female, pretend to be everything he's not. In the end, she'll adore him. And you'll be honor abound to admit an unregenerate debaucher into Heaven.
God: What do you suggest?
The Devil: Teach him a lesson. And at the same time, make it impossible for him to work his macho machinations onto any more unsuspecting female.
God, God: And how do I do that?
The Devil: Easy. Make him a woman.

Steve Brooks: Where am I?
God: Purgatory.
Steve Brooks: Where's that?
God: Between Heaven and Hell.
Steve Brooks: What happens now?
God: Well, on one hand, you've earned enough credits to get you into Heaven.
Steve Brooks: Oh, thank God.
God, God: You're welcome.
God: On the other hand, you've been consistently rotten to women, you deserve to go straight to Hell.
Steve Brooks: That's pretty rotten.
God: Perfect record. They all hate you.
Steve Brooks: All of them?
God, God: As far as I know.
Steve Brooks: Ugh, you should know, but it's kinda hard for me to believe that there aren't at least a couple of woman...
God: Right now, I'll settle for one. So I've decided that you should go back and try to find one female who truly likes Steve Brooks.
God: If you find her, you go to Heaven. If you don't, you will spend eternity in Hell.
Steve Brooks: Back?
God, God: Unless you have a better suggestion.
Steve Brooks: No, no. Back's fine. Back's terrific.

Amanda Brooks: Wow, what a beautiful baby.
God, God: Yes. You did well.
Amanda Brooks: Wish I could be there and watch her grow up.
God: Oh, you can watch her grow up. But in the meantime you have to decide whether you want to be male...
God: ...or a female angel.
Amanda Brooks: Oh, hey, now, that's a tough one. Okay if I think about it for a while?