Whoopi Goldberg creditado como jogando...
Rose Schwartz
- Montana Moorehead: [as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up] WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!
- Jeffrey Anderson: [annoyed] I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me!
- [Ariel and Rose enter as doctors]
- Jeffrey Anderson: Doctor!
- Ariel Maloney: A second opinion...
- [Celeste mouths to Rose asking what she's doing]
- Ariel Maloney: ...this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.
- Rose Schwartz: Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigations, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse - Montana Moorehead - because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island. Hello!
- [Rose opens the high school yearbook showing Montana's teenage boy photo]
- Montana Moorehead: [shouts and runs off] NO! NO! NO!
- Rose Schwartz: The guy was killed in an auto accident! I looked it up! He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, to visit his brother who's an ex-con named Frances, when a tractor trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that mean, it means he doesn't have a head. How am I suppose to write for a guy who doesn't have a head? He's got no lips, no vocal cords. What do you want me to do?
- David Barnes: They froze the head. They put it on ice. They put it back on in a precedent setting two-day operation. You know, its like, would you use your imagination.
- Rose Schwartz: He doesn't have a head!
- Edmund Edwards: She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.
- Rose Schwartz: Yeah.
- Edmund Edwards: We have to love her.
- Rose Schwartz: Mmm.
- Edmund Edwards: We have to care about her.
- Rose Schwartz: Mmm.
- Edmund Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.
- David Barnes: I was under orders.
- Celeste Talbert: So - was - Hitler! Oh, no, I don't mean Hitler, I mean the other guy, the other one.
- David Barnes: Himmler.
- Celeste Talbert: No, no, no.
- David Barnes: Hess.
- Rose Schwartz: Eichmann.
- David Barnes: Eichmann.
- Celeste Talbert: Eichmann! Thank you. Eichmann!
- [points at David]
- Celeste Talbert: That's you.
- Rose Schwartz: I could write you out for six months. You could take a sabbatical. Six months you'd be gone. We'll just say that Maggie went to Tibet to visit with the Dalai Lama. Like a spiritual thing.
- Celeste Talbert: I thought the Dalai Lama moved to LA?
- Rose Schwartz: Well, then some other Lama. It doesn't matter. Fernando Lamas.
- Nitwit Executive: Ariel should be raped by Father Cory.
- Nitwit Executive: I think the Contessa should be kidnapped by some colored guy.
- Rose Schwartz: Colored guy?
- Rose Schwartz: What I want you to help me understand is making Celeste - Montana's mother. Now, did Celeste have her when she was five? Six? Seven? When?