Rubin and Ed (1991)

Crispin Glover: Rubin Farr

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rubin : My cat can eat a whole watermelon.

• Ed : Ever wonder why people wear clothes?

  Rubin : Nope.

  Ed : But...well, look at it this way. Man's best friend is his apparel. Now, you start to dress for success, and you will score with the babes, and make the big bucks. You gotta admit that's true!

  Rubin : I don't have to admit that.

  Ed : You have to admit that!

  Rubin : No, I don't!

  Ed : Yes, you do!

  Rubin : I don't have to admit anything!

  Ed : You have to admit there's hair on your head!

  Rubin : No, I don't!

  Ed : Yes, you do! You have to admit that!

  Rubin : No, I don't!

  Ed : But you have to admit your cat's dead! He's deader than a doornail! That cat is colder than a well digger's ass! Pretty hard to deny that isn't it, Mr. Smartypants? Yep. Deceased. El morto. No more Mr. Kittycat.

• Rubin : I am the king of the echo people!

• Rubin : Why don't you keep your hands off other people's refrigerators!

• Rubin's Mother : Why don't you go out and make yourself a friend?

  Rubin : No!

  RM : Yes!

  Rubin : No!

  RM : Well then take out the trash.

• Rubin : Those people are weird!