Muppet*vision 3-D (1991)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Swedish Chef, Waldorf

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kermit the Frog : We will also see a rousing finale from Sam the Eagle. What's it called, Sam?

  Sam the Eagle : It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America".

• Kermit the Frog : Sam, are you ready with that finale?

  Sam the Eagle : It's a glorious three-hour finale!

  Kermit the Frog : You got a minute and a half.

• Waldorf : Hey, hey, what's going on?

  Sweetums : Bean Bunny ran away!

  Statler : Well, you know what that makes him...

  Waldorf , Statler : SMARTER THAN US!

• [a banana cream pie comes flying out of the screen] 

  Kermit the Frog : What is that?

  Fozzie Bear : Isn't it great? It's my new remote-controlled banana cream pie. Hey Kermit... Watch this!

  [Fozzie presses a button and the remote control breaks causing the pie to spin and end up on Fozzie's face] 

  Kermit the Frog : Oh, Fozzie, that's terrible!

  Fozzie Bear : [tasting it]  Yeah, you're right... needs more sugar.

• Statler : Oh, no, it's that bear again.

  Waldorf : Hey, bear, you're not even funny in 3-D!

  [they laugh] 

  Fozzie Bear : Oh, no, not you guys. How'd you get here?

  Statler : We entered a contest.

  Waldorf : Yeah. We lost!

• Statler : Well, what do you think?

  Waldorf : Do we have time to go to the bathroom before the next show?

  Statler : We can't. We're bolted to the seats!

• [first lines] 

  Statler : Hey, Waldorf, what is this anyway?

  Waldorf : Oh, it's one of those 3-D movies. Better put on your glasses.

  [Statler does so] 

  Statler : [looking at the audience]  Hey, check out the guy in the Goofy mask.

  Waldorf : That's no mask.

  Statler : Ooops. Sorry, lady!

• Kermit the Frog : And our demonstration will also include a little song from Miss Piggy...

  Miss Piggy : [irritably clearing throat]  Little?

  Kermit the Frog : Little? Did I say little? I meant to say it's a huge, showstopping, major song from Miss Piggy?

  Miss Piggy : [sweetly]  That's more like it.

• Kermit the Frog : We invited some of the most distinguished scientists to come and work here. Unfortunately, none of them showed up.

• Kermit the Frog : [talking about the show]  It's going to be a swell demonstration, and at no time will we be stooping to any cheap 3D tricks.

  [Fozzie Bear enters] 

  Fozzie Bear : Did you say "cheap 3D tricks"?

  Kermit the Frog : Uh...

  [Fozzie blows a party streamer horn in the audience's direction] 

  Fozzie Bear : Ah! Oh, oh, and here's something I wanted to *spring* on you!

  [he takes out a peanut can and opens the lid. Spring snakes pop out] 

• [last lines] 

  Kermit the Frog : [coming in from hole in the wall on the end of a fire truck's ladder]  Uh, well, uh, ladies and gentlemen I'd like to apologize for the slight technical difficulties, but I do wish to assure you that no one was hurt and this theater only suffered minor damage. So, thank you very much for coming to see this demonstration of Muppet*Vision Technology and enjoy the rest of your day and come see us again sometime!

• Statler : [Bean is reunited with the other Muppets]  This is a very moving moment.

  Waldorf : Yeah. I wish they'd move it to Pittsburgh.

• Statler : He's trying to drown us! What kind of an act is that?

  Waldorf : An act of mercy!

  Statler , Waldorf : Doh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!