Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)

Jesse Ventura: Abraxas

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Abraxas is sitting in bed, bare-chested, when Tommy walks in] 

  Abraxas : Hello. I suppose you're not tired. Do you want to sit up here with me? I'll tell you a story. It's about two men who were partners.

• Secundus : [Upon seeing Abraxas]  What happened to your face?

  Abraxas : I was volted, T-squared!

  Secundus : Looks like they lined your skull with pla-steel.

  Abraxas : It's over.

  Secundus : Right. I win. The girl will bear my child, and he will be the answer.

  Abraxas : Why? You had it all. An almost immortal lifespan. Virtually unlimited power!

  Secundus : Almost? Virtually? It's not enough, when I can have it all! The key is the birth of a comater. The comater will be able to compute the anti-life equation. That child will be a comater. Join me. To stop me now, you have to kill the girl. I know you, you can't do that.

  Abraxas' Answer Box : Communication from command: Secundus will be transported to penal planet Tyrannus 7, a travel warp is operative.

  Secundus : HAHAHA! It doesn't matter! I win... see you soon Abraxas.

• Abraxas : What is our destination?

  Sonia Murray : We're going to Maxie's.

  Abraxas : Is Maxie a man?

  Sonia Murray : Yes.

  Abraxas : Is this man a friend of yours?

  Sonia Murray : A good friend. He grows organic apples which I buy from him.

  Abraxas : Is he a mating partner of yours?

  Sonia Murray : No. He's a good friend, but he's certainly not a mating partner.

  Abraxas : I understand. A non-conjugal relationship with a male member of your species.

  Sonia Murray : Yeah, that's what I said.

• Father : So what makes you think you can locate my 4-by-4?

  Abraxas : My box has VD, trust me.

  Mother : Your what?

  Abraxas : VD. Vibrational Detection.

• Abraxas : Tommy, RUN!

• Hite : You've endangered the lives of millions of people for the sake of one woman and one child.

  Abraxas : I think you're over-dramatizing the situation, Hite.

• Abraxas : My force was taught to avoid VD.