Riff-Raff (1991)

Jim R. Coleman: Shem

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Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Gus Siddon : Well the crux of it is... if you clock on late, you'll clock off a bloody sight earlier. Right? You got it? Thursday morning's payday. It's also sacking day. Be warned. We hire these skips, not for you lot to lean on. They've got to be filled. While I'm on about it, I trust none of you lot are signing on as well.

  Mo : I didn't think you could do that.

  Gus Siddon : You'd be surprised what some of you bastards get up to. I've had my eyes opened a few times, I'll tell you that.

  Shem : What type of things are you talking about?

  Gus Siddon : Thieving. Signing on under a false name. A casual approach to work. Laziness. And fucking foul language. We'll have no pissing in the corners... not allowed. Frowned upon.

  Shem : It's not very hygienic, is it?

  Gus Siddon : Bloody downright filthy.

  Mo : Can I ask you a question?

  Gus Siddon : Fire away.

  Mo : What's your views on the ozone layer?

  Gus Siddon : I'll turn a blind eye to it as long as it doesn't interfere with the job. Anything else?

  Off-screen : Any chance of the sun?

  Gus Siddon : You've got more chance of seeing a one-legged cat fuckin' bury a turd on a frozen pond.

  Smurph : [enters]  I've been told to report to Mr. Siddon about a job.

  Gus Siddon : Really? I thought you'd come to grant us three wishes. What's that?

  Smurph : Here's me P45. The dole told me to give it to you.

  Gus Siddon : I don't want... I don't want that. I don't want that at all. I don't want to know about your private life. Incidentally, tax. It's paid for by us, but the insurance is down to you. You're all self-employed. What's this about fucking P45s? Get these lot to work.