John Turturro credited as playing...
Bernie Bernbaum
- [Tom holds Bernie at gunpoint, and walks him out deeper into the forest]
- Bernie: Tommy, you can't do this! You don't bump guys! You're not like those animals back there. It's not right, Tom! They can't make us do this. It's the wrong situation, they can't make us different people than we are. We're not muscle, Tom. I... I... I... never killed anybody. I used a little information for a chisel, that's all. It's my nature, Tom! I... I... I... can't help it, somebody gives me an angle, I play it. I don't deserve to die for that. Do you think I do?
- [Tom doesn't answer, he just keeps walking]
- Bernie: I'm... I'm... I'm just a grifter, Tom. I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm an nobody! But I'll tell you what, I never crossed a friend, Tom. I never killed anybody, I never crossed a friend, nor you, I'll bet. We're not like those animals! This is not us! Th... th... this is some hop dream! It's a dream, Tommy! I'm praying to you! I can't die! I can't die... out here in the woods, like a dumb animal! In the woods, LIKE A DUMB ANIMAL! Like a dumb animal! I can't... I can't... I CAN'T DIE OUT HERE IN THE WOODS!... like a dumb animal. I can't... die!
- [Bernie falls to his knees, praying]
- Bernie: I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart...
- [Tom slowly aims his gun at Bernie]
- Bernie: I'm praying to you! Look in your heart. I'm praying to you... look in your heart... look in your heart! You can't kill me... look in your heart.
- Tom Reagan: [on finding someone sitting in the dark in his apartment] Hello Bernie.
- Bernie: Hello Tom. What's the rumpus? How'd you know it was me?
- Tom Reagan: You're the only one I know who'd knock and then break in.
- Bernie: Your other friends wouldn't break in, huh?
- Tom Reagan: My other friends want to kill me so they wouldn't've knocked.
- Tom Reagan: Leo gets your sister, what are you sellin' me?
- Bernie: Come on, Tom, it's not like that at all. It wasn't my idea. She'll sleep with anyone, you know that. She even tried to teach me a thing or two about that artistry. Can you believe that?
- [giggles]
- Bernie: My own sister. Some crackpot idea about saving me from my friends. She's a sick twist all right.
- Tom Reagan: She speaks highly of you.
- Bernie: Yeah, well, you stick by your family.
- Bernie: Don't smart me! See I wanna watch you squirm; I wanna see you sweat a little, and when you smart me... it ruins it.
- [Enters his apartment, sits down, puts his hat on his shoe, sighs, and finally picks up the ringing phone]
- Tom Reagan: Yeah? I need a couple of days. Because I don't have it. Because I say so. What would be good enough? Tell Lazarre if he's not happy he can send someone over to break me legs, I won't squawk.
- [Hangs up phone]
- Tom Reagan: Hello, Bernie.
- [Bernie is finally revealed to have been sitting across from Tom the whole time]
- Bernie: Hello, Tom. What's the rumpus?
- Tom Reagan: Come on in. Make yourself at home.
- Bernie: Yeah, you weren't here, so I thought I'd do that.
- Bernie: The point is, I can help you with your debts, if that would make us friends. My motto is: a guy can't have too many.
- Tom Reagan: Bernie. I had a dream about you the other day.
- Bernie: Yeah? A nightmare?
- Tom Reagan: On the contrary. Very sweet. I dreamt you were lying out at Miller's Crossing with your face blown off.
- Bernie: I got that crazy dago mad at me. Don't ask me why. I'm just a small timer trying to get by, like everyone else.