Alice (1990)

Joe Mantegna: Joe

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Alice and Joe have taken Chinese herbs that make them invisible. A cab pulls up to the curb, the back door opens by itself, and they get out] 

  Joe : Geez, nothing shocks these New York cab drivers!

• [explaining to Alice why he wants to have an affair with her] 

  Joe : There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.

• Alice : Is that where you where you met your wife? In commercials?

  Joe : Yeah, exactly. We were doing a spot for some detergent.

  Alice : Detergent.

  Joe : It was love at first sight. Christ, within half an hour we were making love in the ladies' room. Oh, excuse me.

  Alice : No, that's fine. You have a very charming way of telling things.

• Alice : This is a big step for me. I just feel - shouldn't it happen more gradually or something?

  Joe : Well, it hasn't exactly been rushed.

  Alice : Been rushed? Well, I don't know. It feels rushed. It feels rushed. I've been married now 15 years. I probably I'm just out of practice or something.

  Joe : It's not like juggling. You don't have to practise.

• Joe : [sitting together on the bed]  Relax.

  Alice : What's relaxed? It's not even dark. God, I prefer it when it's dark.

  Joe : Then you can't see anything.

  Alice : See? I am going to be going on a diet.

  [embrace and kiss] 

• Alice : Gee, this wine is really great.

  Joe : Well, it's Chambertin 1961.

  Alice : Mmm. You know so much about wine, too.

  Joe : I know nothing. I ordered the most expensive one and figured it must be the best.

• Joe : I like that kinky stuff. Remember the times we used to lock that door and make love on that couch?

  Vicki : Joe, that was a long time ago.

  Joe : No, no. It was after we got divorced.

  Vicki : Yeah, well, nobody could fault you for your sex drive which is a ten on the Richter scale.

• Alice : So how's the rehearsal coming?

  Joe : Oh, fine. We've got a great arrangement on "The Mooche".

  Alice : "The Mooche"?

  Joe : "Mooche." The Ellington number.

  Alice : Oh. "The Mooche." Yes.

  Joe : I figured you'd know it, for sure, because you seem so knowledgeable about jazz.