Uncle Buck (1989)

Gaby Hoffmann: Maizy Russell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maisy's Teacher : Does anybody have a special story to tell the class about something that happened this week?

  [Maisy raises her hand] 

  Maisy's Teacher : Maisy?

  Maisy Russell : My uncle was microwaving our socks and the dog threw up on the couch for an hour.

  Maisy's Teacher : Honest?

  Maisy Russell : Mm-Hmm.

  Maisy's Teacher : Why was your uncle microwaving your socks?

  Maisy Russell : He can't get the goddamn washing machine to work.

  Maisy's Teacher : Blasphemer!

• Buck : Did you brush your teeth?

  Miles : Yeah. You can even feel my toothbrush.

  Buck : You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it. To see if you actually brushed your teeth or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet.

  [Miles imagines hearing sirens, Buck leaves] 

  Maisy Russell : If that's true, we're gonna really have to start brushing our teeth.

• Buck Russell : Do you think she hates me?

  Maisy Russell : With a passion.

  Buck Russell : Really? Do you think it's the hat?

  Maisy Russell : No.

  Buck Russell : No? A lot of people hate this hat. It angers a lot of people, just the sight of it. Ah, I'll tell you a story about that on the way to school.

• Buck : [struggles to pick a hissing, fighting cat up out of the bushes]  Come on.

  [takes it into the house] 

  Buck : Hey who left the cat out?

  Maisey Russell : We don't have a cat.

  Buck : [takes the cat back out]  Shoo.

• [Miles and Maisey watch Tia make out with her boyfriend] 

  Miles : That's a pretty stupid thing to do during Flu season!

  Maisey Russell : I'll bet she's getting the tongue!

• Miles : You always kick me around, I'm an American and I have rights.

  Tia : Maisey, do I kick you around?

  Maisey Russell : No, but you said 'shit' twice, only once that counts though.

• Tia : Let the dog out.

  Maisey Russell : Parcey!

  [their dog Parcey emerges from the dryer] 

• Maisey Russell : I don't know why we need boys at all. They're so loud.

  Miles Russell : [Off screen]  Shut up!

  Maisey Russell : Shut up, yourself!

  Tia Russell : We need boys, so they can grow up, get married, and turn into shadows.

• Maisy Russell : They have rent-a-shoes!

  Tia : And rent-a-foot disease!

• [first lines] 

  Tia : Get your bag off the table, people eat there.

  Maisey Russell : People eat off of plates.

  Tia : Don't give me any crap, Maizy.