Christmas Vacation (1989)
Beverly D'Angelo: Ellen Griswold
Photos
Quotes
-
Ellen : What are you looking at?
Clark : Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]
Eddie : Shitter was full.
Clark : Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?
Ellen : Clark, please. He doesn't know any better.
Clark : He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it.
-
Ellen : I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
-
Uncle Lewis : [Clark is cleaning up the garbage off the kitchen floor after the dog went through it] Hey Gris, you're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room and get my stogey.
Clark : Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?
Ellen : He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas.
Clark : If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.
-
Ellen : Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that.
Aunt Bethany : Oh dear, did I break wind?
Uncle Lewis : Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.
-
Ellen : [sees Clark standing up and looking out the window] Aren't you having any breakfast?
Clark : I'm not in the mood.
Ellen : What are you looking at?
Clark : Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.
-
Mr. Frank Shirley : I have never been treated like this in my life!
Ellen : I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping.
Mr. Frank Shirley : [to Clark] You're fired! And where's the phone? I'm calling the police!
Eddie : Now, just hold your wad there, fella. Clark had nothin' to do with this. This here, was my idea.
Mr. Frank Shirley : All right, he's still fired. And, *you*, are going to jail!
[Eddie scoffs in clear disbelief]
Clark : No, no, Eddie. It was my fault. I lost my temper when I got my bonus and I guess I said a few thing I shouldn't have.
Mr. Frank Shirley : Bonus? How did you get a bonus?
[aggressively]
Mr. Frank Shirley : I cut out bonuses this year!
Clark : Well, thanks for telling us. I was expecting a check. Instead I got enrolled in a jelly club. Seventeen years with the company. I've gotten a Christmas bonus every year but this one. You don't want to give bonuses, fine! But when people count on them as their salary, well what you did just plain...
Rusty Griswold : Sucky.
Clark : Thanks, Russ. My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain...
Clark : Appreciate that, Clark.
Clark : Is innocent. I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this, on behalf of myself and every other employee you rear-ended this Christmas.
[dramatic pause]
Mr. Frank Shirley : Look uh, sometimes things look good on paper. But lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it you have to hurt the ones you depend on. It's people that make the difference. Little people like you. So... Clark, whatever you got last year... add
[light pause]
Mr. Frank Shirley : twenty percent.
[the whole family gasps in relief, while Clark falls down]
-
Ellen : Clark! I don't want to spend the Holidays dead!
-
Ellen : Welcome to our home - what's left of it.
-
Ellen : I have this terrible suspicion that Catherine and Eddie don't have presents for their kids. Rocky said something about Eddie telling him that Santa Claus wasn't coming this year.
Clark : Yeah, Ruby Sue said something like that last night. How can they have nothing for their children?
Ellen : Well, he's been out of work for close to seven years.
Clark : In seven years, he couldn't find a job?
Ellen : Catherine says he's been holding out for a management position.
-
Audrey : [Peeling a carrot] Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?
Ellen : Audrey!
Audrey : Well can we at least forbid them to answer the phone? Alexander called this morning and grandpa Clark told him... I couldn't come to the phone 'cause I was going to the bathroom.
Ellen : We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.
Audrey : Everybody? Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is, mom?
Ellen : [Grabs a box of matches off the fridge] Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.
Audrey : I have nightmares about what he does in his bed alone when I'm not lying right next to him.
Ellen : Well, I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
[Lights up a cigarette to smoke and Frances calls out from the next room]
Frances : Ellen, are you smoking again?
[Ellen puts out the cigarette]
Ellen : No!
[Grabs a cabbage and chops it in half]
-
Mr. Frank Shirley : I have never been treated like this in my life.
Ellen : I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping.
-
Clark : Christmas is about resolving differences, and seeing through the petty problems of family life.
Ellen : Yeah, and it's about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs, and your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip, and then they don't speak to each other...
Clark : Your mother waxes her upper lip?
Ellen : She has for years.
Clark : Doesn't show.
-
[the Griswolds are unaware that Clark is trapped in the attic]
Ellen : Daddy, is Clark coming?
Art : How would I know?
Ellen : Is he in the house?
Art : If he isn't farting around with his lights, he must be inside.
Ellen : I'm sure he wants to come shopping and have lunch with us.
[walks back to the house, but Art pulls her back to the car]
Art : He's got another car; he can drive. I have to eat - so I can take my back pill!
-
Clark : [Just veered into the left lane and got stuck under a log truck] We're alright! Thank God we're alright!
Ellen : Clark, we're stuck under a truck!
Clark : Do you honestly think I don't know that?
Rusty Griswold : Come on you guys, don't fight!
Clark : Oh for Christ's sake, I didn't do this on purpose!
Ellen : [Praying] Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, and forgive my husband, he knows not what he does.
Clark : [Before swerving out] Amen!
