Meet the Feebles (1989)
Peter Vere-Jones: Bletch, Arthur the Worm, Baker, Paperboy, Announcer
Quotes
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Sebastian : Don't worry if you feel ashamed / It's been around for years / And thousands more that can't be named / Are interested in rears / Don't worry about hell / No harm will come to your soul / We're not a Pentecostal / And everybody's got an asshole / SODOMY!
Bletch : Trevor...
Trevor : Yeah boss?
Bletch : I want that fudge packer eliminated!
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Bletch : [Heading to the golf course] Hey Barry, how's your handicap?
Barry the Bulldog : She's at home boss. Baking a cake.
[All laugh]
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Bletch : Oh, shit! I was just about to pop my cookies!
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Bletch : Have you thought of a name for it, yet?
Trevor : I was thinking along the lines of..."Dennis does Daisy".
Bletch : No. That's lousy.
Trevor : How about..."Anal Antics"?
Bletch : "Anal Antics"... yes. It will appeal to the intellectuals. Do you think it will do as well as our last release and win the Hooker Prize?
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[last lines]
Arthur the worm : Miss Heidi. I know you're a real star and all that. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to dob you in.
Heidi : Could you do one last thing Arthur?
Arthur the worm : Anything, Miss Heidi.
Heidi : Play the Garden of Love.
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Trevor : [to everyone in dressing room] I say, everyone! Who's the dirty person who did the great, big, stinky poo that blocking up the toilet?
The Sheep : [disgusted] God, Trevor! Must you be so disgusting?
F. W. Fly : [overhearing] Oh, Joyce!
[flies off to the bathroom. Entering the bathroom, Bletch grabs him]
F. W. Fly : Hey! What's you doing? Let me go!
Bletch : You've been telling stories again, haven't you?
F. W. Fly : [frightened] You've got a problem with the article? Write to the editor.
Bletch : That won't be necessary.
F. W. Fly : Help me!
[Bletch rips his right wing off, Fly screams]
Trevor : [watching with interest] Well, what do you know, boss? A left winged reporter.
Bletch : We can't have a biased press, can we Trevor?
Trevor : No, boss.
[Bletch rips Fly's other wing off, Fly screams, Bletch flushes Fly down toilet]
Bletch : Now that's what I call an impartial journalist.
[he and Trevor laugh and left the bathroom]
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Heidi : [as Bletch prepares himself a glass of champagne, Heidi appears in his office] Hello, Bletch.
[turns on lamp]
Bletch : Heidi, what the hell are you doing here?
Heidi : Congratulations. The show was a wonderful success.
Bletch : What do you want?
Heidi : Our encounter this afternoon was so brief! I thought you might like a second helping.
[takes her dress off]
Bletch : Heidi! For Christ's sake, put your dress back on!
Heidi : Come and sit next to me.
Bletch : If it's too hot for you, I can turn on the air conditioning!
Heidi : I'm hot Bletch, but not the way you think.
[wiggles her body on couch, Bletch looks away in disgust]
Heidi : You're not feeling shy, are you Bletch?
[takes her bras off and approaches Bletch]
Heidi : Do you remember that time in Paris? We didn't leave the hotel for three whole days!
Bletch : I remember all right. I had to go to the hospital with severe chafing.
Heidi : Kiss me, Bletch.
[Bletch slaps her away from him]
Bletch : Get away from me, you shuddering, mound of blubber! Have you any idea how revolting you look?
Heidi : [shocked] Bletch! No!
Bletch : You disgust me! Look at you! You're old and you're fat, and you smell... BAD!
Heidi : No!
[collapses at the door]
Bletch : I was going to wait till after the show, but I might as well tell you now. You through with the Feebles! I don't need you! I've got a syndicated series... and I'm grooming Samantha to be the star.
Heidi : [heartbroken] No.
Bletch : I hope you enjoyed tonight. That was your last performance!
[throws Heidi's dress in her face]
Bletch : Now get out of here!
[Heidi runs out of the office in tears]
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Bletch : [last words] Oh, shit!
[Heidi blows his brains out with her gun]
